Lay and be lonely | H.S

Chapter 4

Sunday, October 25th, 10:00 pm

Yesterday and today went by like a flash. I haven't done anything. I just laid in bed these past two days. I don't even have an actual reason, I just did.

My mom is concerned as usual, her overprotectiveness sending her to overdrive and panic sets in. She asks continuously if something happened, if I didn't take my meds.

I thought about my encounter with Harry more than I like to admit. I should've asked him what he was doing at this time. I should've replied differently to him. I was too forward, too awkward. Why am I like this? He probably has a very weird first impression of me. All of it unpleasant.

It's not like I should care. The first time I ever met him he was an asshole, even the second time. He really is annoying. I wonder what's the reason behind it all. Is he like that with everyone? He doesn't even know me, why is he being such a jerk??
-
Monday, October 26th, 12:00 pm

It's already lunch time at school. I'm sitting with Rose and a couple of other friends around us chatting. I didn't feel like talking today, I was just listening to Rose babble on about something, I lost her way ahead, I can't even ask what she's talking about anymore. Surprisingly, I actually like to talk to Rose a lot. She's a really good listener, and she knows me more than anyone. I feel like I can be closest to myself when I'm with her. I couldn't be more thankful for that.

"Lana! 10 o'clock! That beautiful boy has been stealing glances from you for the past 5 minutes", she gushed, trying to contain her panic so it doesn't drag any attention.

Subtly glancing to my side. It's the one and only Harry Styles. He's probably judging the hell out of me after our what happened.

"He's so dreamy! I could get lost in him for days, I don't even know his name yet, such a mystery! I love it." she sighs dramatically.

"It's Harry Styles, and you won't believe what happened Friday night" I started telling her every tiny detail of what happened that night. It was common between me and Rose we told each other everything.

Her mouth open the entire time, Rose listened and her face was absolutely priceless.

"Oh my, Lana! Since when have you become so bold?! I raised you right, haha! The Lana I know wouldn't even go up to him. Let alone tell him to get up and leave then proceed to sit with him unbothered!" She was so loud and my face was beet red.

I should've told her that at home over the phone. If anyone paid even the tiniest bit of attention they'd know. I find my encounter super embarrassing and I want to keep it to myself as much as I can, besides telling Rose.

"Rose, shut up! You're so loud everyone can hear us." I hissed and she put a hand over her mouth, her eyes crinkling. I can imagine the stupid childish grin on her face.

"That is SO romantic, this sounds like it came out of the movies!"

"No, are you insane he's an asshole and I don't even think about it that way. He's not my type. Because frankly, assholes are not my type."

Saved by the bell. Lunch time was over.
I did not know where this conversation was going but I didn't like it. Rose didn't say anything after that. But whenever she looked at me or saw Harry she'd have knowing smirk on her face.

It wasn't that big of a deal. She really is overreacting. It's not like I pushed him against the tree and started making out with him!

A small part of me wouldn't mind doing that. Those pink lips were just so luscious.

God, I'm disgusting. What's wrong with me?!

I went to my next class. It was maths. I honestly strongly disliked the class because I knew no one there. I just sat in the corner by myself. That did benefit me though, without any of my friends talking my ear off, I can actually concentrate and get a lot of work done.

Maybe a little doodling on the side. Or a lot.

But somehow I was still the topper of my class.

As the teacher was in the middle of explaining something. The door bursts open and in walks Harry. No expression on his face. No emotion, it was unsettling. And that's coming from a person who barely has any functioning stable emotions to begin with.

"Mr, styles. You might be new but you must know it is unacceptable for you to be this late! This is your first warning. You're already falling behind as it is. Have a seat!"
The teacher lectured him. I could tell Harry was in a different universe his mind somewhere far away.

Harry started walking through the class. Eyeing all the empty seats. There was even one girl who waved signaling for him to sit next to her. But he just looked the other way. Even though that was such a dick move, I couldn't help but stifle a giggle. After all Jessica was a little bit of a bitch. I can tell she's been all over him since he stepped foot into the school. She always did it. That girl is as dumb as a fly. She won't take hints.

I've been with her since middle school.
She stole my so called "boyfriend" then.
I was slightly hurt that he picked her over me. But to be fair I never showed him any type of affection. When he asked me to hold hands once I didn't talk to him for a week. I'm not very good at being affectionate. Never been the type for that.

Too caught up thinking about my old boyfriend and Jessica's menacing ways; I felt heat radiating from a body sat next to me. I looked to my side to see Harry. Staring ahead. Clearly not paying any attention to class still in his own universe.

We were very much alike when it came to that. Each of us too caught up in their own thoughts to pay attention to anything else.

I started doodling again. But I felt his eyes were on me. My palms suddenly got sweaty. I didn't like his staring one bit.

"What are you staring at?" What the hell, I really did just say that out loud! Am I stupid.

"Nothing." He replied in his usual monotone voice.

The awkwardness was too much to handle. But once again I was saved by the bell. I started gathering my stuff my eyes glued to my hands. As I was leaving, a voice called to me.

"Excuse me, Miss Dawson, Mr. Styles, I'd like to talk to both of you for a minute please."

My soul has left the chat.

-
Hehe. Thank you for reading!
I tried to do a cliffhanger because I love messing with people.

This chapter is dedicated to a very close irl friend of mine. Thank you for constantly supporting me through everything I love you sm. ur the best. Thanks for hyping me up with this story <3

Much love, tpwk,
-J <3