Evolvement Error

what's past is past.

After that night, John couldn't sleep, his mind was sleep deprived with thoughts like that. He saw his daughter getting killed by a hellhound in a nightmare. And it looked so Real.. He poured himself some coffee and just rubbed his eyes trying to take off some sleep away. When all of a sudden Dean comes in.
"Morning dad! You're up early"
"Oh! Yeah! Rough night" John said not wanting to lie anymore. 
"Yeah? what happened?" Dean looked up at his father concerned and worriedly. John looked at Dean... "Son.. let's just say... Take care of your sister.. and don't die for her.. because she's strong headed." 
Dean's face turned serious "dad, what are you talking about?" fear evident in his voice. 
"Dean... I had a nightmare of watching Kayla being ripped away from me by hell hounds..." John said straight forward biting his lip before he continued "she did it to bring you back... you and Sam.. So please.. for the love of whatever's out there... don't do anything stupid! Please son!" 
Deans eyes gotten teary before he nodded "yes sir" he choked. John gave him a soft sad smile "Dean, you can stop calling me Sir. I used to be hard on you before yes but... that was a long different me." Dean nodded at that and looked at his hands. "Dad... All these nightmares... all these losses... all these deaths... when are they gonna stop?" Dean said not silently crying. John's face grown softer and softer. "Son" he spoken ever so softly at him. 
Dean looked up at his father "They will never stop.. but that doesn't mean we should stop and ignore it" John asked his son gently.
"what if I do? I mean... we did what we could! we stopped the darkness. We killed monsters out there... leviathans! Hell hounds.. what else is there dad?" Dean asked with a breaking voice about to tear up. 
"Son." 
"No, dad think about it... who started this family?! Mum!! Who made a deal to a yellow eyed demon so he can give Sammy demon blood? Mum! who sent Kayla to an adoption center? Mum! The only woman I used to actually look up to!"
"Dean... She did that because of me... you know that, right?" John asked with a narrowed eyes. Dean looked up "dad, that wasn't your fault! Mum had a choice!"
"I know... and that choice was to bring me back! She should've kept me dead!" 
"No! She should've listened to me!! when I told her when I was back in time to stay in bed if she hears an odd sound!! But she didn't!!!! She still went to Sam's room and got herself killed!! I told her that if she ever has a girl!! Not to abandon her!! and what did she do?!?! she placed her in an adoption center, still" Deans voice cracked into tears. John looked up at Dean with soft eyes "you did what?" Dean didn't reply back... He was just plain tearing up not able to speak no more. He quietly went up to his father reached for a mug and made himself some coffee. "Dean... do we need to talk about this? How you went back in time?"
"when we first met Cas we... Me and Kayla we.. we were talking to him.. we barely knew him at that time... but he sent us back in time... he took us back into the 80's to meet you and you in your younger times and told us to stop it... we didn't know what it was at that time but then we knew that he meant the yellow eyed demon... so.. when we figured out it was too late I uh... I told mum that... if she ever had twins...a boy and a girl.. she should never abandon the girl... and she should never leave the house on that date... but she didn't listen did she?... things still happened the same way she wanted it... and we still have this hell of a life because of her... everything is because of Mary Campbel, she's not even a Winchester to me anymore..." Dean's heart was drenching through every word he was saying. 

John placed his cup down and walked over to his son and pulled him into a fatherly hug. Dean just broke into his fathers arms. John gave a soft sad smile patting his back "It's alright! Everything's gonna be alright son... mum's not here anymore... It should be ok" John reassured softly. 
Dean shivered and just stayed in his fathers arms. "thanks dad" 
"Don't sweat it! Speaking of sweat... Does Sam jog and Train? while eating healthy?" John asked with a raised eyebrow. "Oh! Yeah! He does!" Dean said with a nod and a side smirk. "Well then... he is one rare of a hunter.. us hunters.. the real hunters." John winked at his son playfully and continued "we uh... we love our burgers.. pies.. and some lazying around on the couch watching tv and drinking scotch"
"And I happen to know another hunter like that except for me" 
"And who does this happen to be?" John asked rather curiously. Dean softly smirked "Your own daughter." he replied proudly
"Wait... seriously?,.. Kayla?. She drinks scotch?" John asked curiously again with a raised eyebrow. 
"Like a pro! She's your typical hunter! Listens to 80's rock, eats her junk food, lazying around until there's a case... drinks beer and scotch... that's why I call her my kitty..." Dean praised his sister. John chuckled and nodded "Alright..I dig that my daughter is not a wimp like other hunter girls... but.. one thing.. another thing Hunters do sometimes... they have needs. So.. did she?.. cause if she did tell me there needs, I need to do some punching around" John spoke. 

Dean chuckled nervously "Uuuhh.. Oh.. Yeah that uh.. well. .sh... she certainly did.. but..I handled them... don't worry about it."
"That's my boy!" John smirked at his eldest kid. Dean smirked and chuckled "Yeah uh... sh... she's the best sister I could have ever wished for.. I'm happy to have her in my life... And she loves you... when you sold your soul for her and me... she was changed for almost 6 weeks... couldn't eat... couldn't sleep... she just drank herself to sleep... couldn't even get off the motel bed... She didn't sing along... nothing... She truly loved you dad..." 
John smiled sadly at that "That time probably have given you kids a scar in your life."
"Scar?... Dad... Sam couldn't stop having nightmares... Kayla couldn't even do human stuff to live... I could barely focus... dad, it was traumatizing... losing a father isn't a good thing. I have been looking after Sam my whole life... and then after Kayla came in... I felt like I'm a mother and a father of two... which... is a funny thing because... I didn't mind it..." 
"I know Dean. I know. I'm sorry... I just wanted you and Kayla to bond more... along with Sam as well." 
"It.. It's alright dad.. it happened. It's past and we sure did bond" Dean digressed with a soft chuckled. John softly smiled and nodded "great! You hungry? Want me to make breakfast?"
"Starving!" Dean replied. "Kayla will probably wake up next if you cook chocolate chip pancakes, eggs and bacon" 
"I'm on it!" John smirked before getting out the utensils to start breakfast.