Why

Fragile

My eyes meet his and I'm lost in them. In my opinion their not even pretty, but on him they're perfect. He smiles at me and my body malfunctions. What do I do... I think, but he doesn't give me enough time cause he has already moved on to talking to me. I WASN'T READY!!!

"Hey" he says casually. "Hey" I return responding right after, catching him off guard. The only reason I said it so quickly was because I was nervous and just threw it out there. "How was your summer" he asks putting a smile on his face showing his blue braces which goes straight into my heart causing my voice to crack when I respond. "Good... You" he laughs then tells me about how his summer sucked and how he didn't do anything. I nod throughout his story to show that I'm still interested which I was. I could listen to him talk forever. His voice just sounds so good which is creepy but true. This goes for a good 5 minutes until he was cut off by our teacher who is explaining our course expectations and rules.

When she finally finishes everything for the day, the class erupts into chatter for the last 10 minutes of class.

"Umm... You can.... Continue... If you want..." I say quietly almost inaudible forcing him to move a little closer. "What?? I couldn't hear you" he responds with a concerned look on his face. He moves his face only inches away from mine and I respond freak out. My cheeks turn red and I feel like I'm drenched with sweat. "Ummm... Nothing" floats out of my mouth and I want to suck it back in cause he scoots away and begins talking to some girl next to him. Great job dumbass... You had one shot and you blew. I brush it aside and wait for the bell to ring.

School is almost over I think to myself as I change in the locker room after my 5th period dance class. Only one more class and I'm free from this hell. The bell rings and I make my way to Chemistry meeting up with Kat and Aron on the way giving a reason to slow down cause I know what's next and I'm not ready.

I walk in to Chemistry and see that he's already in there acting how I would describe cute. Our eyes meet and I walk over and sit next to him cause again it's alphabetical order and Kurro is before Lord.

"Hey" he says as I sit down in my seat. "Hey" I reply with a shaky voice which I've had since this morning. "How was your day??" He asks trying to spark up a conversation which would have defiantly worked if I wasn't so stupid and quiet around him. "Good... I just need more sleep" I say which he doesn't here... Maybe he just has bad hearing... Yeah its defiantly that. I sit quietly and wait for class to start when I hear Daniel and his friend Connor talking next to me.

The only words I hear are enough for me to crawl into a ball and cry for the rest of my life.

"There's this one girl I like and her name is Heaven...." 

School ends and my mom is waiting outside ready to pick me up. "How was school" she asks. I shrugged my shoulders and didn't make a noise. After asking the question the third time I could hear she was aggravated with me and just let it go. I didn't want to tell her... I just want to go home and sleep.

When I got home everything was quiet. I made my way up to my room, dropped my stuff on the floor and flopped onto my bed. I only thought of him. The more I thought of him the more I cried. I shouldn't be crying I thought to myself... You knew he didn't like guys but you still believed that you stood a chance. Your too naive. The only one at blame is you... Its all your fault... Why do I even try...

Am I really this fragile...