my last pages 》 nomin

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He had no idea how he ended up at Donghyuck's house in the dead of night, but he knew he regretted it. Donghyuck abandoned him the second Mark walked through the door and left him with a boy he had never spoken to before. He was cute, maybe a bit short, and he was quiet. Not quiet in a shy way, but in an inquisitive, people watching way that made Jaemin want to know just how much he had seen.

Renjun was different from the rest of his friends. He was genuine from the top of his fluffy hair to the tips of his Christmas socks. Jaemin thought he'd get along with Jeno extremely well, but Renjun didn't care to hear about his friend.

Donghyuck was watching from the corner as the two interacted with an impish smile. He may have planned this get together to set his two friends up, but he'd deny it until the day he died. Mark hovered over him with an arm placed loosely around his waist; a sign of possession but not obsession. Donghyuck told Jaemin to invite Jeno, but the teenager refused, saying that he wanted Jeno to meet them when he was comfortable. It was his loss, honestly, and now his man was chatting it up with a different cutie.

"You're strange, Jae."

Renjun's palm was placed against Jaemin's wrist tentatively, the other hand finding it's way to his exposed bicep.

Jaemin chuckled and flicked his bangs out of his eyes. Jaemin found it endearing how Renjun's height forced him to look up from under his soft eyelashes. Jeno's eye smile flashed through his head momentarily and he physically recoiled from Renjun's gentle touch.

"Sorry," he mumbled, attempting to break the awkwardness. Renjun seemed unsure of whether he could place his hand back on Jaemin's wrist but did so anyway. His fingers crawled painstakingly slowly into Jaemin's open palm where they intimately intertwined.

"Relax." Renjun rubbed his thumb over the back of Jaemin's hand, but thoughts of Jeno kept his body stiff.

Was this considered cheating if he had never told Jeno how he felt?

"I am very relaxed."

"Right, and I'm totally not interested in you," Renjun scoffed playfully and rolled his eyes. Jaemin didn't remember anyone ever being so openly interested in him and was not-so-unconsciously basking in the attention. 

"Right, exactly."

Renjun removed his nimble fingers from Jaemin's boney hand to snag a drink from Donghyuck's counter. It was clear and filled to the brim with crushed ice, and Renjun downed it with a painful grimace. Jaemin assumed it was water, but was proved wrong when he tasted the hint of vodka that lingered on his tongue. It stung Jaemin's throat, but he was hooked. Maybe Renjun was exactly that too.

Jaemin pulled away from the mesmerizing kiss panting and confused. He mumbled a quick goodbye to everyone and ignored Renjun's insulted face as he slammed the door shut. He needed his notebook and Jeno, not vodka flavored kisses and confusing emotions. His bedroom door hit the wall from how violently he opened it and Jeno jumped.

"Jesus, Nana, you scared me." He placed his hand on his heart and flopped sideways on the bed to see Jaemin better. The teen gave him a nod of acknowledgment but didn't verbally respond until he placed his pen down three hours later with cramping fingers. By that time, Jeno had fallen back asleep and heard none of Jaemin's mental breakdown that followed.

Vodka flavored kisses
Or the sweetest cotton candy lips.

Did he want to be poisoned
Or did he want to be enthralled?

Was the dizzying taste of his tongue
Worth the weight of the guilt in my heart?

Two worlds collided in a kiss
Two worlds broke apart in a kiss.

Vodka will never be poured over the sweetest cotton candy and mix.

It will always dissolve under its toxic touch.

And I swear I'm going under too.