Fool's Paradise

Chapter3: Allison's Rose

1967:
Allison sat rubbing her hand across the empty space on her abdomen that once held life. It had been eight months since her mother had left her on the doorstep of the convent. She had been stupid. She never should have got herself mixed up with James and his friends. They had never been her friends. James had gotten her drunk at Macey's party and had his way. He wouldn't talk to her after that weekend. She tried so hard to make boys like her even if she didn't really like them back. She tried time after time to have feelings that others would think were normal. She was tired of doing what others wanted. She was out of here as soon as she turned 18. California, that was where she would go. She had heard people were more accepting of her kind there. Not everyone believed in free love. There was also the possibility of returning to England where she had grown up. Allison watched a car pull up the long paved drive to the convent. The back door of the car opened as it came to a stop. The most striking blonde girl emerged. She watched as the two parental figures guided her toward the front door below. Allison's heartbeat quickened. She shook her head. No, she thought. She couldn't let herself feel anything. Girls only came to this place for one reason. They had to have shamed their families in some way. That would mean this new girl clearly would have to like boys, maybe. Allison crept toward the stairs so she could eavesdrop. The reverend mother was talking with the parents. The girl was standing in the foyer staring at the artwork on the wall. She looked so lost and afraid. Allison wanted to go to her and say something to comfort her. The parents disappeared down the hall and motioned for her to follow. Allison went back to her room. She threw herself on her bed. Her heart was racing so hard she thought it might explode. " Oh, please not again. I can't."
Two weeks passed and Allison was unable to avoid the gorgeous new girl any longer. She ran right into her nearly knocking her over. "Oh my gosh! I am so terribly sorry. Hi, my name is Rose. Rose Steinmarch." The blonde girl offered her delicate hand. Allison grabbed her hand and shook it vigorously. "Hiya. Allison Carlisle. I have been meaning to introduce myself. I have just been busy with stuff." Allison could slap herself. Hiya, really. She must sound so dumb. The girl smiled the most radiant smile she had ever seen. Allison smiled and realized she was still shaking the poor girl's hand. She quickly yanked her hand away like it was diseased. She waved bye and walked away. Three days passed before she had the courage to speak to her again.
There she was the most beautiful Rose in the garden. She heard her sweetly singing. Her voice was just as enrapturing as her face. Allison approached and twirled up next her and began singing right along with Rose. Rose laughed and blushed. Allison felt her heart beat faster as Rose began to twirl with her. Then she grabbed her hand and twirled Allison around. The two danced like fools among the flowers, singing at the top of their lungs. Their song and dance ended in laughter. Rose's cheeks were bright pink. She glanced down out of embarrassment. Allison felt so instantly connected to this girl. She wanted to hold her in her arms. More than that she wished they lived in a world where it was okay for her to hold her. Rose's sweet voice broke the silence. "Thank you, Allison. I haven't laughed like that in some time. Everything but this garden is so dreary and condemning here." The two fell in step with one another as they walked through the giant garden. "Well it is a catholic convent. You don't get much more condemning than that." Allison smiled down at her. Rose was about two to three inches shorter but Allison thought she was adorably perfect. Her blue eyes looked up into hers and it was all Allison could do to remember how to breathe. She could t explain how they were icy yet warm all at once. She knew someone had hurt her somehow. The back of Allison's hand grazed Rose's hand as they walked. It sent electric chills down her spine. She reached down and grabbed Rose's hand. "Come on, let's take a picture together with your camera." They stopped in front of some of the prettiest flowers to set up the camera and pose. Allison threw her arms around Rose in a friendly pose. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rose blush. Could there be something there? Allison beamed at the thought of Rose having similar feelings. She leaned her head at an angle toward Rose as the camera flashed.
The two didn't see much of each other over the next few days. A smile here a giggle there. Allison went in to town with one of the sisters to run errands for the convent. She managed to  separate long enough to go into the jewelry store. Her parents sent her money that she had never really touched much or had any use for. She looked around and then spotted the best Valentine gift. A dainty silver necklace with a beautiful rose in the center. "May I see that one, Sir?" Allison pointed at the necklace. The shop keeper unclasped the necklace and allowed her to examine it closer. The cold metal lay across her palm. It was perfect. " I will take it!" She exclaimed exuberantly."Would you like it gift wrapped my dear?"
" Oh yes please." Allison paid and walked out with the gift in a small brown paper bag. Sister Mary Elizabeth stood with a disapproving look on her face. "Metal trinkets are the design of the devil girl. One should not adorn themselves like a harlot. Have you forgotten what brought you to the convent of the holy trinity in the first place. Hand over your bauble." The nun held out her hand.
"No. You take this and my father will hear of it. You wouldn't want his generous donations to the convent to stop would you?" Allison was worried but the nun got in the car and didn't pursue the discussion further. Allison got into the back seat relieved. She hated the idea of the necklace being taken from her. She pushed the nun from her thoughts as she imagined what Rose might say when she gave her the necklace.
Two days later and Allison summoned the courage to write out a message to slip to Rose during mass. If they were caught they would be punished to the full extent of all the reverend mother could muster. Allison passed the note to Rose's hand as they stood singing in Latin. She side glanced at Rose's quizzical expression. She shook her head slightly in a warning manner. Rose slipped the note into her dress pocket. She smiled at Allison in a conspiratorial manner.
Allison went through the remainder of the day nervously waiting for midnight. At eleven forty five Allison slipped from her room. She stealthily slipped to the part of the garden near the woods. She wrapped her cardigan tighter around her as a cold breeze blew. There she was standing in the gazebo. The moonlight fell upon her illuminating her in such a way that she appeared to be angelic. Rose smiled at her as she approached. "Happy Valentine's Day, Allison." Rose shoved  a homemade card and paper sack into her hands. Allison smiled. She took Rose's hand and pulled her to the bench in the gazebo. "Aren't you going to read it?" Rose asked with a scared look on her face. "I have to say something first. I know in this world that there are a lot of people that believe what I am about to say to you is wrong. They can be damned. I know what I feel is right. I love you Rose. I have never felt like this about anyone and how could this love I feel for you be wrong? I could live a thousand lifetimes and know that no matter what they say this feeling is, it isn't wrong. I want you to be mine. Always and forever my, Rose." Allison placed her hands on either side of Rose's face. A tear slipped from Rose's eye. She pulled Rose toward her in a passionate kiss. The gentle brush of her lips against hers was electric. Nothing about it felt wrong in the slightest. Rose's arms wrapped tightly around her as she not only accepted the kiss but returned it. Allison's tears betrayed her as they mixed with the ones already gathering on Rose's cheeks. The perfect kiss ended and Rose stared into Allison's eyes. "I love you too, Allison. I have wanted to say something so many times. I never had the courage to tell you. From the moment I saw you I knew you were special. I wanted you to be mine." Rose tentatively reached out and pushed Allison's black hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek. Allison opened her card and read it. It was a proclamation of Rose's love for her. Allison's throat tightened and more tears escaped her lids. Rose had baked chocolate chip cookies for her. Rose opened her gift with a gasp. "It's so beautiful."
Allison pulled the necklace from its box and placed it around Rose's neck. She clasped it shut. "A Rose for the most beautiful Rose in the garden." She leaned down and kissed Rose deeply. She pulled Rose into her arms and the two sat staring at the stars. They stayed that way until five in the morning. They walked hand in hand and kissed again as they separated at Rose's bedroom door. Allison flopped down onto her bed and screamed into her pillow kicking her feet wildly. Her heart soared as she remembered the kisses they had stolen beneath the moon.
The next few months were full of stolen glances and secret kisses beneath a star filled sky. Allison was beside Rose throughout her entire pregnancy. Allison marveled as she watched Rose blossom. They mused often about running away and raising the child on their own, together. Allison revealed to Rose late one April night that the baby she had carried not too long ago had miscarried. She had only been two and a half months into her pregnancy. As a result Allison would never be able to have a child again. She never fully understood what the doctors had said. She was devastated to know she could never have her own children. Rose and she would sit in their spot in the gazebo and often fantasize about a world where their love for one another was accepted openly.
Rose sat against Allison in the gazebo. Allison lovingly had her arms wrapped around Rose. Rose trailed her fingers lightly up and down Allison's arm. "Do you think in thirty years people can live openly loving whoever they want without consequence?" Rose asked.
"I want to believe we can evolve into a society that stops hating others for their differences. Maybe I'm being too optimistic but I hope someday when we are old and gray with lots of grandchildren around us that we can walk the street holding hands. When did love become something that is frowned upon? Why can no one see that what we feel isn't born from sin?" Allison buried her face in Rose's hair.
"Allison! Rose! Where are you? Come out at once!"
The girls pulled apart at once. Rose got down on her knees and clutched her pregnant belly and began breathing deeply as though she were having pain. She looked up at Allison and winked.
"There you are! Where have you two been." Sister Katherine held a flashlight in one hand and looked accusingly at them. Rose slowly stood and gripped the side of the gazebo.
"I'm sorry sister it's my fault. I needed fresh air and Allison saw me leaving. She followed me because she was worried. I won't let it happen again. I just needed to be in the open air."
Allison looked toward the stern nun to see if she bought the concocted tale. "Oh dear. Are you in pain? Let's get you inside. Allison get on the other side of her and help me get her inside."
They went back in and Sister Katherine asked Allison to stay at her bedside as punishment. Little did Katherine realize she had sentenced her to absolute bliss. As the week wore on, Allison was moved into Rose's room as her roommate. Six new girls had arrived that week and the nuns tried to make room for all the new faces. Sister Mary Elizabeth felt that it would be better to put the girls that had been their longer together.
Every night the girls would lock their door before bed and cuddle close and talk. Love blossomed in that room, a love that would never be torn asunder. A love that was returned to Allison full fold as she stared into the eyes of her Rose.