Still A Part of Me- Rose Tyler & Doctor Who Fan Fiction

Chapter Six

John wouldn't stop looking at me for the rest of the day after our trip to the Doctor's Tardis. every time i turned i would catch him looking at me with questioning eyes that had me going self concious of my facial expressions. could he see the guilt written on my face? As we ate dinner i finally voiced my complaints.

"is there something the matter John?" i ask while he is taking another fork full of pasta to his mouth.

"what? why would anything be the matter. it's not like we just had a conversation with 'The Doctor'."
he puts special emphasis on the doctor.

"so, he is able to get here now why is that such a big ordeal to you?" 

"it might be because my girlfriend was once desperately in love with him?" he drops his fork into his pasta angrily and stares me down.

"i wouldnt say desperately. anyway that was a long time ago. he is a big part of my past yes, but you are my present and my future John. i love you not him." i reach for his hand resting halfway across the table. thankfully he lets me and calms down some.

"you know i never wanted to see him again. i guess it was just so surprising." he breathes in a sigh, " when do you think he will want to see us again?" 

"i have absolutely no idea." i say truthfully. not knowing when he might pop into our lives again was worse than only me knowing he was back by ten fold. 

that night i recieve a message on my computer from the doctor to meet him at an address i hadn't heard of tomorrow at noon. i lay in bed with the message flashing in my face for several minutes before closing it quickly when John stirrs suddenly in his sleep. i set my laptop on the table and pull my covers close to my chest. instictively John lays his arm over my waist and slowly careses my waistline before falling back asleep. i feel like crying for only being able to think of how the doctor did the same thing when i was in bed with him. John didn't deserve any of this. for me to even take him as my own personal doctor was selfish and heartless. i knew from the beginning i could never stop loving the real doctor. even if John acted exactly the same i would know he was different. John is so much more of a man than the doctor will ever be. so why can't i let him go? 

by the morning i have decided to tell the doctor exactly what needs to happen now. with this new determination in my head i force myself to act natural and happy around John until noon come around and i tell him my friend Katie had asked me to eat lunch with her. John never suspects that i am going to see the doctor.

the walk to the destination is tense and exciting all at the same time. i know every word i am going to say to the doctor. every last word that will tell him it is over. 

the address is actually an ally way where the doctor parked his Tardis. stepping up to the worn blue doors of the call box i knock three hard times. he opens the door immediately and pulls me inside. before i can even make a noise his lips are on me. his toungue exploring my mouth with passion. i pull away and try to catch my breath. 

"no. you can't do that." i tell him holding a hand out in protest.

"why not. you didnt mind last time." he counters.

"Last time i hadn't seen you in years. i was emotional." 

"not just emotional as i recall." his damn smirky face makes me want to punch him.

"it doesn't matter now. i am telling you it has to stop."

"what has to stop? the sex? i can stop the sex." 

"no all of it doctor. the meetings, the messages, the...sex. i am telling you to leave and never come back." i finally get the words out and watch as his smile turns into something resembling grief.

"you don't want to see me again." he says like a final death sentence on my heart.

i look into his eyes filled with wonders of the universe and for a moment question my own words.

"i can't."

"because of John right?" 

"yes, because of John. he deserves so much better and i am going to try and give that to him. i can't do that with you here. he hates you, you know." 

"i thought he would. i am the one you wanted first." a hint of a smile creeps to his face but still those tired eyes peer into my soul.

"it doesn't matter who i wanted first. John is who i want now and forever. you just don't fit into my world anymore doctor." 

"alright, if that is what you truly want." he replies with a whole other demeanor. like he just accepted it and is totally fine. he walks brisquely over to the controls and flips a switch sending the Tardis shaking and blaring with the sounds of departure.

"what are you doing?" i yell above the whirring noises.

"i am taking you back to when we first met!" he laughs manically while turning a few other knobs and switches. 

"why?" i grab for the railing as we take off towards the new destination.

"because i want you to remember."

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sorry it is so short again i am trying my hardest to write longer but my free time is stretched thin right now. i hope you lovelies understand and don't hate me forever for all of these short chapters! anyway i also hope you are liking it so far. i am not extremely sure where i will take this story but i think it will be full of omg's ;) thank you so much for reading commenting voting and just being generally amazing <3