Once upon a time in a far off land of Ancient Greece lived a beautiful (when I say beautiful, I mean question your sexuality beautiful) Princess Psyche (She's an ok gal)
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She was compared to Aphrodite (we don't like her one bit sis), the goddess of love and beauty a lot
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Aphrodite didn't like that shizzle one bit because she can't stand anyone being prettier than her. She decided to make her life miserable (Girl tea) so she made her son, Eros (aka Cupid, he's an ok dude) strike her with one of his arrows and make her fall in love with a spooky monster.
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But, when he saw Psyche and all of her beauty he was like "Well shit" and stabbed himself with one of his arrows by accident. (Yup, real smart dude). He then calls on Zephyr, the west wind.
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He told him the whole story and Zephyr was like "Aye, I got chu bro," and told Psyche that she needed to wait on a cliff for her giant monster boyfriend. So she did for like three days and he carried her off to Eros's castle. Eros was invisible and told Psyche that she would never be able to see him, but would he provided for by his invisible servants (a little creepy, amiright?????) Psyche was like "How splendid" and she lived there for many months. Eventually they did the nasty and Psyche got pregnant. She was feeling lonely and Eros allowed her sisters to visit her (Psyche should've have invited them on her own, she doesn't need her husband's blessing, sorry I'm ranting I want more strong independent women out here).
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Psyche's sisters were jealous of her and were like "What if he's a monster you should check just to be sure," and Psyche decided that she would. So once they left, she went into Eros's bedchambers with an oil lamp and a dagger (Yeah! More independencey!!!!!!) She then saw that Eros was in fact not a spooky monster and was in fact a hot ass person. The oil in her lamp yeeted itself onto Eros's body, waking him up. He looked at Psyche and yeeted himself out the window, because she betrayed him. Aphrodite was now pissed and really wanting to make Psyche's life miserable because her Mama Bear instincts were kicking in (but this wouldn't have started if it weren't for u periodt) . So she helped out her son and then stormed down to Psyche. She was like "Boo boo you have to do these three tasks and then I'll let you have your little boyfriend back. But they're impossible so have fun," and Psyche was like "And I oop!!" So Aphrodite gave her the first task, to arrange a bunch of pebbles by color by sun rise. There were like a lot of colors. Aphrodite gave out an evil witch laugh and left. Then Psyche started to arrange the pebbles. Then ants took pity on her and arranged them for her. I wish ants could help me in real life. The next day, Aphrodite expected to see that Psyche failed by Psyche was like "Sike bitch" and then Aphrodite gave her the second task, which was to collect Golden fleece from the sheep (with Golden fleece?????????) Psyche went down and tried to rip some off the sheep because this is Ancient Greece and that's not the worst thing that has happened to an animal (shudders at thought of that) then Zeus, fed up with Aphrodite's bullshit sent down an eagle and they got it sorted out and shit and she figures out she needed to collect it from the trees that snagged up the fleece. She did and Aphrodite is still angry. Eros, is completely over it and wants nothing more than to go see his girlfriend again and is like "Imma head out" but Aphrodite is like "Move and I'll chop your dick off," so he stays put for the time being. Then Aphrodite gives Psyche her final task, which is to bring a box to Persephone in the Underworld and to get her to put some of her beauty in it so Aphrodite can use it for herself. Psyche's like "Ok then I guess sksksksksksksk," and she brings the box down to the Underworld and gets some beauty from Persephone. On her way back she decides she needs a pick-me-up and opens the dam box. Well, there was actually poison in the box. Luckily, Eros escapes and saves Psyche and brings her to Olympus and feeds her nectar and ambrosia, and she becomes immortal, (with the permission of Zeus, of course) then everyone is happy and the end.
