My Step Brother

The Past

Dear Diary,
I swear, I've never felt this way about a boy before.
Harry is an ass, yes, but I really really like him.
At night I lay in bed and just think about our kiss the other night. For that moment, I felt like things were actually falling into place and that Holmes Chapel wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And so far, it's been good. I like Anne and Gemma and Gary and his friends. And yes, of course Harry. But I still have hate for him and he does for me, too. I wish I didn't hate him like I do, but if he wasn't such a douche I know things would be so different between us. I wish they were, all I want is to be with him. Yet he told me that he's falling for me, I still feel like I'm invisible to him  and I still feel like I'm just mindless dreaming.
How do you like someone so much that you've just met?
Harry of course, barged in my room without knocking. I was actually writing in my journal about him when he ran in. I shoved the journal underneath my pillow. "Harry, next time knock. One of these days, I'll be changing or something." Harry had a huge grin on his face after I said that. "That is a risk I'm willing to take."
I rolled my eyes and got off my bed and folded my arms across my chest. "Okay perv, what do you want?"
"I don't know. Talk?" He shrugged.
"About?"
He sat on my bed and leaned back on his elbows. "You. Me. I don't know."
"Like, about my life?" I asked. I was kind of confused, because he never really showed an intrest in my life before, why all of a sudden? I mean, yes, he did say he was falling for me a little bit, but no one has really asked about my life.

I looked over at him and watched as he smiled and patted the spot next to him. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the bed and sat down.
"Soo, what do you want to know?" I asked.
"What has happened to your mum?"
That was a question I was never asked before. People never really asked, because I didn't really let people know. I just shoved the memories of her in the back of my mind and kept them there.
I sighed and started twiddling my thumbs. "Well, my mom left my dad when I was 4. And obviously, dumped me on him and just left. I don't remember why, but I do remember her yelling at him everynight and blaming things on him. She didn't like to know something was her fault when it really was. She didn't tell me she was leaving...I just woke up one morning and she wasn't there. I remember my dad telling me she was gone and how hard it was for him to explain to a 4 year old that her mom didn't love or care about her."
"Have you seen or heard from her since she left?" Harry asked
"Uhm, no. I thought by now she'd at least try to get ahold of me and want to meet me now or something, but she hasn't. I realized a long time ago that she doesn't care about anyone but herself. And honestly, I'm okay with that. I mean, I've been 15 years without a mom and I've turned out alright, I guess."
He nodded his head. "You turned out just fine. And honestly, who cares about her? She's the one who's missing out on knowing you and being a part of your life."
"Yeah." I wiped a tear away. "I guess."
I wanted to ask about his dad, but I didn't want to sound nosey. I would of asked Anne, but I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it and again, didn't want to seem nosey. But, I mean, I really wanted to know.
"Harry, if--if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your dad?"
Harry's face went from smiling to frowning in seconds.
"I--you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. I mean--"
"No, it's ok. I can tell you. Uhm, well, I should mention that before he left, I never really cried that much as a kid, most kids do at the age of 7, but not me for some reason. But the day my dad sat me and my sister down to tell us he was leaving, I don't believe I've ever cried so hard in my life. I remember Gemma and I sitting on the floor crying as my mum and dad sat on the couch trying to tell us that my dad wouldn't be leaving right away, I mean for two years before he left we were struggling. My dad didn't just up and leave, him and my mum had made the decision that they should split, because it was for the best. I've always been close to my dad, he's been there for me, but I can honestly say that the guy I am today isn't because of him, it's because of my mum. Now, the kid I was when we were all still together, yes, that was my dad. He taught me everything as I went on. I see him every couple weeks, I know he's busy and stuff. But, yeah, he's still in my life and him and my mum get along very well, I guess for mine and Gemma sake."
I always thought my story was sad and I had it bad. I mean, Harry's dad is still here for him, unlike my low life mom. But it was still sad picturing a 7 year old Harry in hysteria. It was agony to think about.
"I'm--I'm sorry, Harry." I said with a cracked voice. I wanted to cry for him right now.
"Hey, it's not your fault he left. It's no one's."
He was right, and it wasn't my fault my mom left and it wasn't my dad's either. It was hers. She could of at least been like Harry's dad and still tried to get to know her own kid. But I'm sure she's forgotten all about me, it didn't really bother me if she has or not. Because I never talked about her until now.

Harry got up.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"Downstairs."
What? I really just told him something no one, but my dad knows. Now he's just going to just leave and act like we didn't just share our past together?
"Fine. Whatever."
He left and shut the door.
Once I knew he was gone and downstairs, I took out my journal from underneath my pillow.
Okay, maybe, just maybe, I really like him.
No, I think I maybe be falling for him.
No, I have fallen him.
I was falling for my step brother hard and there was no way to fight these feelings I was starting to feel for him.
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Hey guys! :D
Me again.
Just wanted to ask you guys a favor. I am wondering if you guys will help me out, I am debating on a good song for Rene'e and Harry's realationship. It's between "Everything Will Be Alright" By The Killers, "Look After You" by The Fray or "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry, if you guys would help me out and listen to them and decide what you think is the best, it would help. I want to make a video and put it on YouTube with whichever song fits their relationship best. :)

Thank you. (: