The ogre, about to crack open Puzu's skull, stopped and took in a deep breath from its large nostrils.
"Atrocious!" It cried out loud. "Atrocious! You smell no human. You smell... smell like..." The ogre's eyes opened wide as in wonder and awe. A second later it fell on its knees. "Fauno!"
Puzu coughed to clear his voice. "My name is..."
"Fauno!" Interrupted him the ogre with insistence. "King of the forest! Smell don't lie!"
The puny manure-dealer picked it up fast, he had to if he wanted to survive. "Yes, that's right! I'm Fabio, king of the forest!"
"Fauno!" Roared the beast.
"Of course, I am him, I mean, it is I. Nice to meet you, ehm, Ogre." Replied Puzu.
"Ah, Fairy King, you came to share meal? Anna smelled human stench and heard human noise from up the slope. Anna could get some human to eat!"
"Your name is Anna?" Asked Puzu. "Never mind that. As a matter of fact, I have an idea."
Puzu came out of the bushes and, covered as he was in dirt and vegetation, sat on a big rock nearby the pond. Anna sat next to him, legs crossed. "Listen, Anna the Ogre, hear me out. I, King Paulo."
"Fauno!" Roared again the ogre.
"Of course, I meant that. So, I, lord of oaks and hollies, beeches and willows and all animals that live in the wild, have a task for you!"
"What's a task?" Asked the clueless Anna.
Fauno, alias Puzu, explained his plan to the creature, three times because Anna had quite some difficulties. First, she didn't really chew well the human speech and often enquired Fauno about it. "Why speak like human, why no speak animal?"
"I'm the Horned God, alright? I do the heck I like!" Because Fauno is a gentle god but question not his authority.
Second, the ogre was not accustomed to battle strategies and Puzu's plan was a sophisticated stratagem that resolved around assaulting the brigands and rescuing the prince so that they could go assaulting the wizard and rescuing the princess.
One more time, Puzu explained his delicate plan: "We go up the slope. You bash the humans. Don't touch the guy in shiny armor. You may eat anyone you like."
Anna nodded but it wasn't a confident nod. It was more something that said: "Listen, pal, I didn't get a hair of what you're saying but let's go. I'll improve and do my best."
Anna roared, "yeah, bash." That was enough, Puzu nodded back and led the way up the slope.
As usual, things don't go as planned. Of the brigands there was not even the scent. They had left the crime scene.
"No bash?" Asked Anna.
"No bash." Replied Puzu.
"Why Fauno sad? No humans to eat? Anna did no good?"
"No, Anna, you're a good ogre. One of those humans was my frie... pet. My human-pet." Puzu, in the vestige of Fauno, the Horned God, hesitated in admitting he had a human friend least to reveal his true nature to the ogre and be eaten.
"What's pet?"
"Well, it's like taking a little baby cub away from his mama and then you keep it at your place."
"Why do such cruel thing?" The ogre shook her head with disappointment and disdain.
"Because the pet will love you," explained the Fairy King. "And you will feed it. It will keep you warm when is cold and you can shush it off the couch when you're not in the mood."
"Sounds like fun. Anna wants pet!"
"If we find those humans, I claim the shiny one but you can certainly keep the rest of them."
On that agreement, Anna revealed that she could smell the human party from there. She said humans reek the area and their smell never truly wash away. They leave a trail of scent just like snails leave behind a trail of slime.
"Humans smell filthy, not like good Fauno. Fauno smells atrocious but kinda natural." Admitted the creature.
"Thank you, Anna. It's nice to be appreciated from time to time."
And so, Puzu, alias Fauno, followed the ogre through the forest until they reached the brigands' camp. It was settled in an opening among the trees and consisted in nothing else than a tent and a campfire. "There's some smell in the air." Announced a brigand stirring up his head.
"What's it like?" Asked, with a satisfied smile, the one that was cooking beans on the fire.
"Like dung, I think."
Waving a white handkerchief, the satisfied smile left the cook's face to find a better life elsewhere, determined to don't come back anymore.
Taddus was near the fire, all tied up and naked. And when we say naked, we mean completely naked, like butt-out naked.
Ogre and man (also lord of the woods), stayed hidden within the vegetation while deciding on the best way to proceed.
"Here's the plan, Anna." Began Puzu. "You go in and bash them all but the nude dude. That's my pet, alright?"
"Enough with plan!" Roared Anna. "Anna confused! Just go in and bash, ok?"
Before Puzu could agree, the ogre charged in.
It was a great ruckus. People got bashed on the head by a huge club, that kind of bash that leaves a perennial trauma from which one would never entirely recover.
Three minutes later, after all the screams and the yells, the growls and the roars, the forest got quiet again.
Anna sat down hugging tight her two new pets who much like preferred to be eaten alive than to be stuck under the ogre's armpit or to be smashed against her hairy, sweaty chest.
Puzu ran to Taddus and untied the ropes.
"You came back to save me?" Asked the prince in disbelief.
"Yeah. What have they done to you?" Puzu feared the worse. You never know what goes through the minds of these rogues.
Taddus shook his head. "They took my armor."
"They stripped off your clothes!" Yelled Puzu in panic.
"What? No, I had no clothes." Reassured him the prince. "The armor is already kind of hot, you know. I don't wear clothes beneath it."
Puzu didn't feel the necessity to acknowledge the fact and mentally moved on. "Wasn't three of them brigands? Where's the third?"
"He ran off with my armor."
"Well, a strong heart is all the armor we need. Right?" Puzu smiled at his friend and the friend smiled back at him saying: "that's right. That and a good armor."
Although there was some clothing gear around the camp, Taddus did not accept to put on humble peasant robes and decided to proceed as he was, nude, until a suitable outfit had been found.
Saying farewell to Anna, the duo left the camp. One hero, full covered in dirt and leaves and sticks (and manure) while the other hero, warped in his own personal suit of flesh and bones (and muscles).
A/N: Hi there, if you liked this chapter and if I made you laugh, giggle or just chuckle a bit, please consider giving it a vote.Thank you!See you in the next Part.
