"You are enough"

Chapter 17

The rays of winter sun fell on Ronnie's face. Shining straight on her still closed eyes they made it unable to sleep. The bright light caused her headache to get worse, but it wasn't only her head that hurt. The girl groaned feeling soreness all over her body. She reached out to the drawer of a night stand and took a sunglasses. The sun stopped being so disturbing as soon as she put them on.
The girl sighed and looked at Ellie. The older woman was still asleep – with her head turned into Ronnie's direction and one of her hands located on the underside of the girl's left breast – right where her heart was. It was the psychiatrist's habit. - after every intensive session – she held the girl like that to feel her heartbeat and make sure she's alright. Ronnie smiled looking at her lover – still drowned in a slumber. She placed her hand over the woman's one and intertwined their fingers together before bringing Ellie's hand to her lips, so that she could kiss the woman's palm.
The psychiatrist shifted and slowly opened her eyes trying to adjust to the light.
"Good morning" she said looking at Ronnie
"Morning" the girl smiled
"Are you going to another party or pretend to be Karl Lagerfeld with those sunglasses?" Ellie joked
"Actually, I'm having a lopsided fight with the sun. You'll know if you'll sleep on this side of the bed"
The psychiatrist laughed
"I think I can help with that" the woman stood up and moved towards the window. She curtained it and smiled as Ronnie sighed with relief
"Than you so much" she took off the sunglasses
"You're welcome, baby" she picked up her shirt from the night before and put it on her bare body
"Where are you going? Come back to bed. I need yours body warmth"
"And I need to take a shower. Do you want to join me?"
"No. I want to sleep" she put on the sunglasses again
"Then sleep, sweetheart" she kissed the girl's forehead and began to pick up their clothes from the floor before disappearing in the bathroom
Ronnie lay on the bed for a while. But even though she was tired, sore and had a hangover – she couldn't sleep. She didn't really know why, but suddenly she became clingy and wanted nothing more than cuddling with Ellie.
The girl got up and put on the black robe. She entered the bathroom quietly and approached her girlfriend – who was standing in front of the mirror completely naked. Ronnie carefully intertwined her fingers around the woman's waist and sighed resting her forehead on Ellie's shoulder. The psychiatrist was higher than Ronnie and it was hard to hug her from behind properly, but the girl didn't care. She placed a gentle kiss to Ellie's soft arm and tightened the embrace
"Did you change your mind?" the doctor asked looking at their reflection in the mirror
"No..."
"So, what's that?" she moved her hands to the girl's still located on her waist and intertwined their fingers together
"Nothing. I just needed a hug"
Ellie carefully escaped from the embrace and turned back, so that she was facing the girl.
"Come here" Ellie smiled fondly
Ronnie moved even closer and let her head rest on the older woman's bare chest.
"You're sore, aren't you?" the psychiatrist brushed her hair
"Yeah" she sighed "But it's okay" the girl was quick to assure knowing how Ellie worries about causing her any sort of pain
"I knew it would end like that"
"I don't regret though. Do you?"
"Only that you're sore"
"I'll be fine, El" she kissed her gently "And I'm sorry that I drank that much. I didn't mean to be so drunk"
"It's okay. I didn't mind" she winked at her
Ronnie chuckled
"You're trembling. You're cold. I'm sorry. You're naked and I make you stay here just like that" she pulled away
"I'm okay" Ellie smiled
"Take the shower and I'll change the bedsheets, cause I made a mess probably"
The psychiatrist looked at her girlfriend lovingly.
"What?" Ronnie asked
"Nothing. Just I love you"
"I love you too" she smiled "So much" she cupped the woman's cheeks and standing on tiptoe she kissed her
"Give me 15 minutes and I'll be right back"
"No need to hurry. Take your time"

Ellie left the bathroom wrapped in her towel. She smiled to herself seeing how the girl cleaned up the whole room and changed the bedding. The psychiatrist moved to the closet and took one of Ronnie's T-shirts. When the woman was fully dressed she headed downstairs and found her girlfriend in the kitchen.
Ronnie was standing next to the kitchen counter. It wasn't hard to notice how tensed her body was and how she was avoiding rapid moves or sitting at all.
"Is this your breakfast?" Ellie frowned at the sight of tub of ice cream that Ronnie was eating
"Yup" she answered licking the spoon "Do You want some?" she offered the spoon with dessert on it
"Sure" she shrugged approaching the girl
Ellie was about taking the spoon into her mouth, but Ronnie was quicker. And the woman could only see how white substance disappears in the girl's mouth.
Ellie looked at her a bit confused. And that's when the girl parted her mouth stuck her tongue out - with the white liquid already melting influenced by her warmth. The psychiatrist smirked knowing it was an invitation for her to try the dessert. She came closer and took Ronnie's jaw into her cool fingers - preventing the girl from moving away. Only then did she leaned in – a sly smile on her face – to capture Ronnie's tongue with her lips. She slid her own tongue into the girl's mouth, which Ronnie eagerly took. Ellie tasted the ice cream, but didn't pull away at once. Her manifestation soon turned into a passionate kiss – interrupted only when they both weren't able to breath.
"Delicious" she smirked
"Are you referring to the ice cream or me?"
"Both I guess" she kissed the girl once again, but this time gently

Ronnie smiled against the other woman's lips.
"You know, maybe we can go for a walk? Some move should help with the sore, don't you think?" Ellie suggested
"Alright. We can try"

They went to the park. Ellie made sure she didn't walk to fast for the girl. The woman was holding her hand all the time and from time to time looked at her to check if it wasn't too much. They didn't talk. They walked almost in complete silence, but it was a good silence. They didn't need words to communicate – look in the eyes or gentle squeeze of a hand was enough. That was until an elder couple passed right next to them. They were holding hands and laughing together. And that made Ronnie stop. Ellie looked at her with worry, the woman was sure that it's caused by the pain, but as she saw the girl's sparkling eyes she knew it was something different. The way in which Ronnie turned back to look at the couple once again was something unusual. But Ellie didn't push. She waited patiently for the girl to be willing to tell her whatever was in her mind at that very moment.
It happened after a few long hours. They were already in their apartment. Ellie was trying to occupy her mind with a book, while Ronnie's simply lying on the couch with her head on the other woman's lap.
"You know" she began "I was thinking..."
"About?" Ellie closed the book
"Remember that couple in the park. I mean those elder people"
"Yes. I remember"
"I think we're going to be such a couple. We'll be going together to the park and hold hands... And laugh just like they did today" she said enthusiastically
"Yeah... actually, you're right. In a few years I'm going to be such an old lady. Maybe I'll need a walker or something like that"
"Oh my God! Here we go again" she said with annoyance and wanted to stand up, but the pain caused her to whimper and came back to the previous position
"What do you mean?"
"That I just told you I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but the only thing you heard was that we're going to be old"
"Because I'm already old. I'm older than you more than people in normal relationships. I could be your mother. And being even older isn't something that I'm looking forward to"
"Do you hear what I'm telling you?!" she sat up despite the pain "I'm not talking about being old. I mean i do, but it's not that. I'm talking about all those fantastic years that we have ahead. Can you imagine it?"
"Yeah... One day I'll need somebody to help me get to the fucking toilet... Sounds amazing"
"You're so annoying!" Ronnie moved to stand up
"I'm just realistic, baby"
"No! You're pessimistic!"
"Don't go mad"
"For fuck's sake! Will you stop that thing with the age difference once and for all?! Who cares? You may need a walker – I don't care, I'll be there. You may need help with getting to the toilet or other things. I don't give a flying fuck! I'll be there! Glad to help you with it, because this is what I mean. This is what I think love is – being with each other no matter what. And before you'll come up with the most dramatic option by yourself let me tell you... Even if we won't be like them... If you for some reason won't be able to go for walks with me I'll bring you that fucking garden to our house. So, whether you'll want it or not we'll have a walks and deep talks such like this every fucking day. So, you had better be aware of it. And calm the fuck down!"
Ellie was speechless. She looked at the girl with tears in her eyes
"But if you don't want to... If you don't want me to do all things that I'm ready to do for you just tell me. Tell me now, cause maybe I'm just wrong about the whole situation and our relationship..."
"No! No, no" Ellie quickly moved towards the girl "I want nothing more. I want it. All of it. I want you. I'm sorry" she began kissing Ronnie all over her face "Tell me more about what you want. I want to know everything"
"You don't"
"I do. I truly do. I guess you already planned everything. Oh God! I love you so much!" she kissed her deeply
"I did" Ronnie chuckled "And I love you too, but please stop that age thing"
"I will. I promise"
"Good" the girl hugged her thigh and kissed gently