Broken Windows // Phan AU

Epilogue: Lost and Found

TEN YEARS LATER

It's Saturday morning. I'm pulling open the door of the main entrance to Westview Mall, instantly being greeted by the cool, air-conditioned atmosphere inside. It feels so good on this hot summer day.

I'm looking for a present for my nephew Evan's tenth birthday. He's been really into science and video games, so I start heading toward the toy and game store. It's on the upper level of the mall. I step onto the escalator as I sift through ideas in my head.

What would I have wanted on my tenth birthday? Considering that was over thirty years ago, it's difficult to remember. I must have wanted something really nerdy. When I was young, I always knew exactly what I wanted. Not so much anymore. Things are different now.

But it's here on this escalator, as I stand racking my brain for gift ideas, that something catches my eye, instantly distracting me from the task at hand.

A face. A person. Curly hair, brown eyes. Familiar.

I know him.

He's going down the escalator parallel from the one on which I stand.

How is this possible? And what do I do?

I don't have time for much; he's descending and descending and I'm almost at the top. So of course, without thinking, I do what any logical person would do in a situation like this.

I turn around and start going down the up-escalator.

I have to hurry before he disappears. There is a group of people on the escalator behind me; I push past them, excusing myself and trying to ignore the irritated looks on their faces as I squeeze through the crowd. When I finally make it to the bottom, I look around frantically until I spot him.

I hesitate for only a moment, contemplating what the hell I'm going to say to him, but before I can collect my thoughts, I'm rushing forward until I'm right behind him, and I'm placing a shaking hand gently on his shoulder.

He whirls around and looks me in the eyes, and memories come flooding back.

I'm looking up at him for the first time as he pins me to the kitchen floor, blood trickling down his face. I'm smiling at his laughing face as he reads off his cards the first time we played Cards Against Humanity together. I watch his eyes as they reflect the fireworks on New Years Eve, and leaning in for our first kiss. I'm looking at his body as he touches mine for the first time. And I'm tearing up as I walk away from him, his painful words still fresh in my mind: I don't love you.

Now here we are, face to face for the first time in... how many years has it been? And he's looking at me, awestruck, both of us at a loss for words until I finally muster up the courage to say something somewhat normal.

"How... how long have you been out?"

"Three months."

A silence grows between us again, so I decide to stop pretending to be calm and tell him how I'm really feeling. "I don't know what to say."

"I don't either."

"I don't even know why I came up to you."

"...I'm glad you did. You look good."

"Th-thanks."

Pause.

A blurted question.

"Why'd you shut me out?" I can't help but ask.

"What-"

"I tried to visit you like six times and they kept telling me you didn't want to see me."