ᴅᴇꜰɪᴀɴᴄᴇ - ɴᴀɴᴏᴡʀɪᴍᴏ 2019

08

I sat on my beloved railing again, relaxing in the warm sunlight and watching the distant presumption of land come closer and closer. Travelling on this boat was indeed nice, but I missed having land below my feet. I wanted to see lush trees, pretty buildings, glowing mushrooms and breath-taking landscapes. Water on it's own, was indeed beautiful, but it got pretty boring over time.

"Where are you going to go, as soon as we arrive?"

Feredir asked, coming over and chewing on a slice of bread. I didn't reply immediately. Where would I be going? Should I find work? Find a place to sleep? Probably the latter, but where would I go? I was lost. This was completely new terrain for me. Did we even speak the same language.

"I am just going to guess, that you have no idea."

He stated, before I had the chance to formulate an answer. I nodded and didn't dare to look at him. He would think, that I am helpless. Which I obviously wasn't.

"Dunno, well you can gladly come with me. At least until you know what to do and where to go."

I wasn't sure. For the entire time I planned to just leave him behind. I thought, that all of this would just be temporary. It obviously still was, but just throwing all my unspecific plans into the wind felt wrong. Maybe I should agree. I could always leave him.

"Ok. I mean, it's better than being lost in an unknown country."

I took a quick glance at him, just to see how he'd react. He smiled. And yet again, I couldn't help but look at his teeth. I didn't know why, but their irregularity disturbed me in some way, that I couldn't explain. I directly looked away and back at the widening spot of land that started to spread out, over our horizon.

I couldn't wait to see how it floated. For some reason, I didn't really see how it was when we left our continent behind, so I was looking forward to this time.

"Do you know, what you want to do one day eventually?"

I was confused. In what way was that meant?

"I mean, in like, are you going to marry? Are you planning on having children one day? What kind of job do you want to have? You know? That kind of stuff."

I could feel, that he was looking at me, but decided to avoid eye contact. Well, if he was curious, then I must reply.

"I'm not to sure. Maybe I will go ahead and just live alone in the forest. I most certainly want to do something plant related. They interest me a lot, so I want to earn my money through them. I never thought about marriage or anything family related. I'm not even sure, if I feel attracted to people at all to be fair."

"That sounds pretty undefined, if you ask me. Have you never thought, what you want to do one day in life? No achievements you want to... in like, achieve?"

I shrugged. I had my goals, but why did he expect me to tell them to him? This is a very intimate topic, so I obviously wouldn't spill out my heart to someone like him. I have grown to tolerate him, but I don't trust him with my wishes, wants and everything. That wasn't anything he needed to know, as such I don't feel obliged to tell them to him.

"Ok, then not. I, for my part, want to marry one day. You know, just that classical picture perfect, average family. That's my goal in life, apart from owning a large library or bookshop. Then I will get my mother to move over and will hopefully find a place, close to my brother's and then the family will be reunited. And I am a happy man."

That sounded quite nice. I sighed. I would never be able to have such a normal life. My eye will always set me apart from everyone else. I will always be someone different. Whether that is positive or negative, isn't important in this context.