Love Hurts

Chapter 14

- Christina's POV -

The next few days were quiet. Nothing said. Nothing done. My mom, Rachel and Mikey were still staying at my place. I didn't quite understand why though. Don't get me wrong I love them, but after all that happened I expected them to be out of there in a flash.

After my conversation with Jordan I spent a lot of my time thinking. I didn't talk much and most of the time I was off in my own world. Leaving Jordan's that day made me begin to rethink every decision I'd made over the past couple of years. It's not that I was unhappy with the choices I'd made, but I wasn't exactly thrilled with them either. Anyway, I didn't notice how introverted I was actually being until Rachel came to talk to me.

I was curled up in a chair and staring blankly ahead while out on one of the balconies extending from one of the many rooms in my house. Without a word Rachel came and sat down next to me. I didn't acknowledge her, partly because I hoped she'd leave me alone but mostly because I didn't notice her for the whole first minute she was there. I just wanted space and even in a house as big as mine I still felt like I was crammed into a small room with a hundred other people.

"You need to talk to someone about how you're feeling, Christina." She said softly.

Her words shook me out of my day dream as I snapped my head towards her. "I'm feeling fine." I replied.

"No, you're not. Everyone can clearly see that you're not fine, yet you still won't talk to anyone. You can tell me anything, Christina. We are sisters after all."

I stared at her for a moment as she looked at me with pleading eyes. I broke eye contact quickly and sighed.

"I just-" I began, "I'm just not sure if I made the right decision. . .With Jordan, I mean."

"What did you say to him at his house?" She asked.

"I told him that I love him but we can't be together."

"Why?"

"I don't know, Rach." I sighed. "I just can't take the risk with Jordan. I mean, what if it doesn't work out with him again? I've got a great thing with Matt and I love him, I don't want to throw all of that away when there's a probable chance that Jordan and I split up. I don't think I'd be able to handle something like that again."

"Since when have you ever played it safe? You're a risk taker, Chrissy. It's what you do."

"What if I don't want to take risks anymore? What if playing it safe is the only way for me to be happy?"

"Have you taken a look at yourself lately? 'Cause I have, and to me you don't seem very happy at all."

----

All of us, apart from Matt, were sitting at the table eating our dinner. There was a lot of conversation happening between the four other people at the table, but being my usual stupid self, I was too caught up in my love life to participate or to pay any attention for that matter.

However, I wasn't that preoccupied to not notice the knock on the door when it came.

"I'll get it." I mumbled, sliding out of my chair.

When I opened the door I froze.

"I'm sorry to show up unannounced but I just really want- need to talk to you." Jordan said with about as much confidence as I was displaying. Zero.

"I can't talk to you." I said softly, almost as a whisper.

"Why not?"

Because it hurts. "Because I don't want to."

"You told me you loved me over and over again. . .but you say it's not enough, that you can't risk it. I don't understand what any of it means, Christina." He stated, sounding broken.

"I told you I don't want to talk to you." I said, keeping my eyes locked to the ground.

"Please."

"No." I replied, before shutting the door, leaving Jordan standing on the other side.

My breath became heavy as my chest tightened. Tears began pooling in my eyes as I clenched my mouth shut as tight as possible, trying my hardest not to let out the loud sob that threatened to escape my lips.

I sunk down to the ground in front of the door and held my head in my hands. I stayed there for a good five minutes trying to compose myself enough to head back to the dinner table. Eventually I did, and then walked back into the dining room.

"Who was it?" Mom asked, as I sat down at my seat.

"Nobody." I replied.

"I'm pretty sure that there was somebody at the door." Mikey said.

"I think I might actually just head up stairs, I'm not feeling to great." I said, before pushing my chair back and walking up to my room.

----

"Christina, wake up! We have an issue!" Rachel said, shaking me awake.

"Noooooo." I groaned. "Just let me sleep."

"I'm serious, Christina. This is really bad."

"What kind of bad?" I asked, lifting my head up slowly from my pillow.

"Just comes downstairs." She said, before walking out.

I obeyed her orders and followed her downstairs into the living room, where my mom, Matt and Mikey all sat. I knew right then and there that it must've been bad. I mean, this is the first time since the party that Matt and my mother have even been in the same room.

"What?" I asked.

"Someone leaked a video to the press. . ." Rachel trailed off.

"What kind of video?" I asked.

"A video of your engagement party. Someone filmed the argument."

"W-What did they get on tape?" I asked.

"Christina. . .they got everything."