Paranoid (mentally ill reader X medic)

Chapter One

    The Toll

   You awoke in the morning to soldier's screaming and pounding at everyone's doors, exhausted. Hardly ever sleeping was starting to get to you, but you still had 3 days until another ceasefire so you had to suck it up. Or at act like it so no one notices.
  
   You went down to join everyone for breakfast after dressing. You caught a few glances from your teammates, probably them noticing the dark bags under your eyes. No one stared quite like medic though. Being the team doctor it was probably just because he knew something was wrong, and it's his job to keep us healthy. He looks worried though.

   "Y/N, could jou accompany me to zhe medical bay before our battle later?" You were surprised he asked. "Uh, sure doc.." you responded, anxiety setting in. Maybe he could help. Maybe if you could risk talking to him at least. You don't think you could handle telling him the full truth. You're crazy and he'd know it. You'd be admitted and fired.

   Breakfast was over and you were silently following behind medic to his lab, anxiously fidgeting with your hands while struggling a bit to walk straight. The sleep deprivation is starting to hit hard. "Care to tell me vhy jou haven't come to me sooner? Don't zhink I haven't noticed zhe bags under jour eyes. They've been getting vorse for veeks now. Do jou ever sleep?" You tense. You didn't think he'd be paying attention. "U-uh.. I get some sleep at night. I think I'm just an insomniac or something." You weren't lying. You just didn't tell him you know why you are. "I see, jou should have come to me. I could have given jou sleeping pills sooner." He spoke while opening the doors to the bay. You panicked a bit. You couldn't take pills, you always just choke and spit up. "I-I can't take pills.." you stuttered, now obviously extremely anxious. "Vell, zhere's liquid too but it doesn't vork as vell." You were too desperate to turn it down. You quickly nodded, nearly knocking yourself over, needing to grip his arm for support. He looked down at you. "Do jou need to sit out for today's battle, Kleiner?" You, more carefully this time, shook your head. "Th-the team needs me, I'll be fine." You've never come to regret words more than those.

   Tiredly sprinting through the battlefield with your amputator, you took out as many Reds/Blus as you could. Your body count did little to help your adrenaline kick in, unlike normal, and your vision started to blur and go dark. You didn't stop. You slashed at body after body, running still. Your feet started to slow and you swayed while you ran. You began blacking out, and didn't even notice the spy behind you. Easy prey, you went down silently. Bleeding onto the ground while completely unconscious.

   The team won, and started heading back in when medic noticed your absence. In a panic, he sprinted back onto the battlefield to search. "Y/N! Vhere are jou? Please come to me mein Wenig Täubchen!" He shouted while searching. It didn't take him too long to discover your unconscious body laying in a pool or your own blood on the pavement. He instantly lifted you carefully and sprinted back to the base, a tear rolling down his worry ridden face while he brought you to the bay. He needed to save you. You were too important to him to lose.

   * * * * * * * *

   Every thing was dark. Cold, wet, and dark. You couldn't move, frozen where you stand. You could hear the steady dripping of it coming close. You've dealt with the monster enough times to know it's him. The hideous, black demon is coming for you. In the darkness, you could finally make out it's silhouette, towering over your shivering form. You opened your mouth to scream, only to be greeted with silence beyond the dripping, oozing, sludge like noises of the demon. A thin, long dripping hand reached out for you. A mere second before it reached, everything went white.

   * * * * * * * *

   You jolted up with a blood curdling scream, nearly pulling out an IV. Medic quickly rushed to your side and pushed you back down on the bed gently before you could pull out your life-line. "Y/N, it vas just a nightmare, jour are safe here. I'm here." He began softly reassuring you. You quietly sobbed, tightly gripping his hand. "I-It almost got me.. it was so close.." You didn't care anymore. Screw your job, you couldn't take the torture. Medic became visibly worried. "Y/N, does zhis happen often? Is zhis vhy you don't sleep?" All you could do was nod while you cried.

   After about 20 minutes of straight crying you could finally calm enough to explain. You told him all about the paranoia. About the monster. The hallucinations. You were desperate and didn't care anymore. All you left out was the depression, suicidal thoughts, and harming. You just wanted to sleep again. Medic listened silently and intently the entire time, taking notes even. When you were done he skimmed through his page and looked back up at you. "I know I'm the team's medic, but jou may be surprised to hear I studied Psychology too. I zhink jou might have psychosis or somezhing like that. I vant to see jou in mein office every evening from now on. Consider me jour new "Psychiatrist" of sorts."

   You began crying again, but this time from joy, and relief. You finally had hope. You finally found help. Not just any help either. Help from the person you cared about the most, although he doesn't know it. While you cried, he held onto your hand and rubbed your back, providing comfort the best he can. You leaned against him, using your opportunity to get close without being obvious. Unbeknownst to you, medic smiled, and enjoyed the moment just as much as you were.
  
Oh? What's this? An author's note? Why yes it is. Look at me here bein an author again finally. I hope you guys enjoy this. I felt I needed some way to express the shit show I've been experiencing mentally so decided to go back to what I used to do. Write. Only now it's actually public and not written in a folder full of lined paper, which is pretty nice. It's an upgrade. Also I dunno how long I'm gonna make this yet.  Guess we'll have to wait and see. I'm hopefully gonna write more stories after this too, maybe one shots, maybe full stories. Probably gonna be mostly X reader. Maybe an oc X character too if I feel like it. I've gone on long enough now though, so imma get out of your hair. Thank you for reading though, the next part should hopefully be out soon too.