Dead Or Alive

Dead Or Alive (PROLOGUE)

Tempest POV

Call Out My Name by The Weeknd (song for whole prologue)

I watched as he stretched making his muscles flex in the best way from my tree. I could feel the rough tree bark tearing at my skin, but it suddenly all faded away from me. It didn't really matter anyway. I couldn't die, at least not now. Although sometimes I wished I could.

It was times like this that I wanted to. The loneliness hurt the most when I watched him, but it was impossible for me to look away. It reminded me that I couldn't have him no matter how bad I wanted him. That I would always be alone. Always unloved. I hate how I love him so much yet he hurts me so bad. I tried not to.

I tried to look at other men. I even tried being sexual with them, but it never felt right. It felt as if I was being almost burnt when they touched me. It just wasn't natural or right. They could never do anything for me anyway. None of them made me nervous or made my hands shake or my heart beat faster. And I hated it, but I loved it at the same time too. And it was killing me.

Each morning when he offered me breakfast I wanted to scream and cry and then kiss him. None of it made sense, but it felt right. Sometimes I wanted to ask him. Ask if I was his, and he was mine. Ask if he was just not saying anything. But that was was ridiculous and stupid. It was me trying to find some reason why I felt this way and some reason for him to feel the same.

But he didn't.

If I was his then he would say something. He would claim me and take care of me. He would love me. But he did none of that. He wasn't scared of anything; he was too brave for that. So that leaves me back in this tree watching him train with the other men.

Although there were many shirtless men out on the field none of them ever did anything for me. And I hated that too. I hated that the only one I wanted didn't want me back. That I could never want anyone else like I wanted him. That I couldn't want anyone else at all.

Why couldn't he just want me back? Why couldn't I just know?

Why couldn't I know who my mate was? But I already knew the answer to that question. Because she wanted to make sure that I would never be loved. That I would never get what I wanted the most, a mate.

I could never feel my mate. There would be no distinctive scent or spark. I was cursed to an entirety alone unless my mate found me. She didn't count on me escaping, so she didn't bother to ensure that my mate couldn't feel me. But that didn't matter. Because no mate had found me, and I was already in love with someone who wasn't mine.

I tried to flirt with men. I tried to get over this impossible want. I tried to pretend that I didn't need a mate. I tried to pretend I didn't care. I tried to act confident like nothing bothered me. But everything bothered me. The way he towered over me with a look a couldn't decipher in the mornings bothered me. It killed me.

Each day that I couldn't hate him took a bit out of me. Left me with less energy, less giggle, less skip, less life. Or maybe it was each day that he wouldn't love me.

I tried desperately to live, to be alive. To be happy and not lost in hopeless hope. But that only left me feeling more dead than alive. I walked, I breathed, I talked. But I didn't walk because I had anyplace to go; I walked because I wanted people to think I did. I breathed because I thought it was what others wanted even though it hurt me. I talked with nothing to say.

So as I sat there watching Vulcan Stone warm up I asked myself, was I dead or alive?

WELCOME!!! I missed you all even though it has only been a couple of days. It feels like an entirety. To all the new comers, WELCOME!!! Getting this up was quicker than I thought it would be so yay! I'm so excited to start this new adventure with you all and our sweet little Tempy. Please comment what you thought.

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*Tempest sits in his tree swinging his legs* please do all that *gives a weak smile and goes back to book*

Until next time I wuv you all peace ❤❤😊😊✌✌