My Step Brother

Goodbye To You

Harry suggested I go to the doctor after what happened to me during the birth. Darcy was a very healthy baby, she was going to be okay. Nothing made me happier than knowing that my babies were healthy and happy.

I sat in the waiting room by myself as I flipped through a old magazine. I wasn't nervous about being here, I knew it was a good idea to come here since what happened. I didn't want anything to happen to me, and I knew I'll have to bring Darcy, too, sometimes. She was healthy, but still, just to be safe.
The nurse came in. "Mrs. Styles?" I looked up at the smiling lady and I put the magazine back down on the table next to me and got up and walked to the door leading to the back. "Rene'e?" the smiling lady asked. I nodded and replied with a yes. She nodded and said "Right this way, dear." I followed the lady back to the room. She had taken my height and weight and all that.

Of course, I was back right where I've been the last couple times. It was getting kind of old. I sighed and waited for my doctor. Again, I'm surprised I still had patience!

My doctor came in and smiled and nodded. "Trayka." he said softly. I smiled back and nodded also. "Hello." he walked over to his stool and opened my file and read through it. He then closed it and he wasn't smiling anymore, his face had me worried. "Is- is something wrong?" I asked him. I was by this time, scared too death. He sighed and scooted closer to me. Something was wrong and I knew whatever it was, it was hard for him to tell me.

...

I arrived home and wiped the tears out of my eyes and got out of my car. I walked inside and saw Harry holding Darcy and then saw Jake sitting next to him talking to him as he watched Darcy sleep. I bit my lip and held in my tears as I looked at them. Harry looked up at me and smiled, but when he saw that I was keeping my tears in, his smile disappeared. "Babe, you okay?" he asked. Jake looked up when he heard Harry speak to me. "Muma!" Jake said with excitement. I smiled and sniffled "Hi, baby." I tried to keep calm. Harry watched me as he got up and put Darcy in her play pin and told Jake to watch her and to turn on the TV and watch cartoons. We walked up the stairs and went to our room and shut the door behind us. Harry held me close and I let my tears finally go. "What's wrong? What happened, love?" he asked. I looked up at him with tear soaked eyes. "It's bad news." I replied. Harry gripped my hand. "What is it? We'll get through it..." he said looking down at me. I shook my head and sniffled "We won't. We can't." I heard Harry gulp and start to say something when I said, "I'm dying, Harry." I looked away to avoid the look on his face. I couldn't bear seeing the look on it,, because I knew it was hurt and I was hurting enough and I didn't want to see my husband, the man I loved more than anything upset and hurt.

...

2 days later:

I laid in bed in my sweat pants and Harry's shirt. I was scared and I didn't like knowing I was dying and I couldn't accept it at all. I was hoping I'd wake up any moment and it would all be a bad dream.
Something went wrong during the birth, we knew that. But something in my body changed after that. I wouldn't eat, and I fell into a state of depression somehow. Which I don't know why, because I felt pretty happy, I guess deep down I wasn't, deep deep down that I didn't even know it.
I laid in bed and thought about how I was going to tell my children that I won't be around much longer. Jake won't understand, he's not old enough to. Darcy won't even know me and that killed me knowing she won't. But they'll have Harry and I know that they will be taken care of.

Harry brought Jake and Darcy in our room. Harry placed Darcy in my arms and picked up Jake and placed him on the bed. Jake stared at me and I could tell he was already confused on why his mommy couldn't get out of bed and play with him or spend time with him. I looked away and looked at Darc who was sleeping. Her eyelids fluttered as she was sleeping peacefully and dreaming. I smiled as I watched them flutter. I could feel Jake still staring at me. "Muma, are you otay?" I looked up as Darcy's hand wrapped around my finger. I nodded and smiled keeping tears inside my eyes. "Yeah, baby. I'm okay." I didn't want to lie to my son, but I couldn't tell him I was dying. "but you have to promise me that whatever happens, you have to take care of your sissy. Can you do that?" I asked. He nodded and looked down at his hands that were placed on his lap. "Are you sick?" he asked me, I nodded and looked away again. "Will you get better?" I shrugged and replied, "I don't know, sweetie. We have to see. But I love you, okay? No matter what! I love you and your sister very much!"

Harry took Jake and Darcy out of the room and came back in and sat next to me and held my hand. I heard him start crying and so did I as I heard it. He shook his head as he stared down at our intertwined fingers. "You were the strongest girl I knew, Rene'e. I don't know how this happened to you, baby..." his voice cracked as he cried harder. I sniffled and wiped my nose with my other arm. He thought I was strong, and I wasn't. "I'm watching you slowly die and take your last breaths." he sniffled. I looked up at Harry. "We're all dying, baby, I just got pushed to the head of the line. We can't control this. It's god's plan for us." I said. He got up and let go of my hand. He was angry. "God?! God, Rene'e?! You think this is his plan? Why would he want to take you away from your family? From me? I've lost you once, why do I have to lose you again?!" he hit the wall and I jumped. "Harry, stop! Please! There is nothing you can do, baby. Please...." I pleaded him to stop. He leaned his head against the wall and cried into his arms and I began to cry harder. "Stop looking at it as I'm leaving, Harry." I sobbed. "How am I supposed to look at it? You are leaving! You won't be here!!" I sniffled and looked ahead and then back at Harry. I wish he didn't think that way. But he's upset and I know that. "I'll be here, baby. In your guys' hearts, you know that." He turned around and looked at me. I've never see Harry cry like this. I wiped mine "I'll always love you, Harry. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me." He cried harder and walked over to me and hugged me. I held onto him and felt his back rise as he cried harder and harder. I rubbed his back and cried into his shoulder. "I want you to find someone else when I'm gone, baby." I wanted Harry to love again. I didn't want him to be lonely. I couldn't bear someone being in my kids life and taking my place, but they needed someone who knows what to do.
I didn't want to leave...