memories ♡ LHJ

; part 19

< a letter >

; lee hyukjae's pov

siwon had left me alone and went outside the house to let me read the folded paper. i took a seat on the sofa, letting out a huge sigh. i unfolded the paper and started to read, "to hyukjae..."

"hyukjae,

hi? gosh i do not know how to begin. maybe you saw this coming? when mina presented us with the plan all of a sudden, i was already freaking out a lot. and when i looked at you i saw how happy you looked with your lips curved into a cute smile. as you assured me, i wanted to speak my mind and say no. i really did. isn't it funny how ever since the day you left me, we never stayed as long as one whole month after we met again in college? there would always be problems. your father. mina. now siwon. these were probably the signs that we were never a good pair. i'm just going away for a while, a long while. would we still meet again? we'll see, i still remember when i saw you again after so long. i had lost all hope and there you were beside me asking for a pen...

i'll miss you."

my cheeks were stained with tears. i already miss her so much. my heart hurt, i was gasping from crying too much. i got up, to pass the letter to siwon.

"she wrote individual paragraphs."

siwon chuckles with tears forming, "she probably would have chose me anyways."

i put my hand out, "we still have each other right?"

he took my hand and slapped it lightly. instead, he gave me a hug. "of course. i'm always here for you."

"you always know how to make me blush." i teased while wiping off my tears. "lets get chicken and beer after you're done." i leave him be to get my car.

by the time i drove up in front of jieun's house. i catch siwon, holding the letter tightly in his hands and resting his head on top of his knees. from his red eyes, it was obvious he had cried a lot as well. i looked at my rear view mirror, i had hung the necklace there immediately after siwon gifted it to us. i open the locket, smiling as i see jieun's face. "please just be safe."

-

"okay okay here we are, your bed." i grunt as i put siwon on his bed. he drank too much and got really drunk. i couldn't bear to leave him alone to wait for a taxi so i sent him home. i hold the lower part of his body now, raising it onto the bed. he suddenly takes off his shirt, "ugh its so hot!" he says drunkenly.

i sit on his bed as i take his shirt stained with beer and chili sauce and throw it to the ground.

"what?!" my eyes widen as siwon's arms wrap around me, i try to get out but he was stronger. "siwon, get off." he whines, "no! i don't want you to leave as well! please don't get married to mina, please.." he snuggles onto my neck. "i won't. i am too always by your side siwon." i stroke his back softly, "i'll get you some water and i'll sleep over for tonight okay?" he cheekily smiles and kisses me for the tenth time. it always was his habit when he got drunk.

i got to the kitchen and poured some water. fortunately, siwon lives alone now so i did not have to sneak him in just like before when we had happy hour to catch up, the day when i met him again after so long.

i returned to his room, and siwon was already sleeping. i switched the lights off and tiptoed to his sofa making sure i was as quiet as possible. i take my phone out, there were unread messages from mina.

mina
you talked to jieun yet?

you
..she ran away

mina
like you did! aw you guys are a match made in heaven boo

you
what the? you were nice just now

mina
so we need another plan. lets just not say i do then

you
haha i believe my father would make it come out of me anyway he will choose to

you
bad idea

mina
yikes so we are getting married?

you
yeah...

mina
damn it.

i looked at our conversation. there really was no way out. i have to get married to someone i'm not in love with and lose someone i'm in love with. how could i live forever with kang mina? even she now had found possibly her own happy ending.

we each have our happy endings waiting, but we won't get it.