A'stari Amerie Johnson
21
Chicago, Illinois
"Everything you did, you fucked me up" my phone played for the fourth time in a hour as I sat here smoking my blunt, thinking damn where I went wrong? Why would she leave? She was selfish as fuck for leaving but hey you can't make anyone stay with you. I had to learn to let her leave even though I wanted the bitch so bad, but I wasn't desperate she wanted to leave now she gone.
"She fuck me and tell me I'm lucky, I just need someone to hold me like oh my god" I sung my little heart out to Chris Brown cause that nigga did his shit on this song.
"I can't fuck with you no more, cause there you were to tell that I'm wrong" he said as I thought about what happened when I first met that bitch, the bitch who fucked me so good and act like I wasn't shit afterwards, the bitch who kept cheating on me with different pretty bitches, also the same bitch who played with my heart and feelings made me fall in love just to ghost me but I loved that girl I've been fucking with her since I was 12 years old, But I knew the truth about her she was scared, because we are both masculine I didn't give a fuck I loved her but she was so stupid and naive I honestly hate the bitch.
My past wasn't that bad I had a normal childhood until my parents separated leading my mom into a toxic relationship and my dad becoming a drunk
he was manipulative and sometimes I felt like life would be better without him, my mom was my best friend she was there every step of the way. I met this girl, when I was 12 years old she was pretty as fuck I couldn't help but to watch her every time I seen her walk past my house going to the store on the corner. Enough about her, it's been 3 months since she left I hated her even more than I thought I did .
I been looking for another apartment or something since that bitch left , just up and left me for no reason at all that's how stupid and selfish she was but I loved her stupid ass shit I was in love with her stupid ass and as much as I don't want to admit I miss her like crazy. I just wanted to understand her, I wanted her to stay because she loves me or stay because I mean something to her but she couldn't, she didn't have the balls to look me in my eyes and say she didn't love me so she left cause I guess she thought it was easier.
I got a chance to get down to business after a while I had to work on a few shipments coming into the store on friday. I owned a clothing store called "Amerie Star" I had the best vendors money could buy, everything was legit I didn't sell fake shit that I know people wouldn't buy or ugly shit that was out of style I had a unique idea for my store, it's the main thing that keeps me going other than my club that has been open for almost 6 months now. I'm working on expanding my club to Toronto in a couple months I needed a fresh start somewhere new cause being here drove me crazy everything reminded me of how lonely I was without her.
I finally got up and cleaned the left over weed off the dresser and put into my jar, I had 5 jars with a different kind of way for every day of the week except Saturday and Sunday I smoke my best friend weed on Saturday's and on Sunday's I restock my shit with what I haven't tried yet. I had best friend but really like like a sister to me, her name was heaven janae but everybody calls her es we been friends since pre-k I wouldn't be shit without her. She was at the club checking on things for me so I called her to make sure everything was running smoothly.
"Hey daddy" she said on the third ring she was crazy but I love her nonetheless.
"Wassup bitch" I said smiling this bitch cause she was the only one I could call and feel some type of happiness she was another light in my life they bout were but she never left me and I appreciate her so much.
"Nun wassup with you daddy" she said playing as I laughed into the phone at her gay ass i kind of miss her and want to see her later.
"I was calling to see was everything ok down at the club" I said sweeping the floor I haven't cleaned the house all week and it needed to be clean badly.
"Yea everything is good, how you feeling today" she asked as i sighed I didn't want to get into talking about that girl but I knew she would ask me.
"I'm good I been working on a couple things for the store and cleaning the house so I'm have a productive day so far" I said to her as i laid the rug back down in my bathroom floor.
"That's good can I see you later" she asked as I smirked I had a feeling she wanted to see me too, and I know what y'all thinking ain't she your best friend? Yea she is but we have a complicated relationship.
"Yea you can come through, I'll cook a nice dinner and we can just relax and watch movies" I said as I shooed the dog out the bathroom, she was trying to take a shit and I just cleaning the floor.
"Ok is there anything you need me to pick up or what?" She asked as I watched the dog still try to shit on my floor making me stomp my foot.
"Get your shitty ass outta here" I yelled as the dog took off running into my room, I heard es laughing as I rolled my eyes.
"Ain't shit funny and no I don't need anything just make sure ricardo count the money before he leaves and make sure that body girl get her cut for her baby" I told her picking up dior and taking her outside in the backyard to use the bathroom.
"Ight ima text you when I'm bout to pull up" she said as I hung the phone and texted a couple of my business partners back as I waited on dior to finish shitting with her stanky ass.
After I got the ok about a drop I was doing Saturday I grabbed Dior and went back into the house sitting her down in front her water and walked to the freezer to see what I was going to cook later. Shit I really didn't have to much of anything but I had some stuff to make chicken alfredo so I took the chicken out and put it in the sick to thaw out. After that I went into the living room and started to pick up dior toys and other random shit I had laying around my living room.
"Alexa play jaded by drake" I said as I heard her starting the song this was the song that made me think about her, she treated me so bad but I loved her so much. I gave my virginity to that girl and she didn't even love me, I lit my blunt as dior came running jumping on my lap as I laid back on the couch smoking the second blunt of the day.
Matoria Denise was the "girl" I used to get so happy seeing her, just seeing her smile and that ugly ass hyena laugh she got. That was my other half believe it or not I can't stay away from her for to long no matter the bad she has done to me I loved her to much. I felt like I needed her and I was nothing without her but so numb and cold but then there's es my other other half, without them too I'm not shit, my mother suppose to come see me in a month of two since she still had to get settled in her new place I got her she deserved the world and i was going to be the one to give it to her.
My brothers are out in Atlanta doing there own thing, so it's just me out here and Chicago the only one who was stupid enough to stay in there home town but I was scared of leaving everybody left except me, this was all I knew I couldn't imagine living somewhere else but I always wanted to, bout time I was done in my head my blunt was almost gone and dior was going to sleep she only brought her ugly ass over here to get high off contact she think she so slick to be a dog but I know her.
I laid her down on the couch and put my blunt out just as the music changed into jhene I loved her she was a fine ass lil something and I would beat big sean ass just to get a taste of her, she put me in a better mood to cook. I washed my hands and grabbed the rest of the shit out the cabinet and placed it on the counter and 4 jhene songs later I was tipsy off a glass of henny and the food was done except the bread it's in the oven. I do this shit everyday because of my social anxiety I hate being around people and sometimes that takes a toll of me since I own two popular businesses out here that require me to break out of my shell and be around people.
I was knocked out my thoughts as the door bell rung waking dior up as she struggled to get off the couch to go to the door I just yelled at her ass.
"Coming" I said walking towards the door with dior on my ass.
(Rewritten Chapter)
