Can I?- Sander Sides AU

Chapter 8- Thomas

What's happening to me?! I've been a lot more stressed than usual, hella sad, and no one has answers! Not Logic, or Princey or even Morality! I at least thought that he would have answers, seeing that he's the core of most of my emotions. I decided to summon them after I got the 5th panic attack this week and it was only Wednesday. 

"Morality! Logic! Creativity!" I call, waiting for them to rise. "What do you need, Thomas?" Logic was the first to show up as usual. "Whaddya need kiddo?" Morality was wearing his cat hoodie. Strange. "Are you ready to practice the lines for the musical?" Princey was energetic. "No, I am not ready for that. I am so not ready for it at all. If I mess up, then everyone's gonna laugh. I'll be the failure of the school." I sigh and feel everyone's gaze on me. Just thinking about it makes me anxious. Mabey I shouldn't do the musical. I start to ball up, sensing a panic attack coming on. The worried chatter of my sides is blocked out by other thoughts. Much more terrifying ones.

"We probably shouldn't go. Stuffing up means being the laughing stock of the school. No one will like us. We'll be the outcast." 

My thoughts were interrupted by a yell, but I kept my head in my knees, "WHAT THE- HOW DID I GET HERE!" Who's that? "Anxiety! What did you do?!" Princey's defensive voice rings through my ears.  Anxiety? Do I have anxiety? Makes sense. I feel his thunderous gaze on me. I hear his almost silent footsteps towards me. He moves next to me and sits down with a thump.

"Sorry." He mumbles. For what? Is he my anxiety? Is he apologizing for making me stressed? I can't hear the others now, and I see him wince. Now he's balling up. He's starting to freak out. It's making me stressed. I can only faintly hear the others yelling at him, all but Morality. He just looks guilty. Princey is yelling the most. With shaking hands, he pulls his hood over his head. I watch him closely.  He's shaking, much more than me. I calm down a bit, but he hasn't. If anything, he's shaking more.

Virgil POV

I start sinking involuntary. Shit.

"WHAT THE- HOW DID I GET HERE!"

When I rise up, I am baffled by the scene in front of me. A boy my age is cowering against the wall, Roman, Logan and Patton are talking in a worrisome tone about the boy's mental health. Well, Roman and Logan are. Patton's kinda zoned out. My yell interrupts everyone, even the boy who is against the wall flinched. "Anxiety! What did you do?!" Princey yells at me. I flinch, "What do you mean what did I do?  Why the hell am I here?" I yell back. "Well, I don't know! Mabey Thomas summoned you or something! How do you not know what you're doing to Thomas!" Roman continues to yell at me. So this is Thomas. I feel bad for the kid. He looks like he's having a panic attack. Roman yelling isn't going to make it any better. 

"I'm going to regret this," I mutter under my breath as I walk towards Thomas. I ignore Princey's shouts and Logan saying why I shouldn't approach Thomas. I couldn't hear anything from Patton though. I breathe out a sigh and sit next to the shaking teen. This is my fault. "Sorry," I whisper, as I took Thomas's panic away. Not completely, but enough to have him not in panic attack mode. What does this do to me, you may ask. Well, let's just say I'm getting a panic attack now. Taking what was making him stressed out and giving that to me. 

Apparently it was how loud it was. Why is it so loud? I ball up, trying to block out all the sound. I pull up my hood and try to breathe. I take more of Thomas's stress away. He stopped shaking but I am more now. Roman and Logan are still yelling at me, Patton is calming down Thomas and Thomas is looking at me curiously. Why did I do this?

Patton finally noticed my state and did something I've never seen him do. Get angry, "Alight! SHUT IT!" He yelled, startling everyone and making the room go quiet. He took a deep breath, "Can't you see! Yelling at him will only make it worse! Yelling at him stresses Thomas out, and Anxiety is taking away that stress. To stop Thomas from panicking because of your yelling!" Patton's voice is loud for them but sounds like he's yelling through a megaphone for me. Patton turns and rushes to me, remembering what I told him the first time we met. To not touch someone when they are having a panic attack.

"Can you hear me Anx?" I try to nod, "Okay, I'm right here, breath in for 4 seconds," He demonstrates and I try to follow, "Good, now hold you're breath for 7 seconds," He said in a calming voice, "Now, breath out for 8 seconds." I do as he says, with varying degrees of success. After a few minutes of repeating these steps, I calmed down from a full-blown panic attack. Roman looked amazed at Patton, Logan looked at him admiringly. Thomas looks at me curiously. I guess he's still trying to figure out who I am. I sigh, "Well, nice meeting you Thomas. Roman, you're a douche. Logan, you're also a douche. Patton, you're great. Thank you all so much for giving me a panic attack. Bub-bye" I go back to my room. Putting on my headphones, I ignore the tugging feeling in my gut. Something isn't right. 

Hours go by when I feel something in my pocket. The note. Mabey I should talk to Thomas after all. Nothing can be more disastrous than this morning.

Logan's POV

I rose up when Thomas called me. Patton came shortly after then so did Roman. Thomas started to get stressed about the upcoming musical performance. It then appeared that he was having a panic attack. Anxiety then showed up with a surprised yell. He noticed Thomas in his distressed state. He muttered something about regretting this and then slumped next to Thomas. "Sorry" he muttered, as he began to wince. Thomas looked calmer. Was he taking the stress of Roman yelling away? I must ask him about it later. He pulled up his hood and started shaking more violently. "Umm, is he okay?" I ask Patton who is looking concerned about his friend. roman kept going on about how he kept breaking everything. Patton looked like he had enough of Roman's hurtful speech, "Alright, SHUT IT!" Roman looks so surprised, I am somewhat scared. None of us has seen him so mad before. 

He rushes over to Anxiety and does some sort of breathing exercise. I admire how he always puts his friend first. He stood up for Anxiety multiple times and somehow always has a smile on his face. I have now learnt that the smile is usually fake, but he seems to be actually happier. I think. Emotions are the bane of my exitance. He calms Anxiety down. Roman looks amazed and I look at him admirably. I wish I could be able to deal with situations like this as easily as Patton can. But I'm not anything to do with emotions, only logic.

 Anxiety sighs, "Well, nice meeting you Thomas. Roman, you're a douche. Logan, you're also a douche. Patton, you're great. Thank you all so much for giving me a panic attack. Bub-bye" He sinks out. "Who was that?" Thomas questions, "That was Dr Gloom, also known as Anxiety." Roman says. Patton gives a scary look. Mabey Roman should stop calling Anxiety names. For his own sake.

"Umm, okay. What did he do? To deserve so much hate?" Thomas questioned further, "Well, Creativity just has a general disliking to Anxiety-" Roman cuts me off, "He is the embodiment of fear! Fear is one of the only things that get in the way of dreams and pursuing them!" He does an overdramatic hand gesture and I sigh. "Well now that, that episode is done, what did you require assistance with, Thomas?" Thomas sighs, "Well, I was going to ask why I've been feeling so anxious lately, but it looks like I found my answer." He thanks us all and we go back to the mind palace. What a disaster.

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Word count: 1449

Oooo, Thomas finally met Anxiety! Wow, so I have somewhat made lemonade, but it's still super sour. 

Love ya

- An Aussie Unicorn <3