𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒔 : 𝒘𝒐𝒘𝒌𝒘𝒂𝒏

ive missed your cologne

the human mind is weak, so easily manipulated by others and its self that it's laughable.

so easily blinded by sleep, drugs, and sex.

we go numb so quickly, blank to our own pain or the pain we cause onto others. empty monsters who harm without thought but do it with smiles and hugs and kisses.

somehow Donghun turned into that monster.

looking outside the picture frame of current events is humiliating, because it's exactly what the town had pegged Donghun to be.

a drugged up drop out who slept around and partied without thought.
god how he played into their expectations blindly.

Donghun is a monster, but he's not numb.

no. he feels it all.

The brunette is alone for the first time in almost a month. the house he's been staying at, owned by the guy who happily fed him all the pot and alcohol he could ingest in exchange for a body to use, is constantly bustling with people from all crowds.

ranging from the rich kids at school Chan always told him about to the proud hippies from a town over. the house was never quite, until today.

The man (his dealer? his friend? boyfriend? Donghun wasn't even sure what to call him anymore) had left for the next two days to visit a friend.

Donghun wasn't asking nor complaining, instead he let's his body slump on the creaky couch in the living room of the small house and relax.

He tries not to think, think about who he misses and cared for. Doesn't want to imagine blonde, black and red hair colors. thinking about cat like eyes, strong facial features and warm hugs only hurts his heart.

He's been gone too long, and they all heard by now just who Donghun turned into.

He never wanted to stay away, he loved his friends with his whole being. He cared for Byeongkwan and Chan like his own precious children and Junhee was beyond a best friend.

sometimes he thinks about calling or texting them, just to see how they're doing.
Is Junhee getting enough sleep? Remembering to eat? Is Chan getting help in his math class like Donghun asked him to? Is he making sure he doesn't get sick? Is Byeongkwan doing okay? He knows the younger was getting awfully quiet and anxious when he last saw him, was he okay?
Did Sehyoon hate him?

Donghun realized why he shouldn't be alone anymore, because God damnit if his head wouldn't shut the fuck up. the worries and self loathing thoughts now racing at lightspeed.

suddenly his skin crawls and he can feel all of the hands that have touched him recently. he can feel clouds of smoke in his lungs and the burning of white drugs up his nose.

in the end, Donghun realizes that he's just like what everyone said he was.

"Hello?"
"Hello...?"

"Junhee..."

"... Donghun? Is that you?"