Chapter 16
Harry's lips smashed into mine as he pushed me up against the wall. Worst thing about it is that I didn't even feel guilty for doing it, so I kissed back. Harry would do anything to shut me up, that's for sure. There's no way in hell that he would do this out of choice, I actually did not mind for that fraction of a second, I did not mind that Louis was siting in bed waiting for me to return. I did not mind that Harry was kissing me.
Suddenly I then realised what I was both thinking and doing and how he was able to manipulate me so easily. I put my palm to his chest and pushed him away. Guilt had started grabbing. It started to slowly suffocate me.
"What the hell were you thinking!" I hissed not wanting to full blown shout at him so that Louis would hear.
"That was nothing, babycheeks." He replied and I honest to god felt chills going down my spine as I slid down the wall that I was pressed upon and recalled the dark and dominant figure that ruled my childhood. My father.
[Flashback]
I was playing with Kate outside in my back garden as any two 5 year olds would do. But everything stopped when a load of teenage boys came into our garden. We had no clue what was to happen.
The boys started to vandalise the yard; throwing our dolls to the floor then continuing to stomp their plastic faces into the ground. They also destroyed the plastic swing set that my father had just recently bought, causing the pink plastic to snap and fall to the now muddy ground.
It was then when my father came out of the house via the French glass door that was the entryway to the garden and began to shout at the males. Safe to say, the boys soon ran for the hills.
Kate was then sent home to get over the shock while I was bathed and put to bed by my mother. Just as I was about to fall asleep the door of my bedroom opened and my father stumbled into the room. In hindsight I recognise that he was extremely drunk but that didn't change what he did, a thing that will remain with me until the day I die.
Although the physical abuse didn't start until I was in my teens. My father made sure to put me in my place from a very early age and he would constantly verbally abuse me long before the physical abuse started. "What did you do, for those boys to come into the garden?"
"Nothing."I replied, my lip quivering. I was honestly so scared at this point I was glued to my bed.
"You know, I would bet your cotton socks that you did something to provoke them" his icy cold breath brushed across the nape of my neck as he whispered but suddenly his tone of voice changed like that. "IT WAS MOST PROBABLY YOUR OWN FAULT FOR THEM EVEN COMING HERE. IT WAS YOUR FAULT THAT THEY WRECKED THE SWING THAT I HAD BOUGHT YOU WITH MY OWN HARD-EARNED CASH AND YOU GO ON TO DO THIS..." His voice boomed across the confines of my room only to be replied by my tears hitting the bed sheets.
"Jasper! Stop it this instant" the door opened to reveal my mother, my literal knight in white armor as she entered the small room with her white dressing gown ties trailling on the floor behind her. She then came to a halt behind my father and stood there just glaring daggers towards him. My father turned around and returned the glare to my mother.
"For that I will make you pay for that and Alexa, darling , that was nothing Babycheeks" my father threatened while storming out of the room treading on the dressing gown ties, turning them dark. The contrast between the white of the dressing gown and the brown mud that my father left on the robe.
Safe to say I was petrified after that and it took my mother a long time to comfort me to sleep. I woke up to find my mother downstairs cooking breakfast as it was a Sunday morning and there was no rush, she was in her white dressing gown while my father was in the living room most probably watching the football from last night.
"Alexa, darling could you pass me some eggs from the counter?" My mother asked, apparently we were supposed to have a cooked breakfast that morning judging from the smell of bacon and sausages sizzling in the frying pan.
I started on my quest to get the eggs, pulling my wooden steps towards the raised counter top where the eggs were located. It is safe to say I was a small child and then my height just shot upwards. But that's beside the point. As I reached for the eggs my foot somehow slipped and as I was falling towards the floor, my head just about to hit the tied floor of the kitchen. I felt the arms of my mother surrounding me, cushioning my fall.
"Mum what's those marks on your arm?" I asked my mother after she had stood me up after my fall as her dressing gown had riden up her arms, revealing five purple marks that looked very similar to my father's fingerprints that gripped her wrists.
"It's nothing honey, let's say we make you some pancakes with syrup?" My mother asked, diverting the five year-old me 's attention away from the bruies that decorated my mother's arms. But present me knew better, present me knew what the monster did, I knew what my father did.
[End of Flashback]
I regained consciousness from the nightmare that I had relived only to see Harry walking away from me down the corridor. I followed the lanky figure, wanting answers and to let him know that he will not be able to get away with the emotional trick that he played with my unconscious. But I was too late, the doors of the lift he entered at the end of the corridor closed before I had the chance to stop it. Defeated yet again by Styles.
Defeated I returned to the flat, my eyes red raw from all the crying I did. I had to come up with a plausible story that Louis would believe. I felt terrible for lying to him. It had to be done. I closed the door of the flat and collapsed against it, crying, yet again. I heard soft footsteps of bare feet padding against the wood flooring of the flat. I instantly knew it was Louis.
"Lex, what's the matter?" Louis asked his voice soft and comforting.
"It was a charity worker and she brought back some bad memories, that's all." I tried to make it sound as insignificant as possible so that Louis wouldn't suspect anything.
"I'm so sorry Lex, I should've gone.." I knew he would do this, ever the kind soul. If louis could spare anyone from pain he would. I'm pretty sure that he'd even take a bullet for the ones he truly loved. This just made me feel worse for lying to him. But is Louis the only person that I'm lying to?
*************************************************
A.N
Hey guys, thanks for sticking with me over the course of this fanfic even when the update schedule has been a bit eratic but I promise that for the next couple of weeks the updates will be frequent as I have been dared to put at least 5 chapters up before Feburary is out ( you know who you are ;)) and this it chapter is Chapter 1/Chapter 5.
Anyways, see you soon.
- A
xox
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