Strained

Chapter Seventeen

I woke up to a text from Jamie. It had been three days since our last date. I still had butterflies from seeing his dorm for the first time. It was more than just a date, it was seeing where he slept. It was seeing his bed. Until we got there, I hadn't realized I would be in the same room as his bed.

As I stared at his bed, I felt my face flush. Why hadn't I realized I would be here -- two feet from the place he slept? I felt nervous, but kind of excited. Was I ready to take the next step with Jamie? I liked the slow pace we were taking, but that didn't stop my urges or my hormones. I smoothed at my skirt. It was weird, wearing a jean skirt: not really my style, but I was trying to set a good first impression for Harvard.

I tugged at the hem of my sweater. It was actually one of my mom's and it felt itchy. It was one she had worn for work. I bet she never paired it with a jean mini-skirt, but I had to admit it looked good together. Plus, it showed off my long legs. Unfortunately, none of my tights were clean, so they were bare. The day was overcast, so I was freezing.

"Yeah, so here's the room. It's pretty small--

"I love it," I finished for him.

It was pretty basic, one large window on the far wall. There was a cherry-oak desk with a lush black chair in front of the window. Then, his bed took up the wall to my right. Thankfully, his room had its own bathroom, which was on the left side. There was a mirror hanging on the door, which was slightly ajar. His bed was standard with a dark red comforter. It looked oddly inviting.

His dorm did have a great view. The window looked out onto the Common Ground area, which was littered with trees, shrubs, and flowers. I recognized it instantly from our video chats. This was where he spent most of his time. It made me feel closer to him for some reason. It was only noon, but the campus was full of students and faculty. Hanging above Jamie's bed was a painting I had drawn for him. It was a reenactment of our date at the gazebo.

"You hung it up!" I exclaimed, pointing at the painting. He blushed.

"Uh, yeah of course," he looked so cute when he was being bashful. "So uh did you want to watch a movie or something?" I raised an eyebrow. I didn't see a TV anywhere.

"Sure, but where?" I looked around, making sure I hadn't missed anything.

"Oh, on my laptop. Sorry, it's kinda small." He was referring to the laptop but my eyes widened. Then, I felt my own face flush with embarrassment. Why was my head in the gutter?

"Gotcha sounds good." I tried to smile, but my face was stuck on awkward. He ran his fingers through his hair, which was already touseled. He was nervous too, which helped calm my own nerves. He walked to his desk to retrieve the laptop then launched himself on the bed. He made it look so casual. I tried to sit on the edge of the bed, but my skirt kept riding up my legs, showing a little too much.

I tried to be subtle when I pulled my skirt an inch lower. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. We spent the next fifteen minutes trying to figure out something to watch. Jamie and I had the opposite taste in movies. I liked scary movies and he wanted to watch a comedy. We finally settled on Scary Movie 2, which had enough gore for me and enough jokes for him. He set the laptop at the edge of the bed and laid back.

I thought about laying down next to him, but that seemed too bold. This was Jamie, but this was a new place.

"You can lay down if you want, but I get it," he shrugged. He was trying to make this as casual as possible for me. I sighed in relief and laid down next to him. We had done this at my house a million times, but this felt different. It was our first time alone in a bedroom. At my house, there was always the off chance of my mom walking in. There were boundaries, but here, no one was going to walk in on us.