The Start Of Something New.

45.

**Carter's Pov.**

There was so much blood.
It felt like my entire world was spinning.
Just seeing her laying there.
Not moving.
Not breathing.
Not living.
She was nothing.

"Someone change her!" I could hear others yelling in the distance that felt like miles away from me.
Lexi's body was so pale.
So stiff.
My own chest was aching.
I was lost on what to do.
I knew changing her was the obvious thing.
But did she really want this life?
Could I really force that onto her?

"Carter!" I heard someone yell my name, but I couldn't focus.
I just needed her to wake up.
To tell me how it hurt and for me to kiss the pain away.
But she wasn't waking up.
She wasn't telling me to take the pain away.

"Carter!" I snapped back to reality when I felt Jace's hands on my shoulder's squeezing tightly.
"Turn her." He told me.
I stared back at him as my eyes fell back on Lexi.
I had finally came back to my senses.
Lexi was standing right beside me, when someone from the shadows shot the stake out.
I wasn't even sure if the attack was aimed at her.
No one knew where it came from.
But based on Deidre's expression before she turned to ash.
She was thrilled.
Knowing my mate was killed.

"I-"
"Oh fuck." Jace growled shoving me aside as he bit into his own wrist.
"Jace-"
"What the fuck do you want Carter? This is your god damn mate! If you won't turn her, I will." He growled bitterly.
Standing there, I looked to Lexi before looking back to Jace.
"Its not what she wanted, she didn't want this life-"
"Oh for fucks sake." Jace shoved his wrist to her mouth.

"Jace-"
I went to move but I was surprised when Joshua and Cole stepped in the way, glaring at me.
"Carter, if you lose Lexi now. You'll run, we can't have you abandoning Cloven." Joshua said through gritted teeth, his eyes falling on his own mate.
"Go ahead, Jace." He told him.
Jace didn't need to be told twice as he lifted Lexi's head for the blood to properly go down.
He knelt there for the longest time, glaring at Lexi's limp body.

"Bring her into the room where its warm." Luther instructed as he put out the fire, walking over to us as his eyes fell on Lexi.
I frowned as Jace lifted Lexi up, handing her over to me.
She was like a doll, lifeless.

The entire time I walked carrying her, the weight grew heavier and heavier.
Letting me know.
Her human life had finally came to an end.
----
"I can't believe you were just standing there!" Jace yelled at me outside of the room I shared with Lexi.
I stood there frowning.
"She was gone, Ja-"
"No!" Jace growled.
"She was not fucking gone, you turned into a god damn coward who was fixing to let his mate go, just like that. What the fuck would you of done, if we were too late?" He demanded.
I swallowed hard looking away.
"I would of stayed-"
"You're a god damn liar is what you are." Jace laughed in my face, wide eyes full of amusement.

"You'd fucking stay? After you told me you couldn't live without her? You were prepared to run and leave your fucking son behind, you piece of shit!" He yelled, his fist connecting to my face as I stood there, fully accepting the blow.

I looked down as Jace stood there, glaring harshly at me.
"When she wakes up, you will be there for her. From now until you're both burned at the stake, or something else sneaks up and takes you away from each other. But you will not leave her, do you fucking understand me?" Jace demanded.

I looked at him frowning.
"Yes Jace, I understand." My eyes fell on the bedroom door where Ebony and Devin both were, doctoring Lexi's wound and feeding her blood.
I wanted to be in there so bad, but I didn't have the right.
Not right now.
Not when after everything I've said to her.
To myself..
I was fixing to back out and run.
Abandon everything.

Including, Cloven.

"I'm going to check on my son." I told him tightly.
Jace's eyes flickered.
"Yeah, you go do that before I get pissed even further with you just standing here like an idiot. He's in Stella's room." He told me glaring.
Not saying anything.
I left the others side heading down the hall.

I stood at her door, hearing Stella talking before I knocked.
Soon enough she opened the door, holding Cloven who was looking at me.
I looked at her as she frowned.

"How is she?" She asked.
I managed a shrug.
"I can't go in there, I nearly ran Stella." I told her.
Stella's brows knitted as she pulled me into her room.
I took note that Sage was missing, which only meant she was locked up.

Stella was silent for a moment as she held Cloven in her lap.
Biting her lip she played with my sons tiny hands who giggled at the attention.

"You're worried she'll hate you." She pointed out.
"She will hate me, Stella. Despite my promise I made that I would stay here, and raise our son with or without her. I still nearly ran, in fear of raising him alone." I told her.
Stella looked to me.
"Have you forgotten? You're not alone here, Carter. None of us are, this is a family who is prepared to help raise this adorable bean in my lap." She smiled softly at the babbling baby.

I studied her then Cloven.
"If Lexi doesn't survive the blood transfusion-"
"What do you mean, if she doesn't?" Stella locked eyes with me, now glaring.
"She'll survive, Carter." She growled.
"I know! I'm just saying.. if she doesn't, I don't think I'll be able to raise Cloven.." I bit my lip.

Stella glared at me.
"I want you to get out of my room, and I want you to go be by your mates side. So when she's awake, you will tell her exactly what you just told me-"
"What? I can't tell her that!"
"Fucking tough, Carter! If you can abandon this baby, who did nothing wrong. Then you can abandon your mate, by walking out those doors and never look back." Stella stood up as Cloven began to get fussy.

Stella walked over to her bedroom door, swinging it open.
"Lexi is going to survive that transfusion, and you will remain by her side. And if raising this child still scares you, even knowing she's alive? Then maybe you should go and possibly rot?" She walked up to me, glaring.
"Because abandoning this child over the loss of Lexi, is beyond you. And I won't tolerate the sight of you if you walk out, after putting Lexi through this!" I was glad she placed Cloven on the bed because she began pushing hard on my chest with both hands.
Glaring at me.

"She lost an entire life for you, Carter!" Stella screamed at me, tears burning her eyes.
"She fucking loves you, and you want to leave her son behind because you're a pussy ass coward who can't be a single parent?! Did you really think, we'd make you raise him alone?!" She demanded pointing at Cloven who began to cry hysterically now.

Stella's eyes flickered.
"Just get out, and if you really do abandon Cloven if this transfusion fails. I'll kill you the first chance I see you." She warned slamming the bedroom door in my face.

I stood there, staring at the door as I frowned but made my way back to the room I shared with Lexi.
Stuffing my hands in my pockets as I looked at our bedroom door, hearing Ebony talking to Devin.
Frowning, I walked past the room and headed downstairs.
I needed to inform Sage, if Stella already hadn't.
And bothering her wasn't the best idea.
Not after that blow up.
----
I walked down in the cell room where both Monty and Sage were.
He was just visiting before his eyes fell on me.

"Hey, how did the murder of Deidre go?" He asked casually.
I felt my knees try to buckle.
Jace, Joshua and Stella haven't even told them yet?

I frowned deeply walking up to the two.
"Your mates haven't been down here?" I asked.
Sage shook her head.
"Stella was earlier, but she went out to see if the guys needed help. She never came back, Monty wanted to stay down here with me, mainly because he didn't want to see Jace taking pleasure in killing someone."
Her brows knitted.
"What's wrong Carter, did something happen?" She asked me.

Monty blinked as if just now realizing.
"Where's Lexi?" He went to move forward, but I stopped him.

"There was an attack tonight, no one knows who shot the stake. But.. it hit Lexi." I told them.
Monty's eyes grew wide as did Sage's.
"B-But she's okay right? It just hit her somewhere not i-important right?" Sage's eyes swelled with tears looking at me.
Monty looked at me frowning.
"Do I need to ask Jace?" He asked.

"Lexi is dead." I told them.
The air in the room grew stuffy.
If I was human, I wouldn't be able to breathe this in.

"What...?" Sage looked at me as Monty held the same broken expression.
I looked at them.
"The stake struck her in the chest.. her heart came to a complete stop, but.. Jace forced his blood in her, so its possible she'll wake up from this." I told them, wanting to reassure myself.
But I couldn't.

When a human was already dead and vampires forced blood into their system, it worked fifty-fifty.
The percent where it works, can also fail. The human can wake up as a vampire, but it doesn't last.
Not for long.
I've seen it done countless times with the rejects that Deidre created.
Their bodies rejected the blood and days later.
If that.
Decayed like a vampires would, before it turned into ash.

Sage held the bars.
"She'll wake up, Lexi is stubborn." She smiled softly.
"Especially when she has Noah and Cloven to care for, she can't just abandon them. Right?" She asked with her voice breaking.
Monty looked to her then to me.
"You said that Jace did it, but.. why didn't you turn her? Why did my mate have to force his blood in her, why not yours?" He asked now.

I looked at him.
"It's complicated, Monty-"
"Make it less complicated, and explain how you couldn't do it then!" Monty yelled.

"Monty." I turned as Joshua walked down, blood on his shirt as he frowned deeply at me.
"Lexi is awake and she's asking for you, Carter." He told me.
I stood there but managed a nod.
"I'll go then." I said.

"See," Sage began with a tearful smile.
"She's too stubborn to die." She told me.
I looked to her, and without saying anything else.
I vanished.
---
I walked into our bedroom.
Ebony, Devin, Irina and Luther all present as their eyes fell on me.
My eyes fell on the bed and felt my stomach sink at the sight of her.

Dark veins were all over her body as she lied there, staring directly at me but she held a tired smile.
I was at her side in seconds, taking her hand in mine which was a lot colder.
Frowning deeply I looked at her as she looked at me.

"Hi." She greeted weakly.
I could feel the tears burning my eyes looking at her.
"I'm glad you're awake, Lexi. I was so worried about you, baby." I told her kissing her hands.
She smiled softly.
"I'm sorry for worrying you, Irina filled me in on whats going on.." She had a hard time swallowing as the tears burned her eyes.

"No one knows who, but an outsider shot that stake at me.. and according to Luther, it was aimed only at me. Deidre wanted me dead." She told me.
I squeezed her hand as she frowned softly.
"When I woke up, you weren't here. Where were you?" She asked me now.
I looked at her.
"I was telling Monty and Sage about the accident." I told her now.
She frowned.
"I wish you didn't.. now they're going to freak out, especially Sage.. with her being locked up right now, and unable to come here." She said softly.

"I know I'm sorry for telling them, but they needed to know.. when you're able to walk around, you can go down there for them to scream at you." I told her.
She smiled softly with a nod.
"That sounds like a plan to me." She said.

"Carter." I turned to Irina and Luther who motioned for me to come over to them.
I frowned letting her hand go.
"I'll be back." I promised walking over to the four as I frowned.
"What is it?" I asked them.

Devin looked at me.
"Its not good, Carter." He bit his lip.
Ebony looked to the guardians.
Irina inhaled sharply.
"Lexi isn't going to survive the week, before her body rejects the blood we've been giving her." She explained.
I stood there, tears burning my eyes but I blinked them away frowning deeply.

"So, my assumption was right.. she's going to leave me behind." I said softly.
Irina rubbed my arm looking at me.
"None of this was planned Carter, we just want you to be prepared.. so you can be there for Cloven, he'll need you more than ever now." She told me.
I wanted to step back.
I wanted to laugh and tell them I couldn't do this.
But I just stood there.
And nodded.

I left their side and walked back over to Lexi.
She smiled softly at me.
"Did they tell you?" She asked.
I looked at her.
"Why are you so calm about this?" I hissed quietly, tears slipping.
She smiled softly.
"I'm not.." she laughed.
"But I know you'll take care of Cloven and Noah for me. They'll need you." She told me.
I shook my head looking at her with knitted brows.
"I need you, Lexi." I cried squeezing her hand.
Her smile fell as she stared at me.
"Don't be angry." She said now.

I laughed wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
"Don't be angry." I repeated as the tears fell.
"How can you tell me not to be angry? We were supposed to be a family, Lexi." I looked at her.
Lexi frowned at me.
"I'm sorry that this happened, and I'm sorry I'm not getting a year or even a life with you.." Tears rolled down her pale cheeks.
"But we are a family, we have a beautiful boy who you'll love and Noah who needs you to lead him in the right direction, please Carter." She cried now as my chest grew painfully tight.

"Don't abandon them." She told me.
----
Four days passed and everyone was surprised when Lexi began to walk around.
She mainly stayed in the baby room that was now Cloven's.
She wanted to spend each passing second with him.
Yesterday.
She had to explain to Noah that she would be leaving him behind.
And they both cried for the longest time.
There was nothing I could do.
It was completely out of my hands now.

I stood in Cloven's room, leaning against the wall as Lexi cradled our son singing quietly to him.
The song was stuck in my head.
"You are my sunshine.. my only sunshine.. You make me happy, when skies are grey.. You never  know, dear, how much I love you.. Please don't take my sunshine away..." She sang to him as he began to fall asleep.

Fixing to continue singing.
I frowned hearing gentle taps as the door opened.
Devin stepped in.
"Luther wants to speak with you, Lexi." He said quietly.
Her eyes fell from her son then to him.
"I'll be right there, thank you." She smiled laying Cloven back down.

Immediately I walked over to let her wrap her hand around my arm.
She held me tightly as we walked out of the room.
Closing the door behind us we walked down the hall, up the stairs then into the guardians room.

Luther stood at the window, staring at the pouring rain.
His arms folded behind his back, before he looked to us.
Irina sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes stuck on us as she looked to her husband.
"Luther has something he wants to share with you Lexi, you have the right to know.. even if this is bad timing." She said softly.

Luther looked to her then walked up to us, his arms remained crossed as he stood in front of my mate.
Frowning down at her.

"I know the thoughts crossed your mind over and over again, starting from that first dream you had of Deidre being recognized as your mother." He began, his eyes never leaving Lexi's who I could tell already knew where this was going, but wanted to hear it from the other.
Luther looked at her.
"A Sir Kirk appeared in your dreams, correct? Who slept with Deidre and got her pregnant?" He asked.

Lexi frowned but nodded.
"Yes, there was also a Jeremiah who appeared and turned out to be this old blind woman's husband, who passed away a few years back." She told him.
He frowned but nodded.

"Sir Kirk was me, Lexi. I am your biological father." He told her.
My eyes grew wide.
She stood there looking at him.
"I'm not sure if my body is supposed to be this numb, but I am reacting." She pointed at her face.
"My body is just shutting itself down.. but, I had a small hunch you were him.. you two were too identical.." She frowned looking at him.

"But this was bad timing.." She bit her lip.
"All of these years.. when you and I first met, you addressed me as a human.. you knew from the start, I was your daughter. But like Deidre, you didn't acknowledge me because I was human." She said icily.
"No, that isn't why-"
"But it is, Luther!" Lexi hissed with a wince, her hand holding her side as she frowned at him through burning tears.
"You were my dad this whole time.." Her eyes fell on him.
"But, unlike Deidre. I actually forgive you for your negligence... based on what we've gone through, everything makes sense... part of me just wishes, I had known sooner.." She looked at him frowning softly now.

"But, it does make me happy knowing Cloven has a grandparent.. well," her eyes fell on Irina.
"Grandparents." She smiled as Irina wiped her eyes.

Lexi covered her mouth going into a coughing fit.
"I need to lay down.." She looked at me.
I lifted her off her feet as she leaned against me.
Her eyelids growing heavy.
Adjusting her I walked down the hall.

When we made it into our room.
I lied her down as she pulled me down with her.
"Kiss me, Carter." She smiled softly.
Not objecting, I kissed her as she brought her hand to my cheek.
Looking at me.
"I love you so much, Carter Jensen.. and despite me leaving you all behind, I don't regret meeting you.. or falling in love," she blushed.
"Making love and giving birth to our son." She smiled.
"I did a lot until now, and life got more interesting when I met you.. and I'm sorry that we can't get married." She said now.

I looked at her.
"Give me one second on that statement." I said leaving her side as I went to my dresser, digging around in the top drawer before pulling out a black band.
Sighing with relief I rejoined her as she looked at me confused.

"Carter-"
"Do you, Lexi Grimes. Take me, Carter Jensen as your mate and husband? Until death do us part?" I asked.
She blinked but her eyes gained some life as she blushed through the tears that fell.
She nodded.
"I do." She confessed.
Blushing softly.
I placed the black band around her ring finger, holding her hand for a moment.
She smiled softly.

"Do you, Carter Jensen. Take me, Lexi Grimes as your mate and wife? Until death do us part?" She asked me now.
Biting my lip, I nodded.
"I do." I confessed.
Tears slipped as she smiled.
"You may now kiss the bride." She told me.

Leaning down, I captured her lips for the last time.
Because tonight.

Was my final night with her.