Brushstrokes (Reddie AU)

Fuckface

Stan ends up falling me again a few minutes later. I answer, but I'm hesitant to do so. I'm scared of change. This is what Eddie wanted, wasn't it? For me to be outed so that he didn't have to hide? I bet he's glad.

"Richie, are you okay?" Stan asks me. I can hear nervousness in his voice. What is he afraid of? That I'm going to catch feelings or that he'll get bullied for even being my friend? "Rich, please talk to me. Whether or not it's true doesn't matter. Fucking Bowers posted it, and he had no right to. I'm trying to get it taken down right now."

I sigh. Maybe he wasn't going to be an asshole about it. "It's true, you know." I still can't say those words. Even after everything that's happened between us I still can't say those two words.

"I've known for a while," he admits. This is news to me. "I wasn't going to push it. I was waiting until you were comfortable. But this...this is something horrible." I don't know how to react. He always knew. I guess it's sweet that he never said a word about it.

"Eddie is my boyfriend," I say. Eddie looks over at this and sticks his tongue out. "Yeah, he's madly in love with me." Now he's upset. He reaches over and tries to grab the phone. When I move away from his reach, he tackles me onto the floor and scrambles for the phone. He gets to it before I do.

"I'm not in love with him!" He shouts, looking at me with a smirk. Then Eddie grind childishly. "Oh hi Stan...no I didn't know it was you...why would I..? Yeah, sure." He hands it back over to me.

"Richie, listen to me," Stan sighs. "You're going to face hell. And it's going to be shit. And I know you didn't chose for this and that's the worst part. But hey. You'll never be alone."

"Thank you. Um...are you gay?" I ask abruptly. After what Eddie said in the car the other day, it was a good enough time to ask about it.

"No," he answers with a smirk. "What makes you say that? It's the shirt, isn't it? The one my mom bought me last Christmas. The one with the cats."

I laugh. It's such a silly thing. Why would that be the reason? No, of course not. And I can't tell him it's because Eddie and I were talking behind his back. Luckily, I'm a wonderful liar, so coming up with a little fib isn't hard at all. "Nah, just wondering. Because you're being so understanding about this."

He chuckles in response. "Yeah, that just means I'm not an asshole. And we already know that."

"Goodbye Stan," I grin.

"Bye." He hangs up and I let out a heavy sigh. None of it feels real yet. I know it will when the morning rolls around, but sitting on the floor in the bedroom with Eddie makes it seem like a distant worry.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

School the next day is like I'm on a whole other planet. There are eyes glued to me. The worst classes are the ones I have without Eddie. Anytime someone whispers to a friend I think it's about me. People stare for just a moment longer than they usually do. It's petrifying. When painting finally rolls around I'm so grateful just to see him.

"Eds?" I ask as I enter. And there he is. His hair is fluffy and his smile is huge. I walk over and sit beside him.

"How has it been?" He asks and takes my hand. I don't mind it. After everything, it's nice to feel his touch. And it's not like anything bad can come from it now. The worst has already occurred.

"I've never missed someone as much as I missed you today," I admit. I watch him, the way his face lights up when he hears that. He's fucking adorable. "I feel like I'm the center of attention, only none of the attention is wanted and all of it makes me feel like shit."

He brushes a hand over my cheek. "That's cute. Now, write your comedy. I need to work." He gathers his materials and I get my notebook. As I write down some basic ideas, I watch him from the corner of my eye. Everything he does is artistic and beautiful. I could watch him for the rest of the day and never get bored. But the time passes quickly, probably because I'm so fucking lost in my own thoughts. And before I really can grasp what's happening, class is over and we are being forced to move on. Now all I look forward to is the end of the day. So we can go back to my place.

Before I get to my last class, Bowers finds me in the hall. It's pretty obvious he has been looking for me. So when he actually finds me, he's got this stupidly proud look on his face. It makes me sick.

"Heard that you are a little queer, with that short kid," he smirks.

I shrug it off. I can't hide anymore. Oh, how I wish I could. "Are you sad, Henry? Sorry fuckface, but I'm taken." I like it. I don't sound like a complete coward.

"Fuck you!" He shouts. "You disgust me."

I walk away and get out of there as quick as I can. Jesus, he hates me even more now. I don't know whether it scares me or empowers me to finally shut him down for good.

"Richie!" Stan finds me in the hallway. "Jesus, first run in with Bowers, huh? He's been giving me looks all day."

"I don't doubt it," I reply with a shrug.

"Hey, you and Eddie should stop by tonight. I mean, if you don't have plans..." he looks away sheepishly and I chuckle.

"We'll be there, bitch."