Dear you,
It's been a few hours since my last letter and I've just been watching friends, the episode where Rachel and Monica both forgot the keys to the apartment and it reminded me of that time in Edinburgh when we both forgotten the key to Uncle Martins apartment and the toaster began to set a light because somebody decided that it would be OK to put fatty bacon in a toaster for a quicker grill....
We argued for days about that ...do you remember? I do. I was so mad at you, mainly because we had to fork out £70 for a toaster which we couldn't afford but you being your optimistic self always told me not to worry because you would fix it and you know what? You always did.
And I have a confession, it was my fault why we were locked out.
I was so sure that I said get the keys and it was a few weeks later when I realised I actually had the keys , my uncles cleaner phoned me and said that I have left my jeans there and some keys were in my back pocket- the same jeans I had worn that day.
I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't face with the I told you so - you know how stubborn I can be and YOU know how much I can't stand you being right. Well it was my fault and I am sorry. I am truly sorry.
I wish you was here to tell me it's ok and it was just a bad dream and that you are still here.
It hurts. It's hurt uncontrollably - will it ever get easier? Some days I so wished it did because getting out of bed and thinking of you everyone second of the day... it gets too much and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but on the other hand, I want to feel it so I know I can still feel you.
No ice cream, chocolate or wine can fix it. Not even my hot baths. I haven't got the right balance yet. I'm not you! You always knew the perfect amount that would make me feel better.
I haven't taken off your jumper for days and it's beginning to smell. I know I am gross but I don't want to wash it - in time yeah?
It's my first day back at work tomorrow - I hate attention. ... Ok yes that's a little lie, ok a big lie but I only like attention from you. Just you.
It will be fine - right?
Has it really been 8 months? I hope it hasn't had a huge change over .... Helen has updated me on the new you - Chris Baker. We shall see on that one ...
I'm going to try and sleep now, I need some form of sleep; an hour would be good.
I love you. You always
I miss you
My god I MISS YOU
YOU ARE READING
Dear You
RomanceSarah Swansport after losing her college sweetheart at just 29 , Sarah has to learn who she is and how to be a one and no longer a two. Now after 8 months of mourning and after speaking to her dead husband every day Sarah has now come back to work...
