Isabella Blakewood "For those who don't know me and look at my life on Instagram..." I talked to the screen of my phone as I looked at some of the comments on my live.
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"And it looks very glamorous and it looks like oh she travels.."
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"She must have everything she wants." I continued on repeating some of the things people would say in my comments.
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I exhaled looking off to the side for a few seconds. I don't know what had gotten into me or why I was even doing this when I hadn't even been on social media in about a year. Today I just felt like I needed to express myself and pour my heart out. Some days I felt like my children and I were in this alone dealing with this pain alone. I had to take a long hard look at myself and realize I'd come too far with therapy to let myself sink into a deep dark depressing hole again. I'd ended up in my best friend's shower completely out of it not knowing why but I couldn't keep doing this to myself or my babies. I'd survived cancer. I had to survive this. I missed Davon so much but I knew after reflecting for the last two months that it was time. It was time to let him go. I hadn't visited his grave since he'd been buried and I felt terrible about it. It was just that if I went there it would hit me all over again that he was gone. I'd be reminded of that night. I was doing much better than I was years ago but that wasn't something I was ready for. All things took time I guess.
