the monster in i

5

"you're turning out just like her you know," he said to me. "any kind of cock that was available, she'd ride it."

my fathers hand around my arm was like a snake choking its prey. tightening every moment i tried moving. it hurt of course but i didn't show the pain. i was too stubborn for that; plus with his past abuse i had basically a high tolerance for it.

"i forbid you to turn out that way." my fathers eyes flashed angrily with a tint of something foreign that i couldn't decipher before he pulled me away, dragging me forcibly to where he parked the car.

• • •

my father was named after his grandpa wade. apparently the story his family drew up for him went sideways and now he's the family disappointment. i've never found out the reasons why but it's a very interesting case that i'm curious about. he was private with his life.

wade manhandled me all the way inside the one story house and slammed the front door shut, pushing me instantly onto the hardwood floor.

"get up, winter," he snarled, still obviously livid with me.

i laughed under my breath, rubbing my bruised bicep and stood up. at this height (5"6) wade easily had 5 inches on me.

"what're you laughing about, girl?" he had his hands on hips now, looking down at me with that crazy look in his eyes.

i smiled a little and replied with, "it's nothing, father."

wades lips stretched up into a smirk. "well if it's nothing then it's time for your punishment for your little act earlier."

"act?" i said in disbelief. i stabbed my pointer finger into his chest. "you were the one who pushed me into the pool."

he let out a loud, belly grumbling laugh and put out his hands innocently. "oh please, daughter, it was perfectly fine. in fact, that's the best way to learn. nothing wrong with what i did."

i rolled my eyes, knowing it would only further anger him more and that's secretly what i wanted.

"me neither then," i shrugged.

"no no. what you did was waaay worse, darling." he started unbuckling his belt with quick fingers, anxious and excited to give me what i deserved. "you turned out so much like your mother that it disgusts me to the core."

i smiled widely and threw my head back, laughing. perhaps i was a psycho, wanting pain. i wanted to feel the belt hit and slash at my skin for something i didn't even do but he doesn't know that. i've grown so used it, the abuse, these past years that i tend to crave just a little more everyday.

"now," he said, the belt looped firmly from his left hand, "take off your pants."

• • •

blood and water dripped in unison as i washed myself.

wade had grown tired after 15 mins of punishing me. he had torn and marked the skin of my inner thighs as a reminder to never let anyone or anything penetrate me.

of all the things he's done, my father has never touched me inappropriately. he was absolutely against that one. he also told me to not eat dinner for my "sluttish" ways but if i was hungry, then goddamnit i'll fucking eat something.

the cold water cooled down the pain a little but i didn't mind. i had cream that i'll put on the slashes after my shower so i wouldn't have to penguin walk badly at school on monday.

i calmly finished washing up after 2 mins, stepping out of the shower and sighed deeply as the even colder air sent a breeze through my body.

my father liked to keep the house a cool 64 degrees (celsius) so i was very used to this temperature. besides i like to think of myself as cold blooded. anyways, it was perfect.

i swiped my palm across the mirror, clearing any fog and looked at my reflection.

hazel eyes gazed back at me. dark auburn hair, an oval shape face, and a long nose. my cheeks were red despite the shower and my lips were curled into a side smirk as i closed my eyes and re-thought the belt hitting me again.

i was a sadist at this point, that i know. i was in a state of bliss at this moment.

i knew my mother was a whore or an exotic dancer per se. i didn't hold it against her though. i'm sure she was a good person despite her bad job. so the punishment tonight was to teach me a lesson to not be like her.

but then again, i thought as i opened my eyes, i wasn't one to listen to my father.