My Step Brother

With Or Without You

I woke up to my phone ringing...AGAIN. Harry has called me 30 times through the night and hasn't stopped. I grabbed the baby monitor and went downstairs and saw Gemma and Anne making pancakes together. The radio was on and the song "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. was playing. I sat down at the table and listened to the saddest song on this planet continue to play. Anne was singing along with the singer. "Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries. Everybody hurts sometimes." I glared up at her and watched her smile as she poured syrup on the pancakes. At least she was smiling, that made me pretty darn happy seeing her finally smiling. Then Gemma came over and brought the butter over and began singing the next verse. Tears were forming in my eyes "Well, everybody hurts sometimes. Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes. And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on." I let my tears go "Guys! Stop! Please!" I pleaded as my hands flew up to my face and I covered my tearful eyes. Anne looked at Gemma and then ran over to me. "Honey, I am so sorry! I forgot...I mean, I didn't forget, it's just- oh, I'm so sorry." I lifted my head back up and looked at her with red puffy watery eyes and shrugged. "It's okay..." I said wiping my tears off my cheeks "I don't miss him, but then again, I do, Anne." I said through my tears. "I know, sweetie." She said as she rubbed my back and comforted me. I loved Anne, she was the mother I never had. That sounds weird, because I am married to her son, unfortunately. But I never had a mom so caring and payed any attention to me, I felt loved by the only real mother figure I ever had in my life. She treated me as if I was her own child, like Harry or Gemma was. She supported me like a mother would, she took me shopping, she listened to me, like a mother. And she knew I didn't have a mother ever and she was being the women she didn't have to be for me. There was a song by Brad Paisley that reminded me of her so much and made me cry when I listened to it, it was called 'He Didn't Have To Be' I loved her. She kissed my forehead and pushed my hair out of my eyes that was stuck to my cheeks from the tears I was crying. She got up and continued to make pancakes. I sighed when I heard Jake start crying. I got up and went upstairs.

I looked over Jake's crib and picked him up. "Hi, baby!" I said with a smile on my face as I rocked him back and forth. "Did you sleep well, honey?" He continued to cry. My phone started ringing and I answered it with the one free hand I had, I didn't even check the Caller ID. "Hello?" I answered. "Rene'e..." I heard Harry's British accent on the other end. I rolled my eyes and wanted to hang up. "What? What do you want that you needed to call me 31 freaking times!?" I said over Jacob's loud cries. He sighed before he began talking again "I want you back, baby...please. Will you believe me?" He pleaded. "No" I didn't hesitate to answer that one. He sniffled "Well, can you do me a favor? Just a tiny one." I thought about it for a minute "That depends, what is it?" I asked. "Listen to a song for me." I shook my head even though he couldn't see it. "No, I'm not listening to one of your pathetic songs you've been listening to since I left. Sorry..." He scoffed "Rene'e please..." I pouted my lips as I thought about it again. "Fine, if I do, will you stop calling me?" "Yes, just please!" He almost hesitated, but caught himself. "Fine". I kind of regretted agreeing. "What's it called?" He didn't say anything for a moment, but I heard him unfold a piece of paper and he read it off. "With Or Without You by U2" Great. "Fine, I will listen to it later." and I hung up before he could say anything else. I didn't want to listen to this song, because I kind of missed him...but I'm not going back to him.

I walked downstairs to feed Jacob his bottle. When I made it I walked over to the couch and fed him. While I was, I went to YouTube and typed in the song Harry wanted me to listen to.
...

I listened to it, and I must say, I feel no differently for him. Not one bit. I tossed my phone to the side and finished feeding Jake and then burped him. I had to get ready for my date tonight. I asked Gemma if she could watch Jake as I showered for tonight, she said yes. I took a shower and got out and walked to my closet and picked out my American flag tank top and then found my blue short shorts and tucked in my tank top. I then found my red Vans and put them on. i straightened my hair and left it down. I out on my make up and then looked at ,myself in the mirror. I looked kind of hipster-ish...but I guess that's what you get for living with Harry for awhile. I put on body spray and grabbed my purse and swung it over my shoulder. I went to give Jake a kiss and left.
I met Ian at the movie theater and we watched a movie that was over 2 hours long. It kind of bored me half to death, but I honestly wouldn't tell him that. He did however put his arm around me. He acted like we never even broke up, it was kind of weird for me. But I allowed it anyway. So I went along with it, I rested my head on his shoulder and I could feel him smile and his heart start racing. As did mine. It's been forever since we've been this way...not since like, freshmen year...that seemed forever ago.

...

On our way back to Ian's hotel room I turned on the radio. Ian listened to the old time rock station, like 80's music. i smiled as I remembered my dad listening to this kind of music. I missed him so much, it almost hurt. Ian and I were laughing as we listened to the music that was being played. I then heard a beat that was familiar, I looked down at the radio and heard the first verse, "See the stone set in your eyes, see the throne twist in your side. I'll wait for you. Slide of hand and twist of fate, on a bed of nails she makes me wait. And I wait without you, with or without you, with or without you..." That was the song Harry had me listen to just earlier...I just stared at the radio not saying a word. I must of looked stupid in front of Ian. But I then just shook it off and turned the station.

...

Ian and I walked in the hotel room and hit the bed. Ian was on top of me kissing me intensely, his tongue asking for an entrance as it slid over my bottom lip.  Before I knew it, I was on top of him with my shirt off and was in my bra. I felt Ian's hands slide up my backside and then back down to my hips and stayed there. "We should of done this years ago, baby. Then maybe your son would be mine and not his." He smirked as he rolled me back over and planted soft kisses on my tummy and then up to my breasts. My fingers were tangled in his hair and pulling a bit. I then brought him up kissing him on the mouth. His hands slid down and unbuttoned my shorts, I let Ian go that far. My hands were on both side of his face waiting for his fingers to enter me. When I felt it, I gasped and moaned. "Ian..." I breathed. Ian looked at me as he bit his lip. That was a turn on for me and was adding to my excitement. I smiled as I closed my eyes and instantly saw Harry when I did. I shot them back open and looked at Ian making sure it was him. "What?" Ian asked as he stopped. I didn't tell him, it would of ruined the mood. "Uh, nothing. Just- just keep going." I said as I laid back down and continued to enjoy it. I moaned again as his fingers entered me again and I bit down on my bottom lip and breathed out heavily. I closed my eyes enjoying him and his moans he was making for me as well. But when I closed my eyes, Harry was there again. This time, I didn't lean up and make Ian stop. I just laid there trying to think of Ian instead of Harry. But no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn't go away. And I seemed to be getting more aroused as I was thinking of Harry and not Ian. I bit down on my lip harder, not letting the moans for Harry come out as I was thinking of him doing this to me. But I honestly couldn't help myself and let one out anyway. I opened my eyes and saw Ian continuing to pleasure me. I leaned up grabbing Ian's hand and pushing it away. "Ian, I-" was all I said as I looked down. I saw Ian shake his head from the side "It's him...right?" I closed my eyes and nodded.I grabbed my shirt and put it back on. It was that stupid song. But then a thought came across my mind, what if it was a sign from daddy? What if daddy made that happen? He did want me with Ian, because he knew I was taken care of. I got up and so did Ian. "I'm sorry." I said fighting the tears. Ian's hand found my face and he stared at me before smiling a bit "I can't fight fate." He said stroking my face. He looked down and let go "Go." He said.

...

I arrived at mine and Harry's house and ran in the pouring rain to the door and knocked. I noticed that "With Or Without You" was on and up pretty loud. Harry didn't answer the door, so I ran over to the window and tapped on it. Harry looked over and got up off the couch and walked over to the window. "Rene'e?..." He asked shocked to see me outside in the rain, soaking wet. I pointed to the door and we both ran to it. He opened it and stared at me. "What are you doing here?" He asked. I didn't answer as I pulled him out in the rain with me and jumped in his arms and watched the rain hit his curls and drench them. "What do you think, Styles?" I smirked and then pulled him in and kissed him gently as the rain fell upon us.