A Soft Touch

5. A Dark Memory

Thrawn

I begin to tell Soveria what happened.

"I was very tired. I came in here to sleep. But I couldn't, because something or someone was keeping from me from doing so. Then I became very startled. I don't know why, but I began to question why I can't sleep.

And.........then I remembered." I shivered.

"This is very difficult to explain...." I look at Soveria. Her expression is so.....loving. I remember that she said she would be there for me, that she loved me, cared about enough even to put her OWN LIFE on the line to protect me from harm.

Not only that, we're friends going through everything together, happiness, sadness, anger, and finally pasts that hurt.......I can do this.

Soveria gently rubs my back. She's definitely here for me. This boosts me to tell her everything. I breathe out. Here it goes.

"I blame myself for my older brother's death."

I can't take it. It's too much say.

"I can't....." I trail off.

Pain travels through me. Soveria gasps. She hadn't heard about this. She covers her mouth in shock.

"Oh, Thrawn.....oh no.....w-what, how?" she asks. She torn at the news.

"As soon as I remembered this I..... fainted. I struggled to breathe, think, move, anything at all. The only to describe it was a dark void of nothingness. Darkness so bad it could kill you. I think you know this terror."

Soveria nods,

"It's the Dark Side of the Force. I believe the nightmare was a past vision. You've had the Force since you were young. Its been awhile since you've had vision. Someone decided to make you suffer.

THAT'S uncalled for and you will get the justice for pain and suffering some SITH caused, thinking he could get away with it. NOT ON MY WATCH!" she shouts.

Soveria's furious. She breathes out. She nods for me to continue.

"Well....it wanted to eat me.......whole."

Soveria's shocked.

"I was....terrified, I couldn't move, I felt like I suffocating. I struggled to make sense of my surroundings and shifted myself on the floor of a ship saw the Darkn-Dark Side come for me and I ran quickly, an adrenaline rush kicked in." I admit.

I gulp. Uh-Oh. Oh no.........I begin to shake and hyperventilate. Noooooooo!!!!!

"Thrawn. Thrawn! I'm here. Listen, if you can't tell me right now, it's ok. We can do this later." she calmly says soothingly.

No, I must. No.....Waves of grief, and depression cover my ripped being. At this rate......I think I'm going to cry.....alot. I'm pretty sure Soveria knows, so I won't say I will.

"I'm going to tell you....." I try and catch my breath.

Soveria nods. I cover my face with my arms. I feel horrible.

"The Dark Side shows me a fear I've had, the loss of a loved one in death. So, I see a huge black screen, a command chair, the walls and other equipment in an eerie glow. But that's not the point, its what I fear. Do you see?" I ask.

"Yes, definitely." she confirms.

"The Darkn-Dark Side.....turns on a screen and shows outside. There's a ship and it's called the Outbound Flight. My brother,.......Thrass and thirty others were on it."

"Ok.....then...." she prompts.

"Then, there was this crazy jedi-no offense."

"None taken."

"His name was Jorus C'baoth. He lead me into a trap, and when I least expected to be betrayed by him, he started to choke me. Since I could not signal the other ship, Jorus had full control." I say snarling.

"He had a remote.

Linking to the hyperdrive.

Set to detonate."

The pain courses through me ready to explode........

"He smiled at me and told me this was for getting even with me for leaving him to die, on Tatooine in a sandstorm without water, nothing. I had did that, but forgot about it later." I say sadly.

I wanted to scream in horror but couldn't because he had me in a vise.

Just before he......presses it, he says,

"Unfortunately for you, this will be the last time you will ever see me or anyone else for a very long time. You will fail, and will never be released from this eternal darkness. Everyone you love will die, because of you. This is YOUR FAULT.

You will be rejected from your society.
YOU WILL BLAME YOURSELF FOR THIS! You deserve everything that's going to happen to you. Now........I'm going to take away the one person you love the most."

I said with the most hatred, depicting Jorus's voice.

"And with that.......the ship explodes and HEAR their screams!!!........I am released and I........" I trail off.

I flat out start sobbing.......everything just comes out...........I don't hold anything back. I cry out for long time.

Soveria gently rubs back and then hugs me. I embrace her. This has been tough. Soveria takes the burden of the pain very well. I imagine she too will cry. She has to. I want to comfort her in return. I feel my face.

Are these...... all tears?

How much crying have I done?

"I screamed and cry out for Thrass. Then I woke up to see you here." I finished