A'Stari Amerie
2015
48th & West
"Stariiii" My sister moonie dragged as I was walking down the stairs of our small apartment complex we was currently waiting on heaven to come outside, her mother was tripping per usual never wanted her outside past midnight but she would sneak out to chill with me and moonie and sometimes tori if she wasn't sleep.
"What" I sat down on the step with my head in my hands, a couple hours earlier I came out to my mother about my feelings for matoria, she beat me so bad my skin still had fresh open wounds, she told me she wanted to beat the gay out of me and I was confused I didn't know what I really wanted, but I did I wanted matoria.
"I'm sorry this happened to you" she said wrapping her arms around my small frame rubbing my back.
"I just don't understand why she can't accept me and my decisions" I told moonie sobbing into my hands, this hurt more than ever I never once thought my mother would change on me, she was best friend.
"She doesn't have to accept you star, i accept you and I love you" moonie said smiling and giving me a tight hug.
"Hey" we heard coming from the back of the stair well, moonie clutched her gun but slowly relaxed when she seen it was matoria.
"Hi" I whispered not even looking at her, I couldn't face her not right now.
"I'm going to let you to talk, I'm going to be on the corner" moonie said grabbing her gun and drink walking past tori.
I watched moonie the whole way to the end of the complex side walk where she hit the corner, matoria sat beside me on the steps and looked down at her shoes.
"So wassup" she asked turning to me giving me her attention.
"I came out to my mom" I whispered trying to fight my tears, I didn't want her to see me vulnerable.
"Oh" she said turning away from me looking at the street lights that dim the dark street.
"She doesn't accept me and she beat me" I said choking on my tears as I showed her the bruises my mother left on me.
"Well nobody told you to tell her anything" she said looking at me with a disgusted look that made my stomach turn and heart drop.
"What" I asked her looking at her with hurt in my eyes I can't believe she saying this when I only came out because I loved her.
"You should've kept your damn mouth closed and maybe you wouldn't have got your ass beat" she spat back to me shaking her head like I was stupid.
"I can't believe your saying that, I did this for us" I told her wiping the tears that was falling from my eyes before the could drop.
"For us? There isn't a us a'stari you coming out to you mom wouldn't make me want to be in a relationship with you" she said coldly that my heart started to hurt and I couldn't breathe it feel like I was suffocating.
"I told you that you shouldn't have done that, you stupid for believing she could actually love you" it said mocking me.
"I'm sorry A'Stari but i can't deal with you and this bullshit right now" she said standing up dusting her pants off.
"Is she the reason"I asked not even looking at her but keeping my focus straight ahead it would pain me to look at her.
"What" she asked me as if she didn't know what i was talking about, I knew about the other girl she was seeing.
