Habits

Disappearance

Father, Mrs. Lovett's made everyone breakfast," Johanna's soft voice sounded as she shook Sweeney's shoulder lightly.

Sweeney hadn't actually been asleep of course, he hadn't gotten and full night of sleep since he returned. The dark circles under his eyes had become significantly more noticeable and he was far to tired to do almost anything, not that anyone asked him. For the most part he was ignored. After asking for Johanna and Toby to stay on Eleanore's side the most he got from the two were sympathetic glances and simple conversation.

The days had at least begun to look up. Despite Eleanore being stubborn James was incredibly happy with Sweeneys return. During his first visit he'd been reunited with Lucy's son whom James had named William. Sweeneys father seemed happier than he'd ever been.

"Mr. Todd get ya arse off the couch and move it to the table." Sweeney was pulled back to reality by Eleanore's greatly annoyed voice.

His response was a soft grunt as he got to his feet. He ignored his aching neck and followed Nellie into the dining room. Toby and Johanna were talking but the second the two adults entered the room they went silent.

The tension in the room was enough to make anyone uncomfortable but Sweeney felt the most discomfort. He never realized just how much he longed for attention. How much he would miss Nellie's long, one sided conversations. Sweeney silently took his seat at the table without touching the plate in front of him. His want to break the silence was strong but he had nothing to say. Johanna, as if reading his mind, spoke up.

"Well, its almost December. We should find something to do as a family. Maybe it'll help you and father grow close again."

Nellie nearly choked on her food. Everyone at the table turned to look at her in confusion and she quietly coughed, "Sorry love, but me and your father aren't going to be getting any closer than we are now."

Sweeney simply looked at the ground, it hurt horribly to hear her say those words. "Well yes," Johanna continued, "I think its time you two begin to talk again."

Eleanore shook her head, "Sweeney and I don't need to talk, further more the bastard doesn't even deserve to talk. And we aren't family. Not anymore."

It was too much, Sweeney slammed a fist down on the table drawing everyone's eyes, "You know, I'm tired of this shit! I've tried! So hard to get you to realize I'm sorry! All my effort to appologize and in return I get to hear your insults and everything you hate about me!" Even at the sound of his voice breaking Eleanore's expression didn't change, "I'm going to my fathers."

He stomped out of the room and walked briskly down the hall turning only to the hand on his shoulder. Johanna was looking into his eyes. "Don't go, help her understand. She can't be mad at you for--"

Sweeney cut her off, 'I've tried to make her understand but that woman's too GOD DAMN DIFFICULT!" he raised his voice just loud enough for Nellie to make out his words from the dining room.

Reaching for the doorknob he growled as Johanna yanked on his arm pulling him back. In his anger he turned and pushed her away hard enough for her to fall to the ground. He only stared for a moment before turning and hurrying out the door. What was he doing? He couldn't blame anyone for his stupid mistakes no matter how big or small they were. Everything he'd done was coming back, turning into a burden get wasn't prepared to carry.

Sweeney felt like crying but he held back. Being weak was the one thing he had to avoid right now and yet the idea of letting it all out seemed comforting. He had to get Eleanore to forgive him. He couldn't let this go on, but for now. He needed time alone.

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"...God damn difficult!" Nellie rolled her eyes knowing for certain Sweeney was talking about her.