sander sides Virgil x Roman

i cant even stand up for myself

At the doctors office...

-anxiety pov-

My arm hurt like hell,the doctors told me they found more pieces of glass in my arm,and that they had to do surgery in about a week or it could damage my veins or any mussels in my arm,I held Roman's hand tightly,and he squeezed my hand,telling me it was okay,I still hadn't talked in a weeks and it had worried him,he and the other sides except for logan,had tried everything to make me laugh and be happy,and talk like I used to,but i was afraid of what might come out of my mouth if i did,he was still abusing me in secret,and if I told anyone even roman,he would hurt me worse,I'm trying my best to hide my bruises,he hasn't noticed them yet and I would like to keep it that way.I'd rather let myself get hurt than anyone else get hurt. I had also started cutting to relive the pain,it was my only escape from the hell that I live in.i hated myself and stopped eating,but it was hell,but over time,my body had grown used to not eating or running on much sleep,I hide it with makup.

After my checkup...

"Baby you alright" roman asked,me,and I nodded,I noticed my arms began bleeding again,I tried to cover it,but roman noticed and pulled over"why are you bleeding"  roman asked,but I didnt say anything until Roman grabbed my wrists making me grit my teeth and tears came to my eyes,my breathing was shallow"baby,please,you need to talk this is serious,why are you bleeding" roman said trying not to cry,roman knew I wasn't gonna talk to he decided to leave me alone,because,he already knew I was stressed,I cried the whole way home and roman comforted me,but focused on the road,once we got home,roman calmed me down first and then we went inside"guys,leave him alone,hes upset,patton,I need you to meet me outside on the porch later"roman said and the other sides backed up,while I ran to the bathroom,I put my arm under the water and hissed in pain,after i cleaned the cuts i bandaged them up and wrapped them up in bandages,once  I did that I cleaned the sink,and pulled down my sleeves.and got out of the bathroom and went into me and Roman's room,he was holding something in his hand crying,it was my knife,roman looked up at me"is this why you arm was bleeding" roman said sternly in tears,Patton came up and saw us,he was mortified"v-virgil" patton stuttered in utter shock and terror"let me see your arms" Roman said getting up and walking over to me dropping the knife on the floor,I shook my head and held my arms close to my chest"v-virgil,let me see your arms"roman said a little louder,and I shakily put my arms down and he took my arms and rolled my sleeves up, and unwrapped the bandages,their were cuts all the way up to my arm,Roman and pattons eyes were wide,tears streaming down their faces"w-who made you do this to yourself" roman said shakily,I still did not speak"please answer me!"roman yelled and that set me into a crying fit fell to my knees crying,saying I'm sorry,my voice was raspy and dry since I hadn't used it or drank any water in a full week"please get up,its not your fault,please" roman said trying to get me up off of the ground,patton tried too,and eventually they got me up and I was lying on the bed.

A day later....

I was so upset about everything that I didnt even wanna go to the movies with them,so I was stuck with Logan he was reminding me of how useless and worthless I was,I began crying when I felt something being pushed into my ass,it was a vibrator"AHHHH!" I said crying out of pain,feeling blood gushing put of my ass"im gonna make you scream,logan said kissing me roughly,I cried and cried,he turned on the vibrator and left it in my ass as the blood stained the sheets,he lifted me out of the bed,and sat me on the floor,blood now staining the floor but soof clearing up as it healed,because I'm a ghoul my wounds can heal and regenerate good as new,he began changing the cheets and then spraying febreeze to clear the blood smell,he placed me back onto the bed"we cant have anyone finding out about our little secret,if you tell,I'm gonna hurt Roman,and whoever gets close to you,then,hurt you even more until you die,you may be a ghoul,but I dosen't mean your indestructible,you can still die and other can around you,even if you get close to someone,if dosen't mean when you get hungry you wont devour them later,so it's probably best if your not around people"logan said and I began to cry and cry,maybe I shouldn't be around people,I shouldn't have friends,I shouldn't even be alive,its all my fault that roman has to leave early from his job just because he wants to make sure I'm not cutting myself again,I began stumbling to the bathroom once logan was gone and I closed and locked the door,I got my knife and began cutting 6 more into my arm,I cried and cried.

This is all my fault

I let this happen

It's because I'm different from humans

Their pretending to love me

I shouldn't be alive

I deserve to die

I stopped at my 16th one,I'm surprised I'm still alive,my entire arm was covered in red and black blood.

I felt sick and dizzy,I cleaned my arm and then the floor and sink and put on a new shirt,and bandaged my arm,once I got out logan pushed me to the floor and turning the vibrator on,i covered my crotch,gritting my teeth"p-please stop-" I tried to plead but he interrupted me"oh higher?"logan said and turned it to the highest and and I began to whimper and cry"take this out and you'll regret it" Logan said after he heard a knock on the door,i stopped crying and tried to look happy,but i couldn't take it anymore and ran into my room and locked the door,I them felt hotness on my cheeks and felt sweaty,I was trying not to even lay a finger on it,roman knocked on the door,I unlocked my door with my magic,and roman came in,he noticed I was crying and ran over to me laid a present down"R-roman,p-please,h-help me!" I said desprately,and roman knew what I was talking about,an turned me over and took put the vibrator,I screamed as he took it put,black and red blood all over it,he cleaned me up and changed the sheets,and stormed downstairs angry"no p-please"i said in a horse voice"but i-" roman said"p-please,s-stay" I said making grabby hands to him,and he giggled and we cuddled,I felt safe in his arms"oh!I have a present for you" roman said and picked me up like a baby careful to not touch my butt"here" roman said happily,closing the door that he left open then picking up the present and giving it to me,I ripped the wrapping paper,and I saw the bear that I've always wanted"you know that youtuber you always loved,aphmau,I got you a hoodie, a cat plush,and the poster"roman said and I hugged him,i never knew someone who would spend their money on me"you didn't really have to-" i said but I was interrupted"baby,dont say that,I would spend every dime,every penny on you" roman reminded my for the 3rd. Time this week.

Hes to sweet for someone like me.....