Strained

Chapter Thirty-Five

"Because It's what I deserve," he was lucid. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. It was both eerie and interesting to see him somewhat normal. 

"No, no one deserves that," I shook my head. There was no way he deserved to die. Clay was totally harmless. 

"I do, Corn, there's something you don't know about me." He frowned down at his hands. 

"You don't have to explain, I trust you. I know and it seems silly because we've only just met, but I know you. I really do. I see the good in you and the others can't because they aren't looking. If they just spend some time with you, they'd see." I gave him a kind smile. He was just misunderstood. He was spending too much time with Daniel who was getting him to believe he was evil. It just wasn't the truth.

I was convinced.

"I think I should tell you about my past," he said this slowly with much deliberation. 

I rolled my lips, trying to decide if I wanted to know. 

"There's nothing to know," I said defiantly. "The past is just that: the past. Everyone has done things that they regret. I've done things I regret," I thought about Mir's baby. I wasn't a saint -- no one truly was. Life happens and sometimes you have to make some hard decisions. Sometimes, you make the right choice and life prevail, but sometimes you mess up and have to deal with the consequences.

I started to walk to my house again. He followed after. 

"Daniel knows and so do a lot of the Cursed Ones. I'm sure Daniel's told some of your friends and that's why they hate me too. I think you should know," he paused. "You should know who you're calling friend," this was the longest I had seen him lucid. Usually, he would have those darty-eyes and disappeared. It was comforting having him lucid. It made me feel safer somehow.

I shook my head.

"No, I don't--

"You do." His tone quieted the whole forest. "Do you hear that?" He never broke eye contact. The hairs on the back of my neck slowly started to raise. I tried to dismiss my fear. "It's because of me. Even something as simple as my words stop nature in its tracks. Do you know any creature that isn't a predator that has that effect? I'm a predator, you should be afraid -- like your friends are. They're smart, they know what I am." He looked away, ashamed of his own species. 

I felt for him. I knew what it was like not to be normal. It sucked -- feeling like a freak in your own skin. I reached forward, taking his hand and gently squeezed it. My touch scared him. It was obvious he wasn't used to be comforted. I wondered the last time someone loved him -- not sexually, but just loved him unconditionally. Then, I remembered his mother had been Rose Hathway, so no-no, he had never been loved unconditionally.

"I don't believe that and they're not all smart." I tried to lighten the mood a degree. He looked at our hands clasped together then into my eyes.

"I wish I would have met you before," his eyes solemn. "Then, maybe this decision might be hard to make." He squeezed my hand, then let go with a sigh.

"If for even a second, you're having second thoughts then don't do this." I felt tears slid down my cheek. I hadn't even noticed I had been crying. 

He started pacing and I could see his lucidness was waning. I'll admit, it did make me nervous thinking about him shifting back into his rantings. I was alone in the woods with a temperamental Cursed One. Who knew what could happen. I trusted him, I hadn't lied about that.

"These aren't second thoughts. These are my failed attempts to explain to you why I must do this," he gestured to the space around him. He was growing more and more upset. I could see this. I opened my mouth to try and convince him he didn't need to this, but he appeared in front of me -- our noses touching. It spooked the words right out of me. "I'm a monster," his breath hot against me.