Why me?

Please

After a long semi- struggle I finally got Colby into his bed. And after an even longer debate with myself I got into it with him. And as crazy as it sounds it was comfortable. As I was laying there I started thinking, you are no good for him? You know what happens, you could hurt him. You promised that you wouldn't do this to anyone else. Once it's all over then you can be with whoever you want, but for now just try and stay away from any the of feeling. I sigh knowing my inner self was right. I will be nice but keep myself away from everyone. Just as that thought resonated in my mind Colby sleepily put his hand over me. He is going to make this a lot harder than it has to be. I didn't move his hand and just fell asleep. The next morning I got up with no nightmares and by how quiet the house was I knew no one else was up so I quickly hopped in the shower and did my morning routine. I creeped downstairs and got everything out to make pancakes, bacon, sausage, toast, egg whites, and scrambled eggs. I started making the food and setting it out on the table. While I was almost done cooking Aaron came down the stairs, "whatcha making?" He said looking over my shoulder. "Breakfast and I noticed yesterday night that you eat egg whites so I made those for you." I said and he looked at me surprised. "Wow! Thanks." He went to reach for the plate and I smacked his hand. "No touching until everyone is here. I'm finishing up the scrambled eggs down can you call or text everyone to get up and come down here?" I asked and he took out his phone. "While you're here I will add you to the trap house group chat. What's your number?." I looked at him in a duh tone. "My phone is in my locked house. Can you just send out a text?" He blushed our of embarrassment and nodded. I finished all the eggs just as everyone was coming downstairs. I heard a bunch of woahs and omg's from everyone as they sat down. "I made you guys breakfast. I hope you all enjoy." I sat down with the rest and everyone got there plates and started piling on food. I got compliments from almost everyone as we began to eat. Three minutes in I look up after feeling eyes on me to see Corey glaring at me. I looked at him confused until he spoke up. "Do you think you can win us over by cooking. It's not going to work. You don't belong here and we both know it." He kept glaring even as Devyn slapped his arm and Colby scolded him. I looked around the table seeing that no one is enjoying their meal anymore. "Excuse me i have lost my appetite." I got up and walked out of the house and into the drive way sitting on the little concrete wall by the bushes. As expected yet unwanted Colby comes out after me with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm so so-" I stopped him. "It is not your fault that he doesn't like me and is rude. I know that my intentions are good and that I am only here to help. I just need to get away for a bit so I am going to walk somewhere." I get up to go put my shoes on and Colby stops me. "I know you mean well so don't worry. I don't want you walking alone so either take someone with you or use my car." I looked at him in disbelief. "I can't take your car. What if you need to go somewhere? I'm not here to use you Colby. And I don't want anyone around me right now. I'll be fine by myself, plus I don't have my wallet to put gas in your car." I try and continue to walk but Colby blocks my path again. I sigh and look back up at him. "I know you can handle yourself but please just take my car. I'm not going anywhere today and if there's an emergency I can use Sam's car. My tank is full and you don't need to pay me back. This is to give me peace of mind so please just do it for me." I scanned his face and saw nothing but sincerity. "Okay fine." I pouted as he handed me his keys. As I put my sneakers on and was heading out the door Katrina stopped me. "Can I go with you? I just want to talk." I was going to turn her down but she walked to the car and got in already. Okay guess we're both going I mumbled and got in. I had Colby open the gate and I sped off with Katrina.