Now this is a study that I, Dr. Joe Mamah have conducted with my partner, Dr. Yuri Tarded, who happens to be Russian. Our test subject is my old friend, Mike Ock. We had brainwashed him with Fortnite propaganda, we managed to convince him to play the game by lying to him about it being good. When in reality, it is absolutely horrendous and Dr. Yuri and I had came to an agreement that the game is huge homosexual.
However, as terrible the game is, it had apparently been linked to an increased death rate in children that were at least 7 years of age, some being younger or older than that. Dr. Yuri and I were personally approached to do some research on it. Using poor, gullible Mike as a guinea pig. He started playing the game immediately after we brainwashed him about it being good.
This was when we noticed how drastically different Mike's behavior had been getting.
First, he showed signs of autism, he started to constantly screech at us for no reason and started telling people in the game that he will "fuck your mom". He also started using words like "epic" and "pro gamer" unironically.
Another symptom was his constant need for Vbucks. When Dr. Yuri had woken up this morning, he was greeted by Mike. However, he didn't greet people like he usually did. Mike often told people to suck his cock every time he greets them awake. Instead of that however, he was instead, performing the default dance from Fortnite, asking Yuri for his mom's credit card number.
When Yuri asked what he needed it for, Mike instead started to do the Floss, another dance featured in Fortnite. All the words he could say were "Give me your mom's credit card number" over and over. However, knowing Yuri, he is Russian, and Russians are quite strong-willed. So he didn't give in that easily.
Until Mike started performing the Orange Justice which had given Yuri a brain tumor. That bastard Mike hospitalized my partner Yuri. And at what cost?
He admitted while we were outside the operating room that he was trying to get more Vbucks, which happens to be the currency in the game. It's like Robux, but inferior in every single way.
I asked Mike why he wanted more Vbucks when he had just gotten some a few days prior to this incident.
Apparently, Epic Games had announced brand new Fortnite skins, which they had referred to as "Foreskins". Mike, being the one who always makes jokes about his phallic region, knew of course that he had to get them.
This bastard is getting worse and worse. I'm assuming he's caught some sort of disease that started because of us brainwashing him with propaganda. All Yuri and I wanted to do was make fun of the guy for being interested in Fortnite unironically.
However, what we never expected was it to become something more serious. This is starting to become more than a crazed Fortnite fanboy.
I will continue to conduct observations on Mike. I will see if I can find out what kind of disease he has acquired, and see if I can find a way to cure it.
Dr. Joe Mamah, signing out.
