Train my heart

Silence

Chan

"Okay and 1..2..3..4- Seungmin remember it goes left then right"

He nods cheerfully and mumbles a silent sorry. Everyone was getting nervous because the big show was tonight. I could tell Hyunjin and Minho we're getting anxious because either Changbin or Seungmin would slightly miss a beat or a step and they'd groan in annoyance.

However I'm glad they didn't voice there annoyance otherwise I think there would be a fight.

"Okay guys from the top. We need to get this perfect"

I try to encourage everyone to focus and we start from the top. This time we are all in sync with each other and everyone is hitting the beats amazingly well.

"And pose"

The boys laugh at me as I shout, but I'm glad the tension in the room has disappeared. Well not all.

"Okay you can go to lunch now, but don't eat too much I don't want you guys getting sick."

The boys cheered and clapped as they left the room. I noticed that Seungmin and Felix wouldn't leave each others sides. They were basically connected at the hip.

And I didn't like it. The way Seungmin was able to cheer Felix up every time he seemed sad and the way he made Felix smile made me crazy.

Why can't I make Felix smile like that. Every time I would look at him or check on him he would avoid my eye contact.

Did I do something wrong?

"Lix come on have some of my ramen. It's really good~"

I walk into the kitchen where the boys were all sat around the table eating their ramen.

"I'm alright Minnie, I'm fine with my apple."

Everyone was talking and laughing and having fun so I sat next to Jisung and joined in.

"No come on lix.. for me~"

But my attention was only on Seungmin and Felix's. How they were talking sweetly to each other and making earth other smile.

"Okay fine. Ahhhh~"

I watch as Seungmin fed Felix happily and I felt my blood boil. How come it's so easy for Seungmin? How come Felix trust Seungmin?

"Wow Minnie it's amazing~"

Felix smiled at Seungmin and I couldn't take it anymore.

*BANG*

"When you guys are done eating I want everyone in the practise room."

I could stand one more minute in that room.

Felix

"What's up with him?"
"I don't know, he was fine a minute ago."
"Maybe he's just stressed?"

Everyone mumbled about Chan's outburst, but I stayed silent. I didn't want to talk about him.

But I don't know why he's acting like this either. However I'll just let him live his life, why should I get involved...

"Come on lix one more bite and I promise I'll leave you alone."

Seungmin brightly said as he waved another portion of delicious ramen in my face.

"Okay..."

I open my mouth and enjoy the amazing noodles that Woojin prepared.

"Okay let's go before Chan shouts at us again."

Changbin says as we all agree and head back to the studio where chan was waiting for us. He looked as if we was ready to kill us, honestly if looks could kill we would all be dead by now.

"We're back~ come on chan lets practise!"

Jisung tries to cheer everyone up with his cute little voice and it definitely worked for most of us except Chan who kept his hard, cold facial expression on his face.

"Whatever... lets get started"

Chan was being cold and honestly it was starting to get annoying. Why has he suddenly changed, what does he have to be mad about.

I don't get this guy...

"Felix are you even listen!" I snap out of my thoughts as I hear my name being shouted. "Jesus. Are you trying to make us look bad... oh wait you already do so-"

"Chan!"

W..what? Did..did he really just..just say that...

I knew it..

"You have not right to say that! Felix is part of our team and one of the best dancers! How could you as our leader say such a horri-"

"No... it..it's fine.."

Hyunjin began to shout at chan as I felt the tears run down my face and the arms of Seungmin wrap around me.

"No Felix it's not fine. He shouldn't say such a-"

"Hyunjin... I... I said it's fine, b..but I'll be going back to the d..dorm... I'm going to rest before tonight.."

"Wait-"

Before anyone could stop me I was already out of the room. I didn't want be there. Why would I? I guess al my assumptions were right... I am letting down the team.

I don't deserve to be here. I knew I wasn't good enough.. and it just needed Chan to be in a bad mood to relieve the truth...

Maybe it would be best if I left the group... as chan said I make them look bad.. I don't want there reputation to be tarnished by me..

They've worked too hard for me to ruin everything...

Chan

"You idiot! I can't believe you said that to him!!"
"Chan that was low. Why would you say that? You know it's a lie"
"Im so disappointed chan.."
"You know how Felix feels why would you do that?!"

Everyone was shouting at me and pointing fingers as I just stood there and took the insults.

I deserve them anyway. What I said to Felix was out of hand and it didn't want to say it.. but I did and I regretted it straight away as I saw his eyes sparkle with tears.

"I don't know..."

I mumble as they all ask why I said such an awful thing to Felix.

"Well you do know why Chan.." suddenly Seungmin starts to talk and as we make eye contact I feel the same burning in my stomach. "We all saw the way you acted at lunch.. why did you have the sudden attitude change, huh? And why did you target Felix only? You obviously have a problem."

I clench my fist as Seungmin keeps provoking me. Why does he have to get involved, huh?

"This wouldn't have happened you just stayed away from my Felix!"

Suddenly everyone was silent and their faces look shocked. Wait what did I just say?

"So you're jealous... you said that to Felix BECAUSE YOU WERE FUCKING JEALOUS!?"

Hyunjin shouts at me and pushes me back, I've never seen Hyunjin looks so angry and I've realised that I've been an absolute idiot.

"Hyunjin calm down.."

Jeongin says in a small voice and Hyunjin slowly calms down and take his boyfriend in his arms.

"I'm disappointed, but not surprised... but we all know you've lost him now.."

Woojin says in a solemn voice. I pats my back and shakes his head. Woojin being disappointed is the most quilt inducing thing to ever happen and the hardest kick in the heart.

All the boys go over to Hyunjin to calm him down and I was left.

But I know what I need to do.

I need to fix this.