Reason To Doubt

2. Old Habits

Giselle Rose

Not a word was whispered between J and I as he drove us back to my place.

I didn't know what to say and I'm sure he had a lot to say once Ju was out of ear's reach.

Who, on the other hand had a ton to talk about from the tour of his new school.

"Lil me, how you feeling bout the new school? You like it?" J looked in the review mirror at him.

"It's big!" Ju shouted excitedly.

"I get to play baseball too! I like the colorful room." He referred to the lounge.

"You gotta make new friends now." I caught J glancing at me.

That was a shot and I knew it.

"But I already have friends back at home." Ju responded.

"Yeah but they at ya old school Ju." He explained to him.

"So...they're not my friends anymore?" This conversation was too much for me but I couldn't show that I was bothered.

"Yeah, they are." J laughed.

"You jus' gotta see them when you come back home." He cleared it up for him.

Home.

A place I thought I'd never leave and yet here I am building a new one in Chicago.

"Are you going back tonight?" Ju asked him while I silently wished that he was.

It was just my luck that we still had routines and family traditions in place.

School shopping, school prepping, baseball tryouts, all of it was done together.

"Not tonight, in like 2 days...but I'a be back again to take you to school." We always dropped him off on his first day.

"I wish you didn't have to leave." Ju pouted, pushing himself back in his seat.

"Me too Lil Me, me too." J's voice dropped as he focused back on the road.

"Daddy! Game Stop! You forgot didn't you? You said 'Game Stop got mad games'." He mocked; putting on his father's best voice.

I couldn't stay silent on that one, a genuine laugh escaping my lips.

He was definitely his father's twin.

The way that he walked, the faces he made, his height, mannerisms, all of it was J'aire. It was amazing to see but sometimes hard to watch, especially now.

Nevertheless, it made me smile.

"I'ain' forget I was waitin' on you." J claimed.

"Can I get a shooting game?" Ju asked.

"No." I answered quickly.

"But mommy, it's just a game. Right, Big Me?" He turned to his father for help.

"We talked bout that Ju...no guns." J reminded him.