the monster in i

4

rainne carter was her name, my beautiful mother. she was my rock, my idol, and despite what my father told me behind her back, didn't change the love i had for her.

love meant you accepted the person wholly and trusted them without the slightest waver for you could. they had nothing to hide.

until they do.

you see, loving someone comes at a price. you think you want a person now? that lovely and pathetic thought will go away soon. you'll chase after he or she and you'll possibly get them or the opposite effect– you'll cry and fuss when they reject you. do some harm to yourself by drinking, eating, fucking.

but what happens if you actually manage to catch them and he/she develops feelings for you too?

i couldn't tell you the answer.

the people i've met all have the same fucking opinions covering the topic of love. they would always describe it as happily ever after but i got news for you princess: it isn't always as it seems.

it's not stargazing into your partner's eyes at every giving moment and calling each other beautiful inside and out. it's not smiling all the time and being excited when you find out your woman is pregnant with your child.

it's actually a shit show. always ends in one way– someone crying.

maybe i'm being too hard on myself. maybe i was raised to come out the same way my parents thought of the world. a cruel, greedy, money loving world.

there are three things that people want in this universe: safety, success, and sex. not in that order.

i won't explain right now what i mean. i'll leave you to think over and digest what i've said.

some of you will disagree and fuck, i value people's opinions, i really do, but come to me with a better outlook on life and love and maybe we'll have a nice chat about it along the line.

back to the real story...

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