Forgiving Friar Park

7. How Do You Sleep?

I sluggishly strap Louisa into her pram and make my way down to the lobby, heading out the doors to the nearest supermarket to pick up essentials.

After picking up food and toiletries, I head over to Oxford Street to buy new clothes, not wanting to go back to FriarPark to get more.

I'm browsing through the shops mindlessly, not being able to concentrate, with my head being filled with George and Pattie being happy together. That is until I hear my name being called.

'(Y/N!) (Y/N!)'

Recognising the voice, I slowly turn around, knowing I can't ignore her.

'Barbara, hello.' I greet dimly.

'Hi, How are you? I heard what happened.'

I close my eyes in embarrassment and shame.

'Let's just say I've been better. How'd you find out?'

'George has been ringing non-stop, thinking you would have stayed with us.'

'Always on the phone. That's how this all started.'

'So I've heard.'

After a brief pause, she reveals:

'George is in a bad way.'

'Why should I care? What about me and Lou? Does he think we're not in a bad way too?'

'You should care because he's the father of your child! You can't ignore him forever.'

By this point, we're slowly walking down the street, the bustling road making it hard to hear each other.

'I understand you're hurting, and I know what he did was unforgivable, but whatever you two decide to do, it doesn't change the fact that Louisa needs her father, and I think I'm right in saying you need your George.' She offers a sympathetic smile, looking deep into my eyes.

'But it's not the first time he's done it. What's to say he won't do it again and again? How many times do I have to forgive him?'

'This is different from Maureen. You have a child together and neither of you can forget that. George understands now that his actions impact his daughter, and he loves her more than anything else in the world. He wouldn't dare think of another woman if it put Louisa in jeopardy.'

I take a few minutes to think.

'What do you mean he's in a bad way?'

'Richard visited him yesterday, and said he'd never seen him in such a state. Apparently, he'd drunk a whole bottle of whiskey, as well as loads of drugs. Some he hadn't done since 1967. He looked on the verge of death, and Rich was sure if he hadn't have visited when he did, he would likely to be dead by now.'

Hearing the word 'dead' made my heart stop momentarily, and I struggles to breathe for quite a few moments. I felt like I had whiplash, and I couldn't pull through.

'You mean...he almost killed himself?'

Barbara gave a small nod, and pulled me into a hug, seeing my dazed and shocked state. After everything, I still loved him and I needed him to help me raise our child.

'You need to talk to him.'

Swallowing hard, I rubbed my palm over my face and steadied myself, knowing what needed to be done. How could I sleep tonight knowing how close to death he is?

'Alright, thanks. If you'll excuse me, my husband needs me.'

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