"kiss me" • stenbrough

Fifteen

    when i got back to school, i was surprised to find out that everybody knew about what happened between richie and i. there were only three people that knew of it happening to begin with: richie, me, and stanley.

    ruling out richie immediately, i knew it had to be stanley. why would richie out himself to the whole school and say that he got rejected by his best friend? his best friend, that he was in love with? if anything he would want to avoid that. it didn't make sense, so i knew it wasn't him. i hadn't told anyone about what went down, so obviously not me. it was possible stan hadn't heard what richie said to me at all, but if the whole school knew, he was the only option left. he was also the most unclear- or, well, secretive.

    sitting down in my third period class, i looked up to see we had a substitute teacher. i loved having subs, it meant we didn't have to do anything, and kids were bound to do stupid things to avoid work. it was kind of a miracle, honestly. at least i thought it was a miracle until richie sat down in front of me, pretending that was his seat so he could turn around and talk to me.

    "hey bill."

    i raised my eyebrows. "hey, i'm s-suh-sorry everyone kn-knuh-knows, but it wasn't me. i puh-pr-promise."

    he gave me a look. "i don't care about that." from the way he was looking at me, you could tell he did, but i wasn't going to fight him on it. "listen, it's okay if you don't like me. i know you like stan, you can be with him. i was just being selfish." richie gave a fake grin, pretending like he'd accepted the fact i didn't like him. why he thought i'd rather have stanley was beyond me. i was hiding it well enough, so why did richie imply he knew? or, had stanley told richie he liked me? threatened him? told him to back off? or did stan lie completely and say the two of us were dating, so richie wouldn't ever try and intervene?

    "y-yuh-you weren't. wuh-wh-wh-why do you think i- i like h-him?" i asked. maybe stanley hadn't threatened him at all, it could be that richie was just making observations, which put me a little at ease.

    richie shrugged. "tell me when you two get together. and if he does anything bad to you, imma beat him. tell him i said that." he spun back around in his seat and faced the front of the classroom, which told me it was the end of the discussion.

    richie left me baffled. how did he come to accept that so quickly? if my crush rejected me i wouldn't show up to a school for a week. maybe he was just resilient.

•

    i was at lunch when it happened, and richie was nowhere to be found. he wasn't at my table, he wasn't at any other table, and i was planning on abandoning my lunch to get up and check the bathrooms when stanley sat down next to me.

    "we need to talk." stanley's tone was a tad dramatic, as if i'd done some horrible thing to him that he could never forgive me for. we met each other's eyes. i immediately felt nervous, was he mad at me? i had more reason to be mad at him, if anything!

    "er- well," he spoke again, changing his tone. this time it was more relaxed. "rather, i need to tell you something."

    i sat up straight, eyes boring into his. "i k-know what you d-duh-did. why the fuck would you do that? n-now eh-ev-everyone knows richie is g-guh-gay, and they all call him a fuh-fag, a-ah-an-and it's your f-fault. he's going to be tuh-tormented for the rest of h-high school, and i'll be his only f-fuh-fucking friend. and h-here you are, sitting down, t-talking to me in a fuh-f-f-fucking ah-ac-accusatory tone, like i was the one who duh-d-did suh-something wrong! s-so come bah-back to me ah-after you apologize to him, and maybe then i'll luh-listen to whatever you have to t-tell me, stan." i honestly couldn't believe what i'd just said, and how confidently i said it, too. but the words were out into the air, tension rising.