Promises are meant to be broken

broken yet holding on

After my father died I felt nothing but pain. I cry my self to sleep hoping that all of this is just a damn nightmare but no. Every morning as the sun rises calling my eyes to open I don't find him there. I used to him coming into my room waking me up to school I used to his breakfast every day I used to him brushing my long hair I used to his love.

But now it's all gone forever. He was everything to me along with my sister after Thomas went back to London and after my mom went to live with my brother in Germany to start a new life without my dad.

I want someone to love me just like my dad and I've no doubt that Thomas doesn't, But truth is that I'm done I'm done fighting.
I have nothing and by all mean I mean nothing, no money, no food, no where to go, no family and no place to call home.

I've no power left to survive this journey to survive this life. So what's the point on keeping holding on to a story without a happy ending.
Life is a game you can't play even if you can you won't win even if you were a pro because this is no fairy tale nor legend or Disney movie.

After I left my house the place I grew up in for 17 years I made my way to the unknown I didn't know where to go, i could possibly call my mom or my brother, Ashley and even Thomas but I can't If i call Ashley and tell her about my situation she would great me and take me in without thinking but i don't wanna be a bother same goes for Tom he's working and busy with his life he's a celebrity after all I don't want him to worry about me and my sister and screw his life if that makes sense and for my mom she's in another country she still doesn't have enough money to get her own apartment how she can afford 2 tickets even if she could how are we gonna live there I can't even imagine.

I walked and walked until we arrived to an abandoned building we walked in scanning the place no one seemed to be here and to be honest its kind creepy. I pulled my sister closer to me so she will relax I can see how terrified and confused she is.

"Sis I'm scared please I wanna go home" Lilly begged me tears in her eyes I felt bad for her, my heart is already broken yet it shattered even more. "I know..I know I wanna go home too...just trust me" I said looking into her black eyes, she nodded slowly and squeezed my hand.

We walked upstairs and made it to the roof I stared at the black sky and the little diamonds in the sky shining the space.
I left my suitcase beside the door and made my way to the edge holding Lilly's hand.

My heart beating faster as I take every step everything went in a slow motion, for a second I didn't know what was I doing, was it the right thing to do? Should I give up?
Thoughts were blocking my mind making me not realize that I was already at the edge one more step just one more step and I'll forget how to breathe one more step and I'll never wake up again just one more, one step more----

"KAO!! YOU'LL FALL" Lilly yelled driving me back to reality, I looked down and saw the street, it was dark and horrifying from up here, my eyes widened at the sight I felt like there's no oxygen to get in my system I felt my lungs shrinking in less than a second I fell.

I fell backwards, I hit the cold ground breathing heavily, I couldn't keep up I didn't know what I was doing I couldn't even control my actions. "KAORI KAORI ARE YOU OK?" Lilly snapped me again to reality and when I did I started to breathe normally and relax. I pulled my little sister that had tears in her eyes to a tight embrace and played with her hair calming her down.

I tried to held all my mix emotions inside but I couldn't I had to free them i had to get them out of my chest. I broke down into an ocean of tears I haven't cried that much ever not even in my dad's funeral. Soon enough I calmed down, I wiped my tears then got up I held Lilly's hand and went downstairs with my suitcase.

All of this was stupid how could I possibly end my life and my sister's just because I was depressed. My dad didn't teach me how to live without him but he trained me to be a warrior that always gets up no matter what he raised me to be a strong woman.

He wouldn't be happy if I did what I was about to do so for him I'll get up and for my sister I'll fight and for me I'll survive and for Thomas I'll never give up.

I called Ashley and as usual she picked up so damn quickly. "Hey Ash..I need your help"