Joy of Missing Out

Chapter 1: I can't believe what God has done

It was never a dream of mine to set a kitchen on fire. When mom cooked I stayed out of the room. When mom worked late, my sisters and I always tipped pizza delivery guys extra just to compensate for not wanting to make an effort and prepare a proper meal.

In the X Factor house we had our meals made by professional chefs so we never bothered to think about it. I suppose Liz had heard me confess to Niall I would be a terrible cook so, when I offered to help, she was too afraid to let me do it. Rightfully so, turns out, because I immediately almost spilled oil on her feet and got myself some first-degree burns.

"Maybe you can help me next time?" she tried to take control as I pushed her with my elbow. I carefully flipped the first slice of ham without splashing oil everywhere and the boys cheered me on.

"Go, Waldo!" Liam called me out because of my red and white striped shirt. I liked the pun but it didn't make me like Liam. I couldn't think of a comeback fast so I said nothing.

I really tried to focus on what I was doing. Liz unwillingly let me finish cooking the first few slices. I was impressed with myself, doing the bare minimum. And apparently Harry was too.

"I have to tweet this!" he exclaimed and took a photo of me.

"You didn't have to, but fine. Let them know I am officially a chef now."

"I mean...we'll see how good it is."

"Are you saying there's any chance this won't be excellent, my boy?"

He came closer and complained, but not about what I was making. "I would prefer it with mashed potatoes, though."

"Well, I'm not the chef."

"You literally just said you were."

Liz came back from the dining room to check in on me. "That looks good, Louis. It's barely crisp and perfect for wrapping the turkey. I can't believe you didn't overcook it."
"I probably would have but you came just in time," I said. "So this is what it's supposed to look like. Now I'll know for next time."

"Oh, will there be a next time?" she was distrustful.

"Absolutely! I would change one thing, however. Mashed potatoes on the side sounds real good!"

Harry smiled at me behind Liz. He was still grinning when we were sat next to each other later during dinner. Liz, Helen and Zoey served what I helped make and I got all the compliments. The girls went to their room, Matt helped wash the dishes and the rest of us were unbothered and still joyfully singing Christmas carols the choir sang to us moments before. My mood changed around midnight when almost everybody went to sleep and I was left with my thoughts.

It was less than two weeks before the X Factor final. Being in the final four seemed more nerve wrecking than all the stages before I was put in a band. The uncertainty made me think of what would be of me if One Direction doesn't win or if we split at any time in the future. Liam and I were still frenemies and I thought Niall and Zayn were cool, and I wouldn't miss any of them terribly. But would I be able to go back to normal life as if Harry never happened?

"What's the matter?" Harry asked. We were the only people left in the living room. He sat next to me on the floor. "Did Liz stuff that turkey with your confidence?"

"I suggested mozzarella, but she insisted." Harry's laughter made me laugh. "No, I am just thinking."

"Does it hurt?" Harry joked back. We were equal. "Is that why you're in a bad mood?"

I tried to sound serious, "What happens if we don't win?"

Harry was optimistic, "We stay together."

"And if we fail?"

"Why would we fail? Being put together in a band was just a shortcut. We probably would've met at some point anyway. I learned to believe in destiny these past four months. Sometimes I want us to lose just to see us rise. Don't worry about any of this."

We were clearly not discussing One Direction anymore. He was talking about us and I was enthralled. His remarkable confidence at that moment was more attractive than any of his features. From that night on, he kissed away all my worries and fears. 

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I decided to omit their background story, like how they met, because I think everyone who opts to read this already knows all about that. I don't expect readers from outside our fandom to read it. In future chapters I might need to remind you of some behind the scene happenings which we think are crucial for understanding their relationship, especially from 2014 on, when they kind of stopped interacting as much. 

Originally, the end of this chapter suggested that Louis was so moved by Harry's words that this was when they had their first kiss, but I believe it happened way before November 3 (which is when Harry tweeted about Louis' first cooking experience). I went with that timeline but I just couldn't unsee all the X Factor videos of them before that dinner. It's very clear they started dating very early after meeting. Also, about that photo. I don't think that's when Louis prepared 'chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with homemade mashed potatoes and gravy' (by now, we all probably know this line by heart). The photo was taken in the X Factor house and Louis can be seen wearing this outfit during Christmas dinner. I suppose he could've recycled the outfit but just helping Sainsbury's chefs is more probable, I believe. That's why I imagined this chapter like that - Harry liked the meal so much Louis offered to make it for him some other time. 

Q: Which song is the title of this chapter from and why does it matter?