I wake up the next morning, not being able to remember what went on last night, I went out with Alissa, but getting to the club, the time at the club and coming home aren't things that I remember. I look for my phone and find it dead, underneath my bed, I plug it in and wait an incredibly long time for it to turn back on. When it finally does turn back on, I see hundreds of messages from jack.
jack: Tessa please talk to me
jack: please tell me what's going on
jack: are you okay
jack: Tessa
jack: Tessa I'm coming over
jack: Tessa, why are you being like this
jack: are you drunk
jack: are you high
jack: Tessa please just tell me you're okay
jack: I'm outside, let me in.
great, jack came over last night. I don't even want to know what we talked about. I text him back,
Tessa: I'm sorry for texting you last night, I was really drunk and didn't know what I was doing, just know, it'll never happen again.
jack: you don't even want to know what we talked about?
Tessa: have a feeling you're going to tell me anyway, so go ahead, shoot.
jack: well, basically, you told me how much of a fuck-up and a disappointment I was and that my mother would be ashamed of the person she raised because he thinks it's cute to run around and destroy girls hearts, their confidence and any type of trust they ever have of people. I understand how much I fucked up Tessa, you have to believe me, I was just jealous of the fact that Tristan got to go to the city of love with you and that Tristan got to experience such a beautiful place with you and got to see you in such amazing outfits and I didn't. I love you so much Tessa, I never even slept with her, I kissed her once, I used her as an emotional support type of thing and any time I talked to her, any time she tried to touch me or kiss me, you're the only thing I could think about
Tessa: drunk Tessa was right, you are a disappointment.
jack: tessa.. please. just forgive me
Tessa: fuck you.
I put my phone in airplane mode and walk downstairs, I see Alissa asleep on the couch and lightly shake her to make sure she's alive. she moves a bit and that tells me she's just sleeping.
I go to the kitchen and start making myself some breakfast when I get a memory from last night. I was standing in the kitchen and jack was standing across from me, he's crying and begging me to just listen to him, I refuse, he walks closer to me, and put his hands around my waist, I pick up the cup of water he was trying to get me to drink and pour it over his head.
he steps back and says "I know you only did that because you're drunk, I'm going to get some clothes that I left here, and change, then I'm gonna help you get to bed, you need sleep." he starts walking upstairs and I follow him, he gets changed, hands me clothes and I change in front of him, he turns around. I lay in bed and when he starts saying bye, I ask him to stay, tell him I don't want to sleep if he leaves, and so he lays next to me,
he stays there, I can't remember him ever leaving, but he left before I woke up. my heart pings with pain, a deep pain, "I miss him" type of pain. I finish making breakfast and bring it upstairs to where my phone is. I take my phone out of airplane mode and 13 missed calls come in from JJ. I call him back.
"Hey j, what's up?" I say.
"Just wanted to warn you, Jack is on his way and he said he's 'going to win you back'" he says,
"fuck, how long ago did he leave?" I ask
"I'd say like 5 minutes ago, but he had some stops to make." he says
"Okay, thank you darling boy," I say
"of course honey bear," he says as he hangs up the phone.
I scarf down my breakfast and get in the shower, I want the smell of drunk to be off of me before jack gets here, we may not be together but I still want him to think good of me, and right now I don't think good of myself. So, I shower and really wash my hair, really just get in there and wash the smell of vodka sodas and cigarettes out of the thick curly mess that is my hair.
after about 25 minutes, and extensive washing, I get out of the shower. I dry myself off and go get dressed. As I walk into my room, I hear my phone ding, signaling a text. It's from jack.
jack: hey, can you unlock the door?
Tessa: I'm naked rn, when I get dressed I'll think about it.
I hurry and get dressed, I want to see him so bad, I know what he did was so fucked up, but still, the deepest most sincere parts of my heart need to see him. With my hair a mess, I run down the stairs and unlock the door, and there he is, he's perfect, his hair, he's tan, and he's holding a puppy, the cheesiest most generic gift he could've gotten me, but we talked about it, when we were old and married and our kids were off to college, we'd get a golden retriever and name her bumble and she'd stay with us until we died. and here he is, 30 years early holding a golden retriever with a dog tag that says "bumble" on it.
I can feel the tears in my eyes, they just haven't quite fallen yet, "She's perfect jack, thank you" I say
"she comes with stipulations. she means that I will be better for you, I will tell you when I'm feeling insecure and I will tell you when I am jealous, you are who I go to for my emotional support, you are the love of my life, and we have her, me and you, no 50/50 custody, it's me and you, together, in the same house."
"you want to move in together?" I question
"I want me and you and bumble and well, JJ, all together, I want to wake up with you Tessa, I just want you," he says.
and then I do it, I kiss him and it's perfect, his lips, the kiss itself, everything about this is perfect, I can't believe it's happening.
and then, i come to my senses, he cheated on me, and no gift can make up for that, not even the dream of our own golden retriever, nothing can take back what he did. i step back, put the puppy on the ground, letting her get used to the area.
"whats wrong now?" he questions.
"you cheated on me. you did that, you can say you only thought of me, but i don't know thats for sure, you..cheated on me." and i can feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
"tessa, come on. i bought you a puppy." he says like that is the thing that will fix what he's done.
"you bought me a puppy, because you cheated on me. ill pay you back for the dog, i'm keeping her, but this here, me and you, is not okay because you bought me a dog, you went outside of our relationship out of spite, because i had to go on a business trip, mandatory, management arranged business trip." i say.
he looks me dead in the eyes and utters,"the dog was seventeen hundred dollars, ill take cash or a check, whichever is easiest for you." i walk upstairs and grab my checkbook, write him a check and walk back down when it's done.
"i love you." he says as he's walking out of the door.
"goodbye jack."
