Puzu and his wife were shoveling manure quite peacefully until she threw a full load of it on his face... and that's how it all started.
"Funny!" Cried out Puzu trying to be sarcastic. "Very funny!" He tossed away the shovel and cleaned the manure off his face.
"Very funny indeed!" Yelled back the wife, a broad-shouldered, stout woman.
"What's got into you?" Asked Puzu. He had always been way too patient with her.
"Into me? All over me, you mean!" Barked back the wife who had always been not patient at all. "You know what's all over me? Manure! And it's all over you too. And look, all over the house. All over the place!"
Indeed, Puzu had collected a very impressive pile of manure, it looked like a pyramid. "Business been good." He claimed with a hint of satisfaction.
It was a humble business, kind of a stinky one though, and it required a lot of shoveling but, at least, it made them live. If you are wondering what it was all about, it consisted of going from ranch to ranch to collect the product and then going from farm to farm to sell it as fertilizer, combustible and, in some remote case, as hair-styling mousse.
"I should have married Bonson. Or any other who asked my hand when I was a pretty maid!" Complained the wife.
Wondering if she had ever been a pretty maid, the husband commented: "Bonson, you say? The shoemaker? Seriously? So that your house would always stink of people's feet?"
Puzu's wife broke the shovel in half with her knee. "Want to compare?" She whispered ragefully through her teeth making Puzu swallowing hard; he quietly got back to work.
Before the quarrel could develop into a full-fledged war, as small matters usually do among lovers, a group of knights appeared from the woods. They stopped by the well all clad in their shiny armors and nicely decorated helmets, bearing banners and flags and mesmerizing the two peasants into staring awe.
"My good man!" Called the foremost knight, the captain of the host.
Puzu approached him cautiously, like a wary wild animal. "What can I do for you, knight sir?"
"Oh my!" Cried the armored man. "By a thousand swords and shields forged in the deep bowels of the Earth! What is this smell?"
Puzu bowed as best as he could; it looked very ungracious. "That'd be me, knight sir."
"Three steps back!" Yelled the knight. "Make it five!" It didn't help much but it was better than having him right under the nostrils. "We would like to tap from your well. My men and their horses are thirsty. Would you mind letting us?" Asked the knight with all the good manners.
Puzu felt honored to have such prestigious guests. "Absolutely not, my sir. I'll get you some cups."
"For the realm's sake, no!" Snapped the knight. "We will take care of ourselves. Thank you!"
So, the knights, giggling and chatting, served themselves from the well while Puzu and his wife were still staring at them with big bright eyes, five steps away. They looked like two little children who had just met their favorite movie hero.
"I got to ask, my knight sir, what brings you to Warka? Is it war?" Asked Puzu with concern.
"No such thing." Replied the knight.
Right at that moment the sun disappeared, shadows fell upon the whole world and Puzu screamed calling all the gods by name, announcing the end of times.
"Calm down, my man." Intervened the captain of the knights. "First, keep your distance, thanks. Second, never seen a skyship before?"
Looking up, Puzu realized it was indeed a skyship traveling towards the great city of Warka. He had never seen one so big.
"What's all about?" Asked Puzu's wife.
The knight waved at her in salute. "That is one funny looking man!" He confided to Puzu. "Is he your uncle, or something?"
"Nay, sir. He's my wife!" Explained Puzu. "I mean, she!"
"May demons tear away my eyes!"
The host of knights laughed and whispered one another but Puzu paid them no mind. "Knights and skyships. What's going on?" Asked the humble manure-dealer.
"You guys, truly don't know?" Said the captain in a rhetorical tone. "Your prince, Taddus, is to get married to princess Farfalla of Kush. A big tournament has been organized for the day of today. Knights and lords are to joust and compete. It's all in honor of the good old times, you know, the prize is but recognition. Decades ago, the hand of the princess would have been granted to the winner! Ah, those heroic times! But this is just a festival, a celebration although I know prince Taddus is a renown mighty warrior. I don't believe myself skillful enough to take him out in a fair fight."
We are not sure why that knight had to talk so much, maybe the journey had been weary and long and he just needed a chat. What we know for sure is that Puzu didn't hear a word of it. He was all caught up in his thoughts.
After the knights bid farewell and left, Puzu's wife went back to her daily life-complaints.
"Hold on a sec!" Yelled Puzu. "I'll tell you what, I'm going!"
"Going where, to bury yourself? About time!" Joked the wife.
"No, to the wedding!" Claimed Puzu with determination.
"You got to be kidding me. What do you plan to do?"
"Just be there. We are respectable citizens of this city like everyone else. I am a business owner, I contribute!"
"Poor husband, you're serious, you truly wish to go. They're going to kick you away. Probably they'll beat you too. Such fun." She thought it over for a second. "Maybe they'll hang you. I can't miss that. I want to come but first, let me take a shower!" Puzu's wife went away all joyful, singing and hopping like a child with candies.
"Well, I'll see you later. I'm going right now. Bye." With that, Puzu was off.
A/N:
Hi there,
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Thank you!
See you in the next Part.
