Habits

Does It Ever Get Better?

A/N: Sorry this chapter came in so late.  I apologize in advance for spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes.  I'm really tired right now and wasn't paying attention to that.  There shouldn't be too many but if there are just ignore them.  I loved writing this chapter and I think it turned out well.  Thanks for reading and enjoy the chapter!

For the first time in years, Sweeney felt fear.  He didn't want to see his father, he didn't want to knock on the door that was in front of him.  Toby saw his hesitation and grabbed his hand causing Sweeney to flinch.  He looked down at the boy who smiled sweetly at him.

"Its okay sir, I can knock if ya want me to."

Sweeney shook his head, breathing in before finally knocking on the door.  It opened after a few long seconds and there in the doorway was James.

"Ben?" He breathed.

"Hello father," Sweeney sighed, avoiding eye contact, "and I no longer go by Ben.  Its Sweeney Todd now and I'm looking for Nellie and my daughter."

"Of course, of course.  Come on in and you son," he said looking down at Toby, "Cornelius brought them by last night."

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Johanna pushed herself further away from Sweeney as he sat on the bed next to Nellie.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I know that's not enough but its true.  Cornelius has obviously been kind to you but he never was to me. I've always hated the bastard, he always hated me.  He continues to take things from me.  I just don't want him to do to you the same thing he did to me.  I love you both to much to see you hurting."

"I just don't see the point of you trying to hurt him," Johanna whispered, "its been years since you've seen him, couldn't you at least try to forgive him?"

"I wish I could Johanna."

Nellie very suddenly piped up, "Johanna dear, can ya leave me and Mista' T alone for a while me and 'im need to talk."

Johanna nodded and stood, looking at the ground as she left.  The door clicked shut and Sweeney opened his mouth to start talking but was interrupted by Nellie's lips.  It was a powerful kiss, one that surprised him.  She pushed him backwards so he was lying down underneath her.  He loved her and wanted the kiss, but his guilt continued to build.  He pushed her away slightly, leading to her sitting up and looking at him confused.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, "I don't know how it happened.  I'm sure you won't forgive me.  I woke up this morning in an alley.  I'd been drunk, it didn't mean anything.  I love you Nell, I regret it all."

"Get to the point Sweeney," she pushed suspiciously.

"I woke up next to a brothel..."

Nellie froze, he didn't.  He couldn't. She looked into his eyes, the guilt he held in his gaze gave her the answer.  He had.

"Sweeney?" She held back tears.

He looked down at his feet, "I'm sorry."

"You were right! Sorry's not enough!  Goddammit Sweeney you've been hurtin' me for years and never did I care.  I didn't want to leave ya last night because I wanted to comfort ya but this?! What the hell were ya thinkin'?"

"I wasn't..." He whispered.

"Ain't that bloody obvious!  I wonder how many other times you were unfaithful.  Whenever we got in an argument did ya go out searchin' for the touch of a woman?  Your a bastard Sweeney Todd! A bloody, lyin' bastard!" With that she left, slamming the door behind her.