Chance
After a long day of food and just chilling around town and taking lani to her favorite spiritual spot to get crystals and a new dream catcher, we finally go home. Once we get there I make a big pot of spaghetti while she watches a movie in her room.
Lately something has been weighing heavy on me and I know I have to tell her. But it's so hard to drop a bomb on someone when you're worried about their mental and emotions health. I wish their wasn't a bomb but it needs to be done. Can't lose her how I have in the past.
I finish the food and call her down to eat. She smiles once she sees what I made and sits down to bust down on the plate.
After a while of just eating I clear my throat.
"What." She says as she slurps up a noodle. Adorable.
"I gotta talk to you about something serious."
"Okay. Is it about you or me?"
"Me. Look baby just listen." I sigh and get ready to let it all out. "After me and you broke up when I was being the worst nigga ever I dated someone else. It was around the time I was high off my ass and calling girls your name."
She nods to let me know she's following along so I continue.
"Ight so she knew I was in love with someone else and she hated my drug use so she left me. All good until we became fuck buddies and one night I show up off my ass. So from what she told me,I get there and we fuck then she kicks me out because I said your name again. Then we never spoke again."
"Alright. So what's the issue?"
"Well the night you got attacked at our concert she came. While I was waiting to see you she showed up at my dressing room door and we talked. She's pregnant, and pretty sure it's mine. She was 7 months at that time so by now she's 8 and ready to pop. I didn't know how to tell you because it was such a sensitive time for you. There was no telling how you'd react so I waited but I didn't wanna wait too long. So I'm telling you now and baby I'm gonna be there for my daughter."
"It's a girl."
"Yeah, her name is gonna be Kensli." I sigh. "I don't wanna force you or try to force you into anything, and I understand if you're angry. But this is something incredibly important to me. So if you want us to give each other space then ok. I'll take my shit and go, if you're down to be around I'd love that. But this is your call."
Her eyelashes flutter and she looks away.
"I don't know Chance. I mean I'm not mad, I can't be. This wasn't during me so how could I be? But this is major. Please give me a chance to think about it."
"Of course."
We continue to eat then we finish. She goes up to bed and I tuck her in like a baby then start to leave.
"Where are you going?"
"My place. You said you need to think and I don't wanna be a distraction. I'll be back baby I promise."
With that I leave her house and go in home. I lay in bed and dream about a family with me, Keh, and Kensli.
