Chapter 2

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I want a poem
I can grow old in. I want a poem I can die in .

-Eavan Boland , "A woman painted on a leaf "









I'm drowing

I'm falling

I'm tearing apart

Don't care

Won't care

My heart wants to stop

My mind pushes

Cuz angels can fly

Just two more steps

And I'll be too far .

Beatrice sat on the edge of the terrace at her apartment . She just needed to slide front and fall ....fall down from the 8 storyed building .

Her new wrist engravings burned as drops of blood leaked out from the tissue that were placed on them to  prevent blood flow , but everyone knows they won't help .

Her eyes were puffy and red from crying . Her nails were uneven and bitten down just like her unusual anxiety bit down her self esteem .

Beatrices mother doesn't care if she's the brightest student at school . It's all about alcohol  for her . Other students only care about having grades like Beatrice but she isn't the perfect daughter for her mom. She  doesn't even know why does the company still have her mother  as a journalist. That one can't even speak properly.  But she did once , when everything was okay . But since her father realised that his Beatrice isn't really his . He left them. Forever .

Her cuts have drowned her in eternal pain . She drowns in the river of sorrow . To pained to reach for the crystal of hope . Her lungs are filled with water , burning her seneses, she's envious of those floating , those swimming , those surviving . She hates the young girl inviting ...happier ones to enjoy the calming touch of her crystal .

She only thinks , never believes. Only thinks about achieving, only
thinks about touching the calming crystal . She never realises thinking always leads her to think negative ....Her tears swell her eyes .

Again.

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