You Broke Me, You Saved Me (Jalex)

Chapter 3: You are so Misleading

Alex's POV:

"Move, faggot," the guy says to me. I didn't even know his name, I just knew he was there to make my life as miserable as possible. Jack was always here when it happened, since his locker was a few away from mine, but never said anything in either of our defense. He silently watched him bully me.

"I just need to get my stuff from my locker," I say quietly, reaching for my math notebook. It's literally the second week of school and it's already hell.

He pushes me against the lockers so hard that I gasp, hitting my head against the metal. "What did I tell you? Move the hell out of my way. Gay fucks like you don't deserve priority over normal people."

"Cut it out, man," Jack says, shocking both of us. I stare at him, wide-eyed. The guy huffs and walks away, leaving me alone with Jack. God, he was attractive.

"I- uh- you- you didn't have to uh- stick up for me," I say, stammering like the idiot I am.

"Are you okay, Lex?" he asks gently. It felt so good to hear him say my nickname again.

"Yeah, I'm great," I reply sadly. Way to go, Alex. You're so convincing.

"Lex, I-," he pauses, and I look him in the eyes. Fuck, he's hurting. I want to ask him what's wrong, I want to hug him. To have our arms around each other and to hold each other there until we feel okay again. "Not like I give a fuck, anyway," he retorts, walking away.

That wasn't the truth. He cared. I know he did, I know him better than that... right?

-=+=-

Math was awkward. Sitting next to Jack was a nightmare, and he was making a point not to give me any attention.

"Jack?" I ask right after the bell rings. Something in me feels like he meant it when he was concerned earlier.

"What do you want, you faggot piece of shit?" he says sternly. My body freezes in shock. I was definitely wrong about earlier. He's never said that to me before. Did he really feel like that? Is that actually the reason he wanted me to get away from him before high school started? "That's what I thought," he says quickly, walking off so fast it almost looks like a jog.

Jack's POV:

I'm an asshole. I'm a literal asshole. I can't believe I said that to him. Why do I do that? Why am I mean because I can't express how I actually feel? I just want my best friend back. My incredibly hot best friend who I'm still falling for even though I haven't talked to him before today. I walk out of that school as fast as my legs would take me without making it too obvious I'm trying to get away from my mistakes. I make it halfway to my house until I stop speed-walking. When I get home, I go to my room, staring at the wall.

I shower, in hopes to forget about what happened, but it doesn't leave my mind. I just hurt Alex more than I ever dreamed of. I'll never escape the guilt that accumulates in my chest, growing by the second.

I walk into my closet, looking for something to wear. There's only a few things left, since I'm too lazy to do laundry. I grab some sweats and a black sweatshirt, throwing them on. I sit on my bed, putting my earbuds in.

Suddenly, a familiar smell surrounds me. My entire body feels warm, because that scent is the scent I associate with safety. I can't pinpoint what it is, until I really look down and realize what I'm wearing.

I'm wearing the only sweatshirt I had left of Alex's.

I start to take it off, but I stop. I put it back on fully and breathe in. I felt okay for a moment until I remembered it again. The owner of this sweatshirt is the boy I just hurt. I can't take it anymore, so I pick up my phone and open my conversation with Alex. I turned off notifications on our chat, so I didn't see all the messages he'd sent me. The last time I checked the chat was the day before the argument. I never opened it after that- until now.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Jack, please listen!

Please don't push me away

I need you

I love you Jack

I'm so sorry if I did something

You mean everything to me

Don't ignore me

Jack?!

I really fucking need you

I love you so much

I don't wanna go through
freshman year without you

Please Jack :((((

Friday, July 20, 2018

Please tell me this is a dream

Shake me and wake me up

And hug me while I cry

Jack please talk to me

Monday, July 23, 2018

Come back :(

I'll stop texting you if you
text back once

Nvm I'll give you space

Just know I love you more than
life itself. Please come back
soon, I can't live without you

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

You're never coming back

I guess I'll accept that

I never will but hey I'll try

For you

I love you

Forgive me someday

Reading the texts, my eyes tear up. I can't believe how bad I hurt him. I'm so selfish, he deserves a much better friend. Yet, this entire time, he's wanted me. I wanted to push him away, yet he keeps popping up everywhere. I click the screen off and bury my face in Alex's sweatshirt, letting all the emotions come out. I just wanted to hold him close again. I wanted to kiss him, but I'm straight as far as everyone knows. I wanted him. I needed him. Every part of me knew Alex wasn't just a childhood friend I'd get over. He was the one guy I needed more than anything else.

But it was too late. I broke him.

Unless...

Suddenly, I had a plan.