Krii7y Oneshots :)

(Ventana)

  Nothing kicks the shit out of my procrastinating mood like a Sunday night. The homework around me had somehow doubled over the weekend. No matter how much time I spent trying to grasp the Theory of Relativity for physics, or desperately redoing the conclusion of an essay for the hundredth time, the workload never decreased.

  The fact that my mind was somewhere else only multiplied the stress tenfold. I often caught myself thinking about a stupid boy. A boy who was simultaneously intelligent and also the dumbest person alive. His name is John, and- oh, here I go again.

  Whatever, I needed a break anyway. John was, and still remains to be, the biggest crush I've ever had. Freshman year was when we first met, I think. Really it was all a blur, mostly because I didn't have the most solid start in high school. That's a story for another time. But recently things have gotten... confusing, if you will.

  I never meant for it to happen, but it did. By "it" I mean my first real hookup. My friends had finally dragged me to a lame party. And I could call it lame all I wanted, but looking back on it, I actually did have a good time. It all began when I walked through the damned front door. I almost fainted. It was John's house, I was at a party in John's house. Mind you, we weren't completely unaware of each other, we had talked a bit during class, so he knew who I was. But it all really went south after he pulled me into a game of beer pong with him. The resulting effects of the game was enough to make me do something stupid. And by stupid, I mean really, really stupid.

  Junior year was wild, let me tell you. That wasn't just a standalone event either, because it continued just after senior year started. Over the course of the school year, I had either gone over to his house to "study", or we had simply retreated to John's room whenever he hosted a party, which was quite often.

  To say I was frustrated was an understatement. I was dumb enough to find myself in this impossible situation, and now I can't get out. Every single time we hooked up over the weekend, John would brag that he was so plastered that he didn't even remember what had happened. It continues to break my heart, no mater how many conjugations I memorize for Spanish to distract myself.

  "Who am I kidding?" I mumble, leaning back into my chair. I glide my hands through my hair, scrunching my eyes closed. He could never love me, not when he had the perfect "straight" lifestyle. That infuriated me to no end. The fact that he could spend so much time with me, then flip the switch with ease, simply going back to his idea of normal.

  By normal, I mean spending time with his football friends at the local diner, whistling at girls who are uninterested. Friends which are probably getting stoned right now, making fun of people like me. People like John. Although, he goes along with it to stay under the radar.

  I groan, shoving my unfinished homework to the side of my desk. I should never have let him go. It was a terrible mistake. As much as I disliked him and his way of life, I still needed him in mine. Earlier on in the week, I had given him an ultimatum. This was very uncharacteristic of me, and I would know because I'm very non confrontational. I remember telling him to choose. It was either me, or his mask that he continues to carry with him. I should've known that I had no chance.

I messed up big time, since John hadn't even bothered to contact me. I was just becoming exhausted of his games. I couldn't stand seeing him in the hallways at school, and having to pretend that our relationship never existed. It tore me apart, ripped at my seams, whatever you want to call it, it was happening.

  I sigh heavily, starting to collect the papers I had scattered everywhere. I pick up my pencil, tapping it on my desk impatiently. My homework wasn't going to do itself, despite my wishes.

I stare down at the worksheet in front of me. Physics had not gotten easier, since the start of second term, it had gotten worse. Everything on that paper just looked Greek to me, which is kind of funny when you really think about it.

  My head pounds as I try to think of anything other than terrible jokes like that. My room was eerily quiet, save for the light tapping on my window. I look over to my right, expecting to see a crow or something pecking at the glass. "Holy-" I gasp, clutching a hand to my chest in surprise. It wasn't a bird, rather, it was a person. It was the one person that I didn't want to see, John Keyes. I can feel my face heat up as I approach the window. My pajama bottoms and over sized sweatshirt didn't necessarily scream social contact.

  I lift the window with a bit of a struggle. I had never let anyone into my room through the window, so this was a first. I can hear John huffing curses under his breath as he begins to climb through the window. I watch in stunned silence as he straightens himself out. There he was, rings and all. "What are you doing?" I ask, I sounded breathless, like someone had just knocked the wind out of me. "My parents are right downstairs, you could've-"

  "It's important, Jaren." he replies, placing his hands on my shoulders. I stand in shock as he pulls me in for a hug. His grasp feels comforting and unnerving at the same time, a deadly contradiction if you ask me. "God I've missed you."

  I push him away, crossing my arms like a parent would at their misbehaving child. "That's rich, coming from someone who won't even look me in the eyes half the time." I scoff as he sits on my bed.

  His head lies in his hands, anyone with half a brain could tell that he was ashamed. And for a moment, I felt really bad about scolding him just then. "I'm sorry... I just-" he cuts himself off, letting his hands fall to his sides as he sits up. The dim light from my desk could barely show me the tears on his face. I sigh, uncrossing my arms and sitting down next to him. "I really am sorry. It's so hard... I never meant to hurt you."

  I take his hand in mine, squeezing it softly for reassurance, as this apology was long overdue. "It's- It's fine, John. Really-"

  "Except it's not though!" he blurts, a small sob escaping his lips before he could even stop himself. "I hurt you. Like, really hurt you, and- and I know it doesn't make a difference now but... I love you, Jaren." his speech staggers through the tears. His body heaves with each cry he lets out, and I can see in his eyes that he'd been through hell and back. "I love you so much, and for the longest time I was so ashamed, because- because..."

  "Because I'm a boy?" I smile, a small chuckle escaping me.

  He grins as well, although his eyes remain unchanged. "Well, yeah." he replies, wiping the tears away with his sleeve. He sniffles softly before taking a deep breath. "I didn't want people to know after my Dad found out... It just crushed me to walk past you like it was nothing, not when you meant the world to me."

  "It's alright, John." I whisper, wrapping my arms around his neck as we hugged. It was like I belonged there, in his grasp. We fit together seamlessly, and I never wanted to let him go. "I love you too. I really do."

A shaky breath was all I heard from him as he wrapped his arms around my waist. We stayed like that for quite some time. The beating of John's heart seemed therapeutic to me. "Thank you, Jaren, for giving me another chance." John murmurs, breaking the silence finally. "I really wanted to be able to love you without having to get drunk."

  I laughed at his statement, and so did he. John was never one to be serious all the time. What's life without a little fun? John released me from his grasp and pulled me back onto the bed with him. He kissed me with longing, and with love.

The blankets scattered around us were warm and comfortable. The atmosphere of the room had remarkably improved, and John was making the most of the moment. For a little while, we felt like regular teenagers. I know John felt this way, for he wasn't worrying about someone walking in constantly anymore. Nor was he anxious that I would tell anyone. He was simply enjoying our time together, as was I.

  I giggled as we bumped noses during the exchange, and for just a moment, everything would be alright.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower vibes, anyone?