How You Get the Girl

Wow, I Always Wanted to Have a Heart to Heart With My Boyfriends Crazy Ex

"Are you coming on Saturday?" Kenzie asked me. It was the day after Ben and I had gotten caught in the Lost and Found room. Kenzie and I were the first two in computer class.

"To what?" I inquired.

"To the state fencing meet," she told me.

My heart sank. I had been trying not to dwell on it, but the meet was tomorrow and Ben had not asked me to come. 

 It's okay, I thought. It's not like his ex-girlfriend would be there. Oh wait, she would.  

I would not be a crazy stalker girlfriend, I told myself.  I needed to trust Ben. Girls who were jealous of their boyfriend's ex were pathetic. I would not be one of those pathetic girls. I would just take the high road and sulk by myself all weekend.

"Ben hasn't said anything to me," I said, trying to sound calm and unconcerned. He and Clare were over. I was totally secure in my relationship. That was why I was digging my fingernails into my palm. Totally secure.

"Oh," Kenzie looked uncomfortable. "I thought he would have. I guess maybe . . ." but she was saved from having to continue by several other students coming in.

I pretended to be very focused on my computer screen.

Ben came in and we started working on our project. He said nothing about Saturday. Not that he needed to invite me to his fencing meet. I was totally cool with him not wanting me there.  Really I was.  

I stewed. I almost said something a couple of times but I lost my nerve. 

"I guess you'll be busy all weekend with your fencing meet," I finally said, trying not to sound sullen. It was as close to a hint as I was going to let myself get.

But Ben saw through me. He answered, "Do you want my meet this weekend? Kenzie told me you were upset I hadn't asked you to come."

"I'm not upset," I said.

"She just texted me telling me I was an idiot not to ask you before today," he answered.

"You don't have to ask me. You are allowed to do things on your own without me," I told him, definitely not sounding sulky.

"I want you to come. I was going to ask you to come today," he said.

"Were you really going to ask me or are you only doing it now because Kenzie told you to?" I questioned. I did not want him to feel like he had to ask me to come. He wasn't obligated to do it. He could have his own life. It was fine. I was fine.

"I was really going to ask you. I didn't think I had to do it weeks in advance. I thought you knew I would want you there and that I was just letting you know where and when it was," he said.

Was he kidding? Were all-boys dense or just this one? I could not help myself. It might have been better to have been mature and just accepted that he wanted me there. Instead, I said, "Seriously? No, I did not know you wanted me to come. I can't read your mind. Words Ben. I need actual words to know what you are thinking."

Ben blinked at me, obviously surprised that I was upset. "I want you to come. I'm sorry I didn't ask you earlier. I pretty much always want you there."

He was very good at saying the right thing after messing up. It would just be nice if he said the right thing in the first place. "Then I'll come," I told him feeling better. He did want me there. He did not want me out of the way so he could see Clare. I had been thinking like a crazy person. I needed to stop it. It was just hard after the whole drama of her showing up at his house and announcing she was his girlfriend but I needed to trust Ben.  I could do trust.